I was molested @ 11 yrs old by my 17 yr old boy stepcuzin. We use 2 play house w/ my sis, 9, my bro, 7, and his sis, 5. I thought nothing of it. I was mom n he was dad. He always wanted da others to play outside n play while he n I stayed n da house. He would lay on top of me n we would grind. I thought it was normal. All kids do it. But then he wanted 2 go further n take off our clothes. I didn't want 2 do dat. He would try 2 bribe me things but I protested. After dat incident, I wouldn't play house anymore. It went on 4 2 years (sex attempts )before I told someone. My parents confronted him n he was not to come around me but that was it. No one mention it again. I am 30 n married w/ no sex drive. I no it's bcause of my past. My cousin took my innocence and I don't no how 2 b a good lover 2 my husband. I do what's necessary 2 please my husband. In the beginning I feel some tingling @ first but then nothing. alot of times I don't want to do it at all. What's wrong w/ me?!
2006-10-29 14:50:18 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I shorten (abbreviated and slang) words so that I can give more detail. I am very good at grammer, thank you. If you are so good in grammer it shouldn't be hard to understand. Serious answers only PLEASE!!! This is not
2006-10-29 15:54:08 · update #1
ENGLISH 101
2006-10-29 15:54:42 · update #2
You know, I almost want to take this whole question as a joke. Honestly, what kind of 30 year old speaks or types like this??? Dis and dat and da..... Boggles me.
Anyway, if this is a serious question, and you admitted that you have no sex drive because of your past ("I am 30 n married w/ no sex drive. I no it's bcause of my past."); and ofcourse, I'm assuming that by you saying "I no it's..." the no means know, you should speak with a therapist about it to help you resolve your issues. So to answer your question, yes there is something wrong with you and it was due to the fact that your cousin may have cheated you out of a good childhood and possibly a good marriage and sex life. So please see someone about this.
2006-10-29 14:59:13 · answer #1 · answered by 00jag 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are being honest about your past experience and are not some male adult just posting garbage to get weird sexual gratification (and I am serious about this), the first step for you is to have a long heart-to-heart with your husband.
If he loves you, he will ponder on this with you and together you will conjur the right answer. Love conquers all things.
Secondly, I would pray incessantly to your Creator because he knows all things, everything, and in doing so, the answer should become quite clear to you. It may be that a doctor, a specialist in these type of matters would be encouraged; something that both you and your husband could participate in according to the doctor's instruction and recommendations.
The first thing is sitting your husband down and letting him know the problem and asking for his understanding. In time you will be able to beat this but everyone must have patience. Again, love is the true key to happiness and the foundation of keeping your marriage healthy and happy.
I hope this has helped.
2006-10-29 14:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by KimIsland 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets begin by what happen when you were young and innocent was normal between children who are exploring each others bodies. Some where in your up bringing, you were made to feel sex is dirty.
Well it is not dirty. It is a normal process and more so with your husband. I would suggest a sex therapist and get down to the root of your poblem. If you can't afford one, Just make love and enjoy this beautiful pleasure. Your mate will love it and respond in kind + more. Get a baby sitter and surprise your husband by taking him out for a week end for love making and more love making. Do limit your breaks to 15 minutes.
2006-10-29 15:01:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear you went through that. It sounds like you need to deal with the past, go to a counselor. Counseling will help you get it all out there, and find a way to let it go and heal. You can then go onto marriage counseling, so your husband can understand you and the things you have gone through. You say your past isn't effecting you, but honestly - the fact you explained all you went through says it is... sex should be a huge part of a healthy marriage. It's not your fault you went through what you did, it's just up to you to help yourself move past it. Stay strong, I wish you the best.
2006-10-29 15:03:16 · answer #4 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is hope foryou. There are feelings of anger, guilt, shame, fear, disgust that come with being abused and it is necessary to discuss it in therarpy. If you don't you can't get past it. It will not be easy but it will give you a chance to develop a new healthier attitude towards sex. Your body and mind will slowly become more welcoming to it. Please seek help. You deserve to take back what your cousing stole from you.
2006-10-29 14:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by TrueSoul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first question is does your husband know about this? If he doesn't then you should tell him that this is bothering you. If he does know, I would tell him that you want to seek professional help with a sex doctor. Work it out together. I think that if you involve him in the matter it will bring you both closer. Good Luck and sorry about your past.
2006-10-29 14:56:55 · answer #6 · answered by silly00sally 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you get married with no sex drive? Did you have a sex drive when you first got married and now it's gone down and you think it's from your past?
You gotta let the past go, think to yourself you are not going to let your cousin ruin your marriage.
2006-10-29 14:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may have something to do with your past or it maybe that you just hit a rut in your sex life. If it is presistent you may want to seek a therapist. Other wise get a few good toys and dirty movies and you husband will love it!
2006-10-29 14:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by maddiesmom982001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, not to be rude but to answer it directly yes there is something wrong there. im not sure that yahoo is the best place to be getting answers from i would advise that you see a therpist on this one. my friend went through the same thing when she was little and to this day she still has problems with relationships because of it. a therpist would be able to help you farther on you road to recovery
2006-10-29 14:55:53 · answer #9 · answered by stormieshilo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get some therapy, seriously, and work it out with yourself and doctor, i bet alot of people have this problem, but get over it after therapy. good luck! by the way it was hard to read your question from your grammer.
2006-10-29 14:55:07 · answer #10 · answered by norbet8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋