Last week I inherited a very LARGE sum of money from my deceased grandmother: 2.9 million to be precise..?

Question

My parents have known since the day I received a call from her state appointed lawyer, but I haven't told my boyfriend yet. I am madly in love with him and we've been together for almost 2 years. We are both in our early twenties. Even though I can see myself married to him, and often dream about it, I am extremely anxious about telling him about this just yet. How can the money affect our relationship? Will it impact his love for me by virtue of securing his future? PLEASE HELP!! Any advice is welcome. Thank you very much :)

Answer 1

Personally I'd not tell him, put the money in the bank, invest it. You'll have it to fall back on for whatever you need, wedding, house...whatever. I think that this would change things.

Answer 2

Believe it or not, I'm in a very similar situation. My father passed away two months ago and the sudden change in my financial status was overwhelming, to say the least.

I've been dating a fellow for ten years, and for the first few weeks, he was cold and distant, always making little remarks about how now I'd be having dozens of other fellows ringing me up and wanting to marry me for my money (he, however, has NO desire to marry me, but he doesn't want to lose me either, according to him).

We're starting to get back to *normal*, but I have a strong sense that there are going to be some MAJOR bumps in the road. I've known for many years now that we have very different ideas about finances and how and where to spend disposable income, and I'm concerned those issues will come to the forefront over the next few months.

My advice is to see a Certified Financial Planner and invest the money according to his/her suggestions (I would consider placing 1/3 in mutual funds, 1/3 in tax free municipal bonds and 1/3 in a money market account for the time being). Avoid going out and making major purchases (that's what the money market account money will be for, when the time comes).

If you don't already own a home, buy a small place for yourself - if and when you get married, it will have gained equity and you can sell it and move into something more appropriate for a couple. Likewise, if you are considering a vehicle, buy something sensible and certified pre-owned. There's no sense wasting the money; do some research and see the difference between what your inheiritance would have purchased fifty years ago and what it will purchase today - and then give some thought as to what it will purchase fifty years from now. That's kind of a grim picture.

I wouldn't tell the b/f about the money just yet. Talk to the financial planner first, secure a CPA to handle your taxes, and speak with an attorney regarding the ownership of the money if and when you marry, and by all means, have a WILL executed for youself, detailing who will get your money should anything (heaven forbid, but it happens!) to you.

Feel free to email me if you need to chat with someone who's in a similar situation.

Answer 3

Well, that money is the root of evil holds true for some but not for all people. Remember that you've been on for two years without him knowing about your inheritance. That means that he has learned to love you without him knowing that he's in love with a would-be millionaire.

Don't be affected by your negative thoughts about what he would do when you two got married considering the fact that he was married to a millionaire by heir. This would only lessen your trust in him. If you are sure about your feelings for him and his feelings for you, don't have second thoughts about marrying him.

It's only the future that can tell what will become of him as your husband and just cross the bridge when you get there. To tell this early if he will even love you more just because you are a millionaire will be very unfair for him. After all, he loved you as you were without him realizing your having a big fortune more than enough for you two to have a comfortable future with each other

But this time, with a big change in your life, you will have to search your heart. Do you still feel the same way for your boyfriend now that you are a fortune heiress? If you don't, what made you change your feelings for him? Honestly, don't you think that now, you are more capable to wait for someone with the same financial status as you have? If you feel this way, your huge fortune is the reason for your heart's change. There's nothing wrong about that but remember, money can't buy you every thing, not even love.

You are very lucky to have your boyfriend who has learned to love you as you were and I just hope that he will not use to his advantage your riches when you get married. All the best.

Answer 4

Neither hubby or I have any rich relatives so we won't inherit any money. That just leaves the lottery and we have to have a dream, don't we? If we don't have a dream, how we gonna have a dream come true? ha ha (Bloody Mary sang it from South Pacific, for those who wonder what I'm on about) Anyway, if we won the lottery, I think we would buy a bungalow in the same area we live at present. I am happy where I live but, in years to come, the stairs are going to become a pain I think. The only thing is, I will have to buy the next door bungalow too and persuade my friend/neighbour to move with us. I would buy a house for our daughter or she would get our existing house if she wanted it as it has a nice garden for her dog and a ready-built hutch for her 3 ferrets, ha ha. Then, I would book first-class aeroplane seats to Australia to visit my sister. Oh yes, and hubby could retire now. I should have put that at the top of the list.

Answer 5

I wouldn't tell him, and try not to start acting like a millionaire (which would lead to NOT being a millionaire, but I digress).

Now, you want to talk to a REALLY GOOD lawyer, and think about structuring the money in a way that you don't actually own it anymore, like a trust that you are able to control, both what it does and how much of the income you get. This would keep the principal from being taken by a judgement if you rear-end someone, and make it no longer "your money" so you aren't really lying to him by not telling him, and it isn't subject to division in a divorce from him or anyone else. Get good advice.

Now, back to the BF, the right time to tell him is when he starts talking about "the future" and specifically the part of the future that deals with money. Not before, but not much after, or not at all if you don't like what his vision of the future with you includes.

One of the problems you may not have thought of with telling him is jealousy. He could get really jealous of your position, or at least intimidated by it. Keep it your secret, at least for a while.

edit: One of the answers suggested a Pre-Nup. Good advice, but know that without Full Disclosure, they can be ruled invalid.

Answer 6

Well in my opinion you shouldn't tell him and put it in a savings or us e a little here and there. The problem is the relationship is still young and you have a long way to go! things can change quickly! I think if you guys were married you should share it but the truth is that he is only a boyfriend and his decision to stay with you and marry you might be influenced by the promise of a financially stable future. On the other hand if you were married, he would have already made a commitment to you without the incentive of money. just my opinion!

Answer 7

I would tell him about the money, but I wouldn't bend over backwards to give him any of it. 2 years is NOT a long time to have been together, even though you may THINK so. Talk about it, and see if he proposes to you the next day. If he does, then you know that you need to get rid of this dude. Don't let the money change your relationship. It sounds like a lot, and it is... but being so young, I don't think it will be enough to retire on yet. Spend it wisely, buy a house, invest a little... but you need to keep living your regular life... get a job, etc. Just be smart and don't blow it on dumb things.

Answer 8

See a lawyer and a financial planner immediately. You might set up a monthly allowance and therefore you'll have some extra money to spend. Be cautious and careful wise. Enjoy it but don't abuse it. And I agree with the people who said NOT to tell your boyfriend or anyone else, though I know it's going to be difficult to remain silent because you'll want a new car and new clothes etc. Perhaps, if necessary, you could say that you inherited a 'few thousand dollars' and leave it at that for now.......

Answer 9

This is coming from a 27 year old guy,

Well if you've beeen together for about 2 years, He's probably sincere.

Here's what I'd do, I know this may seem hard, But it wouldn't to me, Cause i kno i could do this,

Just open a number of different bank accounts, Cause they are only insured to 100,000 a piece.

Keep It real down low, don't tell anybody, Then pop the question to him,

Wait unitl after you guys' are married, then tell him,

Make sure you guys invest it well, I'd buy a house for you guys and maybe some other investment real estate like a duplex or fourplex and then hire somebdy to run it

that way you"ll have forever income and a ton of cash

Answer 10

Be very careful because the sum is pretty significative>Protect yourself with a contract either you live common law or you marry him> Money can change feelings and sometimes we get involved with interested advices> Ask a financial advisor to protect the money and live your love like nothing happened> Plan something to secure yourself because the money belongs to you : you are both young and relations nowaday don't last long.
I wish you lived a beautiful love and a long commitment together>
Good luck!

Answer 11

That's quite an inheritance! Money changes people as a general rule but it doesn't have to be negatively or substantially. From the sounds of things, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. He's going to eventually find out so I don't know what good holding off on telling him would do. Telling him should provide relief from the anxiety of having to tell him. Good luck and congratulations!