my boyfriend's father cheated on his mom more times than he can count with just as many women. his father also used to beat his mom and him a bit. i'm a little worried about what may happen if we end up getting married. i love him so much and want to be there for him but i also know history tends to repeat itself and growing up with something like that can change your perspective. i was just wondering if anyone knew actual statistics or info on where i can find how likely it is for someone to cheat if their parent has.
2006-10-29 15:08:16 · 9 answers · asked by Liz 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
when you marry cousins, and/or brothers
2006-10-29 15:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by mister_bill@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As you say history repeats itself, but a lot depends on how your boyfriend feels about his father and his behavior? Did his dad do this while he was at an age that he watched it going on, or did he just hear about it? Did his mother accept it? Basically I mean is she still with his dad? I wouldn't say it is hereditary, because it's not in your genes to cheat, that is something you learn or are taught. how long have you been dating? Date him for a few years and get to know the real him before you consider marriage, any doubts or concerns should be long gone before you say I do.
2006-10-30 00:01:46 · answer #2 · answered by luluhinalbwi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes its been proven that is genetics if one of the parents cheats the chances are high that the child will cheat the same way the father or mother did. Sad but true
2006-10-29 23:12:26 · answer #3 · answered by Sofia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard people "say" that it runs in families, but that is just a bunch of hog wash! It is a personal choice, and that's all it is, okay? If an entire generation cheats, it's "still" a personal choice, decision, or whatever you want to call it. A parent can teach their child that it's okay to cheat. But when that child grows up, it's up to him or her if they want to be like their parent..it's a choice "they" make, not their parent.
2006-10-30 00:41:53 · answer #4 · answered by Republican!!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im gonna have to say no because that is a thing of personal choice mostly due to your environment...ie: the friends that the person makes and his/her own values. For example, if your husband hated that his father cheated on his mother, he might say to himself, Id never do that to my wife...however...if your husband's coworkers are mostly single men and single women and he spends most of his time around these people, talking with them about their various affairs, etc., and they seem to accept such lifestyle, it's very likely that the thing that he claims he wouldnt do...an opportunity might present itself in his workplace no doubt, or in the places he goes with his coworkers, friends.
Married couples should hold to their values and pick and choose their environment/friends so theyre not exposed to becoming accepting of that type of infidelity that others do.
Take care of who you hang with. Bottom line.
2006-10-29 23:30:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U pick up things around u. Cheating is also one such habit. It is also true that people who live with cheats, develop a sense of hatred towards them and their habit and tend to be aggressively against such bad habits. In the process they may appear to be queer,
2006-10-29 23:13:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends. yes upbringing can have a lot to do with it. whether it is that they think it's ok or whether they think it's wrong and wont ever do that to their partner. i am not sure if it's genetic. the thing you have to gauge it on is whether or not he has ever cheated on you, lied to you about something, changed his story, or perhaps openly talked about cheating on a past girlfriend. i am a strong believer in once a cheater always a cheater. but try and not base your opinion on him on what his father has done.
but on that same token a roommate of mine once told me "the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree" - and in my case ... she was right.
2006-10-29 23:21:21 · answer #7 · answered by toshoa76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
weel he obviously told you more than you needed to hear, probably because he wanted to share something about his past, and now you'r twisting it into something totally different. every person is different, perhaps one of your parents was a racist pig who hurt people...does that mean you will too? grow up or let him go.
2006-10-29 23:13:31 · answer #8 · answered by xepov 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a person does this because that person lacks morals . in his or her way just because his dad was a jerk dont mean he has to follow his footsteps. a person dont have to follow this they do it because they want to so dont judge him by his fathers actions in my opion?
2006-10-29 23:19:26 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋