We have lost respect for eachother , and we are becoming hateful and biter- What a waste of an eternal love...
2006-10-29 13:58:51 · 18 answers · asked by pinkrock 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Counseling. Seriously.
2006-10-29 14:04:07 · answer #1 · answered by WJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are children in the picture, is someone career minded and putting it before everything else? Are you a stay at home mom?
This is my story, I use to work 10-12hr days with a 1-1.5hr commute each way and then I was call. You know supporting one of those big law enforcement agency's. Well my wife grew apart and we were very bitter and spite full towards each other.
Communication was the key and needless to say we relocated and now I work regular hours and have a 1mil commute. Once we were here she went to school and is going back into the workplace and is very excited. She's going through an awaking of sorts and finding her identity.
Its been a bit troublesome at times, but communication is the key. These last few weeks have been better then the last four years and I think its a beautiful start.
Talk to him, schedule time for just the two of you to CALMLY hash out any issues. Remember this is your marriage and your with this person forever so you need to figure out if this is still the person you want to be with.
Best of luck to you.
2006-10-29 15:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by Jeff 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What has changed? What is different than the way you were when you fell in love? It isn't just "him" and it isn't just "you". Have you both just grown up a little? Become too involved in work, children, activities outside married life?
What used to be fun? What did the two of you most enjoy doing when you were falling in love? How did you look then compared to how you look now? How did he look then compared to now?
You might stop looking at the problems and look for some changes. Do something fun together, something to guarantee a good laugh. Look at what he DOES instead of what he does not do. Thank him with a sincere hug and kiss when he pleases you and stop pouting or saying "If you loved me....." when he does something that displeases you.
I would also suggest that both of you let the other be who they are. Don't try to tell each other what they should want, what they should spend your time on, what they should say and how they should act. Just let go and let each other be the person each of you really are. Just because you love each other never means you can "own" each other, or control each other, or (heaven forbid) change each other.
Good luck and God bless.
2006-10-29 14:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships go through stages and it is hard when the romantic warm fuzzies fizzle. It takes work from both of you to keep it up. TALK to your husband and make him talk to you. Communication is the key. Of course this other guy makes you feel good, the ego boost of being seen as desirable is always great. The thrill of the hunt, the excitement of the forbidden, and the high of the conquest, these are things programed into our psyches and release endorphins in our brains. But these are just the beginning stages of a relationship and its the day to day little things that keep it going. It is not going to be a romantic fantasy moment all the time, that's not realistic but neither should it fizzle out and die. Tell your husband how you feel but know men are just wired different and some just don't get it. Go through a picture album together and remember when, to help rekindle the spark. Make sure to set aside time for just the two of you every week. Not necessarily for sex but just for together adult time. You both will have to work at it and it won't have the same thrill as the office man even if you have decided to be just friends. It is just so easy to let the responsibility of mortgage, job and kids win out and neglect the reason for all that stuff, the two of you and the future you wanted. Good luck.
2016-03-19 01:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to bring back some of those special moments that made you two fall in love in the first place.Try to forgive each other and comment to a new ,fresh start! Let the past go! Go the extra mile for the relationship, like it was in the beginning. Devote quality time to each other and don't let anything get in the way of the quality time! Show each other that nothing in the world comes before him or her. Let go of all outside personnel that stands to rip your marriage apart. Look into each others eyes and tell each other[ at last once a month] that you love them, and really mean it! Don't cheat!! and Good luck !!
2006-10-29 14:19:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you are going to have to work at it. You and your husband have to want to stop being miserable and start being happy...together. Try focussing on what brought you together in the first place. There must be some continuing appreciation for what each of you has to offer. You've allowed too much negative into the relationship and it has overpowered all of the positive. Why did he used to respect you? Why did you used to respect him? Get back to the basic reason for your deciding to spend a life together and emphasize that. Remember how it was? Maybe it can't be as exciting, but it can be as rewarding. Get going!
2006-10-29 14:13:49 · answer #6 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been married? What did you both do in the beginning that made you fall in love with each other in the first place? Try to go back to that. Sometimes being reminded of why you fell in love will make you fall in love again.
2006-10-29 14:02:55 · answer #7 · answered by Desperate for Answers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stroke his ego on a regular basis. Tell him he's the best lover in the world. Your day is filled with missing him. Tell him to duck his head when he comes in the door - cuz in your eyes he's 10 feet tall. Welcome him home in such a way that he will look forward to coming home to be with you. Wear make up and keep yourself neat and pretty - believe me, there are girls out there who will do all the above for him. These things make a man fall in and stay in love with you. And honey, laugh and smile a lot. Anything can be made better with a sense of humor. Good luck - invite me to your Golden Anniversary party!!!
2006-10-29 14:14:11 · answer #8 · answered by sandyoak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW that is sad! lol! (tear) but ummmm you cant really make someone just fall right back in love with you.... but you could try like going to a marriage counceling or something!
2006-10-29 14:00:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried counseling?
Can you guys agree to put the past behind you and carry no gripes and re-start with a fresh slate?
If so you can turn this around if you both want to.
2006-10-30 05:14:51 · answer #10 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋