my husband slept with my cousin...but its ok....and now i dont want to sleep with him...but yes my mind is with someone....what can i do....and just cuz of that my husband told me that i am committing a sin...so plz help me..and tell me if he is rt or wron...
2006-10-29 13:53:47 · 43 answers · asked by sweet me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, he's wrong, a sin was committed, but it was him, not you. You have the right to say NO to anyone, including your husband. And why do you say "but it's ok" if you're upset enough not to want to sleep with him? It's NOT ok...... and you are right to be upset with him. He's trying to make you feel guilty, don't let him. HE's the guilty one and he knows it. If you want to stay with him, I would suggest counselling, because he seems to think he can do this and then shift blame. A person who cheats once is very likely to do it again.
2006-10-29 14:00:36 · answer #1 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In Gods eyes! Your talking about sin right? So this is where your focus should be, correct? Does God think this is bad or good? When Christ met the woman at the well, and she told him she was drawing H2O for her husband, Christ said you have multiple husbands. Big revelation, Not! God knew she had been with more than one man. So in Gods eyes, if you have sex with a person you are married to that person, correct? Your husband slept with your cousin! Whose he married to? Your apprehension is not a character flaw, but that little voice we call the Holy Spirit. Or Conscience as the secular world calls Him. Get this marriage ended. Start anew. By the way, stick it to the two timing @%$#&! I find that Hyper religious men are some of the largest hypocrites in the world. Not all, but most. To tell you that you are sinning because you won't sleep with him is the biggest hypocracy of them all. If you did sleep with him, he would turn that around and use it against you. It's time to think for yourself now. What does your heart tell you? Is it screaming in pain from his infidelity, or is it longing for reconciliation? No, it's not! Dump the bum! Let this lesson he is to learn cost him his wife, house, kids, and honor!
2006-10-29 14:12:59 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT okay he slept with your cousin. It sounds to me like he screwed up and it now making YOU pay for it with some mind games. He committed the sin first, breaking the vows of your marriage (unless you just handed your cousin over to him and told him to go at it with your blessings). You don't have to sleep with him if it makes you feel sick or uncomfortable - that is a privilege for him and HE screwed up. If you have thoughts about someone else, perhaps this marriage isn't going to work out or you should seperate in the meantime. As for sin and all that, I wouldn't base too many of your decisions on what he says or even what the bible says. Just do what you think is right even if that means divorce- you deserve better.
2006-10-29 14:00:38 · answer #3 · answered by Michaela 4120 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sweety ur are in the right but dont commit adultry leave ur husband and go for the other person. ur husband has no right to tell u its sin in the fist place because he just did "my husband slept with my cousin" and secondly its never "ok" to put up with that im sure u can do alot better there are so many men out there go be free until u find someone that treats u with enough respect than to go sleeping around with ur family. so to answer ur question he is WRONG
2006-10-29 13:59:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mind is with someone else you have already committed a sin against your husband in your heart. Your husband committed a sin against you for sleeping with his cousin. If I were you, I would seek counseling right away. The fact that your husband slept with your cousin means your marriage is in big trouble. Your unforgiveness toward your husband is the sin you are committing by not sleeping with him.
2006-10-29 14:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by TheDoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I am gonna be hated here but the short answer to your question is yes, he is right.
The long answer is this. It sounds as if you have forgiven him for his sin--if this is the case, the Bible says to remember the sin no more so it should be as if he never sinned--this is very difficult. The Bible also says, contrary to popular belief, that husbands and wives are not to deny due rights to their spouses except for the time of purification of a woman's period. The Bible also says that women that are married to sinning husbands are to win them to God through their love, gentleness and righteousness.
I believe your husband is, at the most, an absolute idiot and pig and, at the least, a truly confused man. If you intend to continue the marriage, then you must seek christian counseling, since it is the Bible he is trying to use against you. A good christian counselor will teach him that he is to love you as God loves him--this means he is to give his life for you. If he can not do this, he is not worth your time.
Good luck and God bless you in this.
2006-10-29 14:07:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually your husband committed the sin by cheating on you. He is compounding this transgression by trying to make it seem that you are the one who is the sinner. This guy is twisting the situation to suit his selfish philandering ways. Now he is bullying you into his controlling domineering submission. Don't buy into anymore of his deceit or guilt. You are not the blame for not wanting to be intimate with him. How could you be close to him after what he did to you? There is nothing remotely "RIGHT" about what he is saying or doing to you. In fact he is one hundred percent WRONG! He slept with your cousin and that is NOT OK !
2006-10-29 20:26:18 · answer #7 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a Bible thumping fundamentalist Christian, then YES you are committing a terrible crime. You must sleep with your husband, it is your Christian role as a female. You may further be damned because of your lack of forgiveness because he slept with your cousin (was the cousin male or female).
If you are sort of a normal type human, you are not sinning, but if you don't really forgive him, then do the right thing and separate and get on with your own lives. By saying you have forgiven, but cutting off sex, then he has little choice but to find another companion.
2006-10-29 14:00:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems like he has a double standard. The 'Golden Rule' says to treat others the way we want to be treated. Is that how he treated you? No! Seems like he's got brass balls instead of a golden rule. It's BS. He sleeps with your cousin, but he's going to pass judgment on you? The Bible says 'judge not'. He's got a lot of nerve. We are all human. None of us are perfect. Under any circumstance, your are under no obligation to sleep with anyone, and especially if he is going to try to be controlling. If I were you, I wouldn't give him the time of day until he realizes that he is the one who needs to acknowledge a few sins here.
Sure, there are those biblical know-it-alls who will tell you that you are obligated in accordance to their interpretation of the Bible. However, these interpretations are vast and all over the map. I find it interesting how people manage to spin religion and the Bible to their advantageous point of view. Jokers like this share your husbands superior attitude and ability of rationalizing the correctness of their position. Don't you deserve better?
2006-10-29 14:34:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, you are concerned with thre whole sin aspect, but he slept with your cousin, an that is ok?? What the heck??? The sinner is him,a nd you are definately making a big mistake by just staying with the dirt bag. if he can manipulate you into thinking that it's ok for him to sleep with her, and then make you think that you are in the wromg by not wanting to touch the swine. You need to get out of that hell hole, and move on. get as far away from him as you can, and start over. Good luck, and God bless
2006-10-29 14:01:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋