She told me she was pregnant thats when everything in our relationship changed for the worse! Everything is bad, we fight, i dont trust her, and we seem to be constatly at each others throats... I woke up on the wronge side of the bed today and we fought... i helped pack all her stuff and she was on her way. She says she still wants to be with me and raise the child together but doesnt want to live with me anymore untill further notice... i am really hurt now knowing i can not touch her stomach or confort her and bring her things she needs and tend to her every need...i want to know if i feel like our love is not there any more should i just work at it and give into my feelings of doubt for the babies sake?? I am a young male that is somewhat lost in life.. i graduate college this summer hopefully and i start a intern strarting me on my carreer path.. but i have no support from her, i feel like i should give up and find a full time average joe... job but i dont want too..im losthelp
2006-10-29 11:57:25 · 12 answers · asked by Steve L 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It sounds like someone has a case of the "Mood Swings". I wouldn't be too too concerned with how she is feeling right now. She could be very confuesed and that's why it seems that she is pushing you away. I'm terrible to my poor boyfriend.. and I apologize a million times over after I realize how I have been acting.. but she cant help being moody. You just have to realize that it is nothing personal.. the comments and fights might be directed at you.. but she really doesn't mean anything by them. Just keep letting her know that you are there for her.. and she will come to her senses. I wish you the best of luck. Congrats on the baby!
2006-10-29 12:03:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question is Should you give into your feelings of doubt when you don't think the love is there. By what you stated prior to that, you are sad because you can't rub her belly, or tend to her needs. This is part of loving someone. Things are stressful right now for BOTH of you. It's not one sided. You're feeling scared of college and how you're going to provide for your child and future family. SHe's scared ... her body's changing and she's probably unsure of what the future holds for HER too.
The thing that you're sad about though ....tending to her every need, and rubbing her belly, and comforting her....proves that you DO love her. You DO want to be with her, otherwise it wouldn't hurt so much. As for your feelings of doubt, if she's given you reason to have these doubts, don't bring it up until after the baby is born. The last thing she needs right now is to have the guy she says is the father deny it. If you do deny it now, and it IS your child, you will have missed 9 months, possibly more.
Continue your college career. If this child is yours, you will need to be able to provide a life for him/her. It's difficult to do that now adays without a college education. If you need to, get a job. Life is not easy. And a child is work. It's not always fun and games. When you see that child for the first time, you will know why you sacrifice so much. Trust me on this one.
2006-10-29 20:21:36 · answer #2 · answered by Mom of 2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships r very hard but the hard part is working things. It's really easy to dump someone or leave but to work it out is what a relationship is all about. Don't quit school just cause ur having a baby cause u r going to need a good job to support ur child. As far as ur girlfriend goes, u guys need to seat down and have a long meaningful talk. U r not always going to agree with each other and their is no use in be mad at each other cause of the baby, u both made it happen. It's done now, so be happy u guys can even have kids, there's tons of people out there who can't and wished they could. Life is too........... short................ So good luck.............
2006-10-29 22:15:40 · answer #3 · answered by lilmoma4202006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a young mom myself (years ago) I can rememer being so affraid of my future and my babys dads future..
Our relationship was great.. We talked and laughed and went to partys together had our own friends aswell...
Then there was that day, that scary day when i took that test and our lives simply just feel apart..
He hated me or so i thought really.. I was mean and blamed him for this.. I cryed and yelled at him for always being with his friends now and not with me.. I was jelous after all if i were the one that was getting fat and not able to go to partys anymore why should he...
Then he would accuse me of trying to trap him said he didn't trust me that this was his. ( in his heart he really new.. just words to hurt me.) He was as scared as i was about the whole thing. He just delt with things diffrently than i did...
The point of the story is.... Don't give up... You are both young and both may feel that your lifes are over... She is hormonal.. Her body is changing everyday and for some women this can be a horriable experince others love it..
I don't want to tell you what you need to do but i would like to tell you that even though the two of you may not live together at the moment don't give up on your family... Call her twenty times a day and ask her how she is.. Ask her if she needs anything.. She will come to see that you are trying and that you truley care about what she is going threw and i bet that she will show you the same love and respect.. It is hard but if you give it all you got. At least you know you tried.
2006-10-29 20:19:23 · answer #4 · answered by Mellisa C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, do you have any reason not to trust her or are you just in shock? If she hasnt cheated then dont blame her for it, and if you THINK she cheated dont accuse until you know for sure. Even if you dont want to be with her and this is your child then dont take it out on the baby. This baby didnt ask to be brought into this world, and should have a good life regardless of what you want right now, if your not ready to be a parent then you shouldnt have laid down in the bed....you need to step up and be a man, and a honorable one at that.
2006-10-29 20:04:07 · answer #5 · answered by carla h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should graduate college because you can take care of your child in the long run. I am pregnant and we go through alot I done the same thing to my boyfriend I kicked him out and we fought and fought but in the long run everything will work out we are back together now and everything is great but you just need to let her know that you are there for her for whatever she needs no matter what and tell her you love her everyday (if you do) just let her know how special she is and if you two are meant to be together you will be but no matter what you two are connected forever
2006-10-29 20:24:17 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope my answer helps you. I grew up not knowing my dad, he left my mom because of a stupid fight and I never met him, when I was 14yo I asked my mom if my dad had ever asked to see us and she said no. Even when I grew up without him and I never really missed him I felt bad because he is my dad and I wanted to have a dad, knowing that he never looked for us made me hate it a little bit. Do you want your child grow up knowing he does not have a father? do you want another guy raise YOUR child? think about that. God knows why he send his children here to earth, maybe that baby will change your path in life, and I am sure you will find a way to support your baby and her, trust me there a harder things to do in this life. Do you have your dad? if so, think about it, and if you don't have your father, do you want the same for your own child?
2006-10-29 20:06:37 · answer #7 · answered by Lilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hormonal changes during pregnancy make a woman irritable and more easily offended, so you have to be understanding of how she feels. She's probably feeling scared and uncertain of the future at this point. Talk to her and reassure her that you will be there to support her, and give her something to look forward to. Don't let go of your career aspirations, since the harder you work at it the more likely you'll be able to get a job that will help support your future family.
2006-10-29 20:01:45 · answer #8 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get on the phone NOW, get things worked out. You both have a long rough road ahead of you. But later on when you look back, these will make the good times GREAT. You have a baby on the way (that is both of you) this is your first born, DON'T miss out on this great opportunity. Finish school, and get married, and enjoy the little one. Now i'm not your parents, but I'm telling you...........GET ON THAT PHONE AND CALL YOUR LOVED ONE(S)..................Good Luck.
2006-10-29 20:15:25 · answer #9 · answered by Speedbuggy43 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take this wrong, everyone has kids and money trouble and fights, your no different, she needs some space and you need to be a man, time to grow up, and do what is right
2006-10-29 20:07:35 · answer #10 · answered by michael m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋