Custody of five year old daughter in divorce?

Question

I have split up with my husband, and I am filing for divorce because of his verbal and occasional physical aggression towards me.

I want to know how the custody of our five year old daughter is likely to work. We both agree that I should be the primary carer, but I would like to know your experiences of how often is reasonable for my daugher to see her Dad and what worked best for you?
What is the difference between custody, residence and visitation and what is normal in cases like this?

Answer 1

i am divocred.
1. if you get joint custody, be sure your divorce order specifices, that the child primery residence is with you. this will save you headackes later.
2. visitation, be specific about the hours and days. usually everyother weekend/(or sunday
from 10am to 6pm_ now if the child will be spending the weekends be sure you give him enough cloths.
3. now if you have a shadow of doubt that he cant control his temper with your daughter, then you can demand supervised visatation
4. now if you feel comfortable that he can control his temper and you dont request supervised visitation. the you can allow his more time then every other week end or every other sunday. that would be up to your schedules.
5. one more things get child support and other financial matter setteled in your divorce. such as health insurance--he should have her covered. tution expences should be 50/50

good luck hope this helps

Answer 2

Hi,
I have been through this before so I will share what I know to be true with you.
Custody means that your daughter will live with one parent full time and that parent will be the primary caregiver to the child.
Residence is where the child will live full time and will be at the address of the parent that has Custody.
Visitation is the right that the other parent will have to see the child on the time frame that the Judge sets, like: the visiting parent may get the child every other weekend (or every weekend in some cases) and the visiting parent will have special times to pick the child up on Friday and have a special time that the child needs to be home with the Residential parent on Sunday.
I hope this helps you in some way. Good luck to you while you are going through this process.

Answer 3

Most likely you guys will be able to go to mediation to sort out structured visitation for your daughter. If you guys can agree to what you want, then theres no need to fight it out in court. However if you cant get an agreement, then it will end up in court and the judge will decide.

Usually the dad gets every second weekend, and Fathers day, half the school holidays, some time at Christmas, and Easter, you need to work it all out and have it put in the orders.

Full custody is not given in alot of instances these days, so they say residence because that's were the child is living, and of course visitation is for parent not residing with the child.

Answer 4

I'm currently going through a divorce and I have a two year old daughter. If you both agree that you are to be the parent with what they class as full custody, what usually happens is they will set up a parenting schedule, which in most cases is every other weekend and you rotate holidays, vacations, etc. In a case like this where he gets visitation, you are the parent with full physical custody, but you share what they call joint legal custody, which basically just states that he has his rights to parenting time, pays child support, etc. Most times the mother will get custody unless you have abused or neglected the child in any way, which it sounds like that's not the case with you. I hope my answer helps! And feel free to contact me if you have any questions!!

Answer 5

I know that a lot of couples do it this way: The child sees his or her father every other weekend. That didn't work for us. My son sees his dad every other weekend and also two evenings a week. This type of scenario is called visitation rights.

It all depends on how much time the father wants. Just remember that if the father is able to provide a safe and loving environment for the child, he should get as much time as he wants without being the primary caregiver, because the primary caregiver obviously gets the child most of the time. As long as it's reasonable, try to find a middle for both of you.

I was also quickly add that you should try to make the transition gradually. Don't send the child there for a whole weekend right away, do it in steps. It will be easier.
Good luck!

Answer 6

Personally I don't believe in divorce because I think it's an easy excuse for an out for two immature people! However, I think it should be on an equal basis since both had equal responsibility bringing the child into this world! I also think the judge makes the final decision based on the evidence submitted to the court. If one parent or the other has justifiable objections, the court will take that into consideration. We all know the woman gets the children in almost all circumstances based on some ridiculous assumption they are more qualified!
My opinion would be for the two adults to grow up, work out their differences, and not destroy a childs life based on their immaturity! A child lives with this scaring for life!!!

Answer 7

Could you not have learned to love this man you had a child with? Could he not have learned to love you? I'm going to tell you something, he probably did. Which is why you were married for so long and why he now doesn't know what to tell you. A man does not stay with a woman he does not love. You had all the fixings of a perfect marriage without love from your side. All you needed was some counselling. Now you uprooted your daughter who loves her father to pieces (and rightly so) to go live with some strange guy (who is NOT her father) and you wonder why she's acting up?? Don't completely ruin this kids life. If your husband loves his daughter as much as you say he will give up music to take care of her if he needs to. You want to live the single life, go ahead but you just threw away 2 of the best things in your life, you'll never get that again.

Answer 8

Things have really changed since my divorce and it also depends on which state you live in. What I know about the system, you probably will get custody of your daughter with him seeing her every other weekend and holidays will be kinda like that - every other. The courts will give you the guidelines on the visitation. I have heard that many times they try to go with joint custody. I'm sure you will be getting an attorney, they will be able to answer most of your questions. Good for you on not staying with this man, you don't deserve it.

Answer 9

Ok, think long and hard on this one. Mutual visitation is good if you have a good relationship with your ex. That way you can agree on the best times. I believe it's very important for both parents to stay very active in a child's life especially after divorce, but we all know too well it doesn't always go that way.

Money always becomes an issue after divorce, and usually the children become the "pawn." By both parents, not just one.

Determine what is the best for your child, and what's best for you. This has to be your choice and what you feel comfortable with. Good luck.

Answer 10

Each case is different, and you can't go by others, you have to weigh in everything, and from my own experiance, whatever you do, DO NOT place the child in the middle, this does nothing but harm the child. If he is a good father and truely loves his daughter, and she him, then be fair to one another for her sake. The worst possible thing either of you can do, is to make her choose between the two of you, she most likely loves you both, and this is going to be extremely stressful on her. As for how often she sees him depends on how close together you live, for myself I worked, he got off work earlier than me, so he would pick the kids up from school, and bring them to me when I got home, that way he still got to see them daily and they got to see Dad, and we shared every other weekend. You just have to do it so it works for you. Good Luck!