After my parents got divorced my dad took off (maybe a year after) I didn't talk to him for 5 years and then we reunited...then we lost touch again for another 4 years. In that time I married and have 2 kids that he never met til now. Whenever we try to meet, he has to take his wife with him (which is FINE with me) but, he won't plan on any days that she isn't available. My issue is, he has now met both my kids. the other day he wanted to get together adn I said sure I can meet up with him after I get my daughter from preschool. He said..oh, I just wanted it to be us. I think thats kind of mean. He hasn't had a relationship with me in years and has only met my kids once. I don't understand why he would want it to be just me and him (and his wife, who he calls his "shadow") I feel like saying...well my kids are MY shadow! Am I being too sensitive?
2006-10-29 12:36:13 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
your right, hes wrong. your kids are first priority over anyone else even him. this "just us" thing came a day late and a dollar short.
2006-10-29 12:40:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No can make you feel a certain way unless you allow them to. So, if you feel you are being too sensitive in this, then you probably are.
It sounds to me like he's just uncomfortable with you because he doesn't know you very well and his wife is his "security blanket" in awkward situations. Go ahead and plan the time with him, his wife and your kids and your spouse. Then when the time is right, ask your father to step outside with you alone and use that time to talk to him. A few moments alone away from the crowd might help to ease his tensions he's feeling and before you part company, set up a time to meet again and this time, let him know that as much as you enjoyed being with everyone, you would really like some one on one time with him, just the two of you.
Good luck.
2006-10-29 12:54:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids are a lot closer to you than he has been the last several years. Either he meets you with your kids, or not at all. Not much of a grandpa if you ask me! I couldn't imagine such a thing with my daughter, and her kids.
2006-10-29 12:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! I think I would ask him straight out whats the game.you have moved on with your life in your spouse and kids if he was trying to build a relationship he would involve hiself with the whole family not just you and his new spouse .I would cut my loses and continue to devote my interest on my own family now.
2006-10-29 12:41:41 · answer #4 · answered by Ethel T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are his grand kids, whats he on about, i thought he would be happy to see them...honestly have a good word with him, after all he is your father but it shouldnt be that way...he should even consider himself lucky that you've kept contact with him.
2006-10-29 12:43:30 · answer #5 · answered by *LuckyStar* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have serious talk with dad and tell him how you feel. If he still continues to only want you, then I would withdraw communication. My family comes first.
2006-10-29 12:38:19 · answer #6 · answered by Gloria H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your children are number one.Tell him unless it is something he can not say in front of youre daughter let you know and you will make arangments.Maybe he feeels he needs to know you better to know them. or maybe hes gonna say surpeised we are married. good luck but dont leave her behind its not her fault hes a jerk
2006-10-29 12:40:05 · answer #7 · answered by furby_lost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
am sorry to say this but its plain fact...ur dad doesnt seem to care much for u...he takes his life above all...so be it ...u know wat to do next....u r a parent urself
hav a peaceful life with ur loved ones ,& dont go for stale relations they just make things more sour....leave it behind with respect
best wishes
2006-10-29 12:54:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're kids come first, not your father let him know that he was not there for you as a child but you are there for your kids.
2006-10-29 12:48:34 · answer #9 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋