I'm a female to male transsexual. I'm very proud of the fact that I AM a trans person. I'm also a college student. Here's the dilemma. I am trying to apply for some glbt and trans scholarships, and one of them says I have to be open about my transgender status on campus and have to show that I'm making a contribution to promote transgender awareness. However, every time that I've clued someone in on my trans status, I start to get looked upon in a different light. They see me for what I USED to be, instead of what I NOW am. Is there a way to get past this? I've worked too hard and spent too much time, energy, tears, and money to still be seen as a female.
2006-10-29 14:20:49 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
get to know the people first let them know you as the male you are before letting them in on the secret. being open to me is admitting you are trans if someone asks. i myself do now go around letting people know i was born a male however if im asked i will say that im a transsexual but by that point they know me as the female i am.
be proud of who you are but at the same time dont forget who you were. that sa part of you and if you lock the past away ytour still not being true to yourself. just my opinion
2006-10-29 14:25:56 · answer #1 · answered by KellyJeanne 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I sure wish that I had an answer for you, but the truth is that you can't change other people. Some are really good about accepting people for who they are in the present, but many are not - and that goes way beyond gender as you know.
I know that I have it a million times easier, and it is tough dealing with plain vanilla homophobia. Hopefully someone else here will have better advice, but mine would be to decide which is more important to you - people knowing you're trans or people accepting you as male. As far as society in general goes, I'm not sure that you will find many who can *readily* do both. That's today. The future will get better.
PS - as shyboy says, you've already accomplished much. Be proud of who you are and what you've done. Do what's necessary to get the best education that you can get since it is a leg up in the world. From there, pffft, the world is yours to make as you will, it's a great adventure.
2006-10-29 22:40:21 · answer #2 · answered by Alex62 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some groups really want to promote the idea that being trans is not a bad thing. I think that's very important, but I don't think that everyone is called, or up to that task.
As transgendered people, we naturally want to be seen for who we are, and not for who we were. Being MTF, I enjoy being a woman, but where I live, most everyone knows the past me. Sometimes it's really sad, and I can. if I let myself, get really depressed. The fact is that I was born a boy (at least physically).
Being older, and not having had the opportunity to live my early life the way I wanted to, I'm quite open about being trans. I've had some heartache because of it, but I think it's important for me to show that we're not all fetishistic nuts. Some people hate me, and some really like me. That's their chocie. In any case, my reasoning is that the more people who know me, and know I'm trans, an know who I am.... maybe they'll just start to think about their positions.
As far as you, I don't think you should feel any pressure to be a trans-activist. If you wish to, I'm glad for you, but the point of living life isn't the same for everyone. If we're all working to get us all accepted, who's actually going to LIVE LIFE? Maybe your time will come to be more active later.... I don't think it really matters.
Please enjoy your life while you're young. Don't take the weight of the world on your shoulders until you're ready. Until you are, avoid the scholarships that require you to be out.
--Dee
2006-10-29 22:44:48 · answer #3 · answered by Deirdre H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is a tuff question. i don't know how long you've been on this site. but you will see alot of nasty remarks from people that aren't open to lgbt. I'm sure a majority of it is because its non-confrontational. i think your going to run into the judgment and ridicule.your going to have to grow some real thick skin and use negative as a positive. let the trash remarks be your motivation to ex cell in life. hopefully you will find someone else in your shoes to help support each other. get that grant which you will have to work for and be done with school asap. your starting a great journey. life. you've accomplished alot already. best of luck.
2006-10-29 22:37:37 · answer #4 · answered by shyboy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think letting them get to know you first might help. Unfortunately from what I've heard that's a common stereotype for transmen. I wish you the best. And thank you for being out to people and helping make the transgender community more visible and accepted.
2006-10-30 05:11:49 · answer #5 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I understand your points made. The real decision here is to decide how important is the scholarship. If it is going to compromise how you want to live, then it is not worth it.
2006-10-30 02:00:06 · answer #6 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
short and sweet, you gender is not who you are it's what you are, the core person is still the same and they need to get over it
2006-10-29 23:01:23 · answer #7 · answered by michael m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know, when they start looking at you askew, beat them up like a man. put them in a headlock or something. that will convince them!
2006-10-29 23:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋