How does a wife get her husband to want sex more?

Question

I am 28 and my husband is 39. I realize that this is a private matter but since none of you know me personally it doesn't bother me to ask an open question like this here. We have been married for 8 years and I have noticed that the closer to 30 I get the more I want it, and the closer to 40 he gets, the less he wants it. The only time anything can happen between us is on weekends because we both work opposite scheduals during the week. (He works nights/I work days). It seems to be that by the time the weekend comes around I have to REALLY coax him to get in the mood, then I have to do most of the work. Maybe I need to make him take vitamins or something. I don't know. lol

Answer 1

My husband is 35 and he is an animal...but then again he is Latino! He may be having circulation problems....have him get a physical to rule out any physical illnesses.

Answer 2

I don't want to discourage you, but when I was in a similar situation - nothing worked. I was married for 10 years, and gradually but surely it progressed from 3 times a week to once a month to 3 times a year to once a year. By the time he turned 45 y.o. we got divorce, because there was NOTHING that would raise that *thing* up high anymore.
The only thing I want you to remember: the problem is NOT you; the problem is his low sexual drive. And there is nothing you (or any other woman, no matter how attractive she is) can do about it.
I know it will sound harsh. But while you are still young, find a partner who will be more able to make you feel like a woman. Don't put a cross on your life.

Answer 3

Become his "secret admirer".

Write him sexy letters, but in a way that the only way he knows it's you is by your handwriting, and the odd coincidence that the name you sign them with has the same initials as yourself. You better be really sure that he sees right through it, but never ever own up to it.

Give him the fantasy of being pursued by a mystery woman. At some point, you can make fantasy dates, like an email to him at work "meet me at X motel, room YZ after work. I'll be waiting".

Don't let him notice hitting forty.

Answer 4

Sometimes, you're just around each other so much, you get bored!

Do things to put him in the mood...like when you have some free time together, run him a bubble bath and use apricot scrub on his back, men love it! Make him a dinner you never made him before. Get him first thing in the a.m. If he loves to see you naked, walk around in a thong.

Viagra is a miracle if all else fails. Believe me, you'll be VERY happy if he takes Viagra!

Answer 5

I'm actually in a similar boat with my wife, except there are only two years in age difference between the two of us. She is two years younger than I'm 39 and she is 37. But in our case, I would make love to her daily if I could (more than that if she was willing). But she doesn't act at all that interested in sex. Consequently, we can go a week to ten days without making love. I don't want to cheat but this is such a drag!

This is an interesting dilemma isn't it? If you love one another and enjoy sex with them, how do you deal with different levels of desire? If you find the right answer, please let me know!

Answer 6

Vitamens can do wonders. Girl you are reaching your prime and you are going to want it more, I went nuts when I turned 35. You need to talk to him about this so that he knows how u feel. Viagra too might do the trick you never know. Your schedules do make it hard but you need communication too. GOod luck.

Answer 7

Hi americandream,

Get some Bob's(battery operated buddies=vibrators) Otherwise set the alarm & wake up when he comes home-his favorite foods(take the next day off), welcome him in something sexy or better yet your birthday suit with Bob in hand=honey let's try something different for a change! Most men would jump at the chance-oils for massage, tasty powders, Kama Sutra-will numb you & him in all the right places, eat-able undies, handcuffs, whips, restraints omg you get the picture. http://www.sexworld.com for all kinda possibilties. Have a good day!

Answer 8

Men want to be married to a pin-up girl or a real bomb shell men are strange the want the forbidden fruit . men are extremely visual you
need to try to be the sexy gal you are and put it in overdrive. Try in general around the house to dress naughty maybe make dinner in a garterbelt, vintage rht stockings and high heels. Create warm romantic environments and tell your man you love S.E.X andyou love being naughty for him. and if he ignores you then tell him your going to have a drink at the bar and walk out dressed all hot underneath. he not only will he follow he'll ask you to do it over and over again. Thats how my wife works me over

Answer 9

Vitamins may actually be a good idea. I think that he is tired by the weekend and just doesn't have the energy for sex.

Answer 10

Vitamins might help. He could be tired too, if he works nights all week. You could also try leaving him sexy messages through the week to build up to the weekend.