Why do so many people have sex before getting married.?

Question

Ok I'm not a Christian or anything, infact I'm far from it, but I still want to know why do so many men sleep with women before taking their hand in marriage, and why do these women allow them to do so. For all of you who do this type of stuff may you please tell me why you do it. And please explain in detail. Thank You.

Answer 1

Well, That is a rather complicated question. First of all, I am an Indian teen, living in the United States. I am in high school, so I know of lots of my friends who have had sex, whether it was because they were really in "love" or because they were drunk, or bored. Many of them do it to rebel. Others do it because they are curious. And still others do it because they are under a lot of pressure. Whether that pressure is in the form of friends, or boy/girl friends, or whatnot. Many people just give in, and do it because they think that everyone else is doing it.

Now, not to give teens a bad name, I also know plenty who have not even kissed another person.

I think that when someone is an adult, whether they are in college, or working, they also have much of the same pressures. Pressure from society, pressure from media, and pressure from their friends. All of these tend to push people into having sex, even if they dont want to.

There is a lot of pressure on both men and women to have sex, or engage in sexual acts, and this pressure starts at a young age. While I would like to blame people for that, I find that i really cant. Society has become what it is over many years.

Answer 2

Asking people why they have sex before getting married is asking why women have children without being married. The "uniform rights and wrongs" have changed. There is a lot less romance in the world then there used to be. If you listen you may hear people just throw around "I love you", look at all the divorce in the world. Sex is and should be about, showing someone that you care for them. Everyone gets the urge at different times, and I wouldn't say that there is a right or wrong age. It's whatever is most comfortable for the person. Why should you be married to show someone that you care? Now a days it's just scary because you dont know who has a disease.. who doesn't.. what happens if you get pregnant. There are a lot of things to think about before having sex, but on the topic of sex before marriage, this is the 21st century, people feed into their desires.. worry about settling down after careers are established and so on. Marriage isn't a must anymore. Its more of a luxury.

Answer 3

I find your attitude to be very refreshing and also very sweet. I wish that my youngest son could meet a woman like you, at 20 he feels the same way.
About your question tho, in my opinion it is because in our culture it is totally acceptable so why not? I am afraid that most woman, and probably most men would not want to marry someone that they had not made love to any more than they would purchase a car that they had never driven.
Think about it this way, you are thinking of spending the rest of your life with this person, wouldn't you want to know if the two of you were sexually compatible?
Good sex is a very important part of a good marriage. Many marriages fail because of sexual dysfunction. By the same token many marriages last because the sex is just SO good. It can work either way but wouldn't you want to know?
I think that waiting until you are married to make love is a really sweet idea but I don't think it is practical in this day and age. It reminds me of arranged marriages and that sort of thing.
It is my personal belief that a woman has the right to know if she is going to be happy sexually with a man before she marries him.
I do not however believe in careless sex that seems to go on. I do not believe that sex should be part of a relationship unless there is a commitment on both sides. Sex should not be something to do for fun. There should be love involved. Anyone who has had sex without love and then tried with someone that they love, knows that there is a tremendous difference!
Take care and good luck.
Blessings
Lady T~

Answer 4

A lot of people does it in the heat of the moment. Then some people make the mistake of getting married so that they can have sex without fornicating. This is wrong to do also because when the sex goes bad, the marriage is over. Then there are some who just want to test the goods before they get married. All of this is wrong in the eyes of God. It is better to marry and then go for it. Sex is a gift to married couples.

Answer 5

With many women waiting until they are older to get married because they want to concentrate on their careers staying a virgin until marriage is not an option. People need to quit bashing each other for their lifestyles. It is really none of your's or anyone else's business if someone decides to have sex before marriage. More parents need to teach tolerance instead of trashing others.

Answer 6

well i cant answer for anyone else. but everyone has their own choices to make and some choose not to have sex before marriage and others choose they want to.
although i started having sex at 17-18 i am now 24 and engaged.
my fiance & i have a son and another one on the way due in 1 week or 2. i would have at least like to wait to have childeren, but we are happy now and wouldnt have it any other way.
men aren't always to blame whenit comes to sex, women are too, women have a choice and it's up to them to say yes or no or to go onto the pill or to even suggest a condom. it's really only the mans fault when the force them selves onto a woman.
thats just my opinion in that matter.
i dont know why i chose to start having sex at 17 but i do know that when i met my fiance i never had sex with him until i thought i was ready and i never said i love you to him for about a month or longer, he said it first and i said it back about a week later. we were both cautious with every step we took together because we both liked eachother and were ready to have a serious relationship, im glad we were smart about things because we are so happy!!!
if you decide not to have sex until marriage good on you. dont let anyone do what you dont want to always speak up......
as for me i wouldnt have life any other way..

lol
take care

Answer 7

As a hopefully unbiased opinion I would say that its because women are getting married later in life and it is unrealistic to expect a woman of say 28 to remain completely free of entanglements with men. There is so much to life and women do not need men for financial support or social acceptance anymore - so they may live as men have done for centuries before. Why is it that men have been able to take as many partners as they wished before marriage but when a woman does it it is questioned so much more?

Answer 8

Well aside from lust and the intense desire to have sex by one or both parties there are some logical considerations. Sexual incompatibility is a major cause of conflict, dissatisfaction, cheating and divorce for couples. It will be difficult if not impossible to determine that compatibility without actually engaging in sex. However on the flip side that may also be unsuccessful due to one or both partners being less than honest in expression of their desires. (IE: faking it to please the other)

Answer 9

With the way things are today morals and values have been lost so people think it is a right thing to do or are talked into it. Some think that who they are sleeping with they may marry.

Answer 10

Evidently because most human beings are cannot control their impulse reactions and unfortunately this shows we are not as far evolved from the basic animal life as we thought. Animals have sex because they don't know any better and it's instinct to breed, while we humans are supposed to know better and still act like animals.