What am I suppose to do?

Question

When I was younger, I had such a bright and outgoing personality. I was cheerful, sweet, ready to take on just about anything. Now (a few years later), I have changed for the worst. I am shy, very very low in confidence, like to keep to myself and don't even communicate with my friends that often anymore. The more I am pressured by my boyfriend to do something, the more I shy myself away from everything. I feel pressured so much, I don't even know what to do in my life anymore (I don't know what I want to become anymore as far as profession). I do not like the person I have become and I don't know how to get back that person I used to be. It hurts me a lot, I don't even know what to do with my life anymore. What am I suppose to do?

Answer 1

One particular sentence jumped out at me and said... BINGO! You stated that the more you are pressured by your boyfriend to do something, the more you shy away from everything. Perhaps he is not a positive influence in your life.

Sometimes we, as women, tend to live our lives for the ones we love rather than for ourselves. Doing so drains us of our self confidence, self respect and ultimately our happiness. We define ourselves based on the opinions, comments, attitudes, etc. of our significant others. This is not necessarily wrong, but we lose track of who we are and where we want to be. It is more important to us to do all and be all for the men in our lives than to follow our own paths. We care for them so much that we perceive ourselves "unworthy" without them. (Guilty as charged!)

As far as having professional goals at your age, please don't let that get you down. I wasted (no, let's say "spent") three years pursuing a medical degree in college, only to learn that I was better suited to business administration later in life. The time I "spent" was an invaluable learning experience. Now, one of my female co-workers is 49 years old and pursuing a new field of study. Trust me, you have time.

Here is a bit of advice. Take some time off. Get away from your daily routine and enjoy a day or two alone with your thoughts. If that is totally boring and simply out of the question, then try this. Think back to what made you happy, cheerful and sweet in the past. Was it a certain person, place or activity? If so, then go to that place with that person and do what you used to do...just for a day. Spend time learning about YOU without the influence of those who are the source of pressures you face every day. You may find that the person you once were is alive and well, just being held down by the weight of the world on your shoulders.

This message is not intended as an excuse for you to shirk your responsibilities. Just set them aside temporarily so that you can make some important decisions in your life, then come back, dig in and make it happen. Take care.

Answer 2

Can one lose one's way in life? Sure! What are you going to do about it?

Just filled with so much unearned unhappiness and misery, and if you can't manipulate your boy friend or others your self professed guilt 'pressure' factor kicks in making you shy and reclusive.

I am sure, you do not like the person you are because you can precisely see what kind of person you are. It is obvious you don't communicate - it is called being selfish. And the only pressure you actually feel is also - self imposed.

This reminds me of the radio show, sorry won't give name, where everyday the shows theme song decries a whole new attitude - when everyone around realizes that it is the self same selfish "b****" underneat.

Ah the rewards...the misery of unearned unhappiness will do it everytime. If this sounds to critical, it is not meant to be, truthfully I am trying to understand and help at the same time, if you want happiness - put your head there - the body will follow.


And, I also suggest, time for you to realize that there is never a means to go back, anywhere, any time or any place. But, you can pay back all the people wronged by deciding to be a better person and then doing it.

Answer 3

You know what? I've gone through this... a couple of times. From what you've said, it sounds like you have symptoms of depression. I'd really recommend talking to a health professional, ie your doctor, or a clinic. Such a person can also take your history to make the most accurate diagnosis, and hopefully, you'll begin to recover.

Please understand that you don't HAVE to feel like this, you didn't ask to, and you don't deserve to feel like this. Please know that relief is possible and available, if you only seek it out. My new motto (as of today!) is: "seeking help is not a sign of weakness, it's to help you regain your strength" (Albino Lemon (c) 2006).

Best of luck!

P.S. I have found relief from my depression both times and each has involved medication. My experiences with meds have helped me very much, but each individual is different and we each have different needs. Your doctor or health professional will be your best sources for information.

Answer 4

First of all I would like to say that you are not alone. I have been there, like many others.

Sounds like a classic case of depression setting in. I strongly recommend you seek counseling. From there the therapist can figure out whether or not you need meds. or just some one-on-one time with them to help you de-code your under lying issues, or a mixture of both.

In my opinion, I would like to say that depression medications are for sever to moderate cases and I wouldn't use them alone. Clinics are so quick to just give you a prescription and leave you thinking it is a cure all. Personally, I feel that depression medications only cover up the the issues and do not deal with the real problems. I believe with proper counseling and a balance of medications you can get out of your slump and back to normal within months

Hang in there! You can get through this!

Answer 5

do you know what incident made you this way? do some soul-searching and reconcile with that situation. then, relax and dont think about your future yet. take a long vacation with your bf.for abt 2 months or so. if he declines, he is not the one for you. dump him and go. even if it means visiting a relative in a different country. leave behind all your worries, you future plans etc. really od all the things you havent done so far. when you come back you will be really refreshed to start afresh with a new course in an entirely new subject. or a new job. or a home makeover. and try to be around people who always encourage you in life.

Answer 6

well hunny i would first tell your boyfriend to get lost if he cant respect that your just not ready yet. that means that is all he is out for. Also i would say you should talk to a Doctor because it sounds like your are having symptoms of depression and let me tell u now to get it under control because it wont get better on its own. and it sounds like to me you boyfriend has a lot to do with the problem. and as far as your friends go lean on them for help they will help you through it.

Answer 7

you're still bright. you just need to find something you love doing. it doesn't have to be something you're good at because if it's something you really love you'll get better which will rais your self esteeme because you know you are good at something you like. as for keeping to your self, i'm the same way. i like it myself, but if you don't like the quiet you can get a roommate. if you feel like you're being pressured into doingsomething you don't want to do you shouldn't be around those people. you need to find people who accept you for you.

Answer 8

Have you ever prayed to GOD ALMIGHTY? He's bigger than you or I , he can fight your battles if you keep still , ask him what shall you do , talk to him just like you asked yahoo about your situation only he can answer ,trust in him , you must obey . pick up your Bible and go to the glossary and look up the key word of your problem and read that scripture , continue to read your Bible everyday. it give you answers .

Answer 9

You need to see your Physician, sounds a lot like clinical depression to me. Good Luck.