I am 25 and my boyfriend is 36. We have been together nearly a year. I am four months pregnant which wasnt planned and am in a serious dilemma. We were due to move in our new house in 2 weeks. It started when my boyfriend announced that he was going to a xmas party with his ex girlfriend, who he finished with a year ago. He always speaks really highly of her still and they secretly text and talk still. I felt him going to this party felt disrespectful to me and it is time to give her up and be with me seeing as we are moving in together and having a baby. I was careful how i told him this. It feels like they are going as a date there and to other people they would think they are together. When i told him this and that it upset me, he got all defensive and we have now broken up. I havent a clue if she knows about me and my boyfriend has a track record of compulsive lying. Does anyone think he is still in love with his ex and any ideas what pregnant alone me can do now? Appreciate it x
2006-10-29 11:22:04 · 24 answers · asked by alexa 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
That's fine. He is not worth wasting your time on. There comes a time when its too late to change your ways, and that time has already arrived 16 weeks ago.
Go get legal advice to make sure that he is going to pay child support.
Cut your ties with him, make sure that your affairs are in your name only, not joint.
Make sure that you are living close to people who can help you, family and friends, because you are going to need a lot of help now.
Its time for you to get serious about your life as well. What will you need to change to make things work out right for you and your child?
You still have plenty of time before your baby arrives to get ready. Find out the support services in your area who can help you prepare for your baby and especially to help out when the baby arrives.
2006-10-29 11:37:22 · answer #1 · answered by SmokeyGun 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if this isn't a "date" He obviously doesn't respect you. He should respect your feelings. If he has a record of compulsive lying why would you want to be with him? He obviously isnt serious about the situation and you need to be with family and friends right now. Another suggestion, dont go looking for another guy just yet because you feel you can't do it alone. Adding another person into the situation could result in more stress and that won't be good for you or the baby. I wish you the best of luck hun and I know pregnancy can be difficult when you are with the father.. nevermind having to go it alone. But please try not to stess out too much.. that is the WORST thing you can do. You have a baby that is going to look to you for everything, someone that is going to love you very much and need you. That should be your main focus, and again, I wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-29 11:34:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I do believe he has a serious connection with the ex. Some guys never can get the idea that it is a problem with the current gal. I have watched my best friend deal with a similar problem for 7 years now. Her guy never did give up the ex and finally the rose colored glasses fell off of my best friend's eyes. 2 kids later and in civil court it comes out the other gal is expecting. After many delays, he manipulated the system to pay as little as possible in child support! Solution? Don't depend on him for anything, not even your emotions, because he isn't reliable. When he does show support, it will be a bonus not a necessity! Circle yourself with your family and close friends! Good luck and I will be praying for you!
2006-10-29 12:05:03 · answer #3 · answered by alicia0821 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're dreaming if you think you and your compulsive liar of a boyfriend have any future. Nor does his ex-girlfriend have a future with him. This guy is just playing the field and not making any genuine commitments to anyone. He knows you're pregnant. So that's not a surprise to him. But going out on a date with your ex is not the way to behave towards a pregnant gf.
Is your name listed on the mortgage for the new house. Right now, you have to start thinking about you and the baby you're carrying.
Step one - get a lawyer and make sure he is going to make support payments for you and the baby. You can sue him for breach of promise if you want, and get support for the baby under the paternity laws.
Step two - find yourself a place to live that is close to a good daycare center, because he probably won't pay any attention to court orders and you're going to have to support yourself and your child.
Step three - quit messing around with guys before you're married.
2006-10-29 11:35:29 · answer #4 · answered by old lady 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Pregnant alone you needs to concentrate on YOU and enjoy your pregnancy & look forward to a happy, healthy baby. If he doesn't WANT to be with you then you REALLY don't need him. Tell him to go on his way with his ex or whoever else he decides to be with. I know that is REALLY hard to do but the sooner you do it the happier you will be. I was married at 19, 4 months pregnant & 21 years old when my husband left me for a "girlfriend". I begged him to come back & made mysefl miserable for a while until I realized that WE (my baby & I) were better off without him. Good luck to you!!!!
2006-10-29 14:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by dmommab@sbcglobal.net 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's a man, and has all the freedom in the world.
He knows this.
It's time for you to, as you are forced to do by circumstances, think clearly about what you will do with the rest of your life, and your child's life. You are all that he/she has right now, so you must build from there.
Take advantage of any counselling you can find for mothers-to-be, the WIC program, and any social services that advise single moms. You have time to plan, so use it.
Move on, and make your own decisions----you will probably have a great life if you plan for it, and live in reality, which means forgetting about him.
2006-10-29 11:38:53 · answer #6 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If i'm user-friendly - do no longer subject approximately it too plenty. Whats carried out in existence is complete, i'm no longer likely to moan at you tactics that's stupid to be pregnant youthful. i'm uncertain the place you stay, yet i assume in case you could locate the money for it, in basic terms make your self delicate and shop going approximately your on an popular basis existence, in all probability attempt and make new acquaintances yet i understand that's no longer as person-friendly because it sounds! You reported your Mum won't talk to you. talk to her, tell her which you are the only individual she has, she delivered you into this worldwide, which potential she can assist you in existence. attempt and play the in charge card, and according to risk you will get some help. do no longer think of you're in basic terms lost nonetheless and do something stupid. i understand a woman at my previous college who have been given pregnant whilst she became 15, and her Dad and Mum have been superb with it, it became too late to stop it, and now she is 17, rather everyone seems to be doing superb yet regrettably her boyfriend unquestionably hit her, and became compelled to go out (as i understand her mothers and fathers!), so as stupid because it sounds, attempt to no longer take it for my area your boyfriend walked out on you, even whilst rather everyone seems to be married there is not any assure you will stay at the same time continually... smile :)
2016-10-03 02:22:02 · answer #7 · answered by wichern 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, go on with your life and don't worry about it. God will look over you and your baby. He probably was trying to use you to get over her and couldn't. He loves her. I can't tell you how it feels to be pregnant alone. My boyfriend stuck by my side from the beginning to the end and we are still together. I will keep you and yours in my prayers and hope for the best.
2006-10-29 11:40:06 · answer #8 · answered by Cathy J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't even worry about him, he must be too interested in his ex girlfriend. Just go on with your life and get your stuff straight for your baby. Let him know when his child is born if he shows up then so be it if not forget it. You have other things more important to worry about now, you will have a baby depending on you. If you have family, go to them for help,or even close friends.
2006-10-29 11:28:22 · answer #9 · answered by *KySeN && gAvInS mOmMy* 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would let this man go. He apparently still has feelings for his ex. I was done this way too. I had my child and went on about my life and i am happy. I wish u and the new baby the best of luck.
2006-10-29 11:49:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋