My girlfriend is much more experienced in dating than I am, and she wants to have sex for the first time. I only came out a year ago, and since then I have only dated her. I love her so much, but I don't know what to do or how. What is she looking for?
2006-10-29 10:33:32 · 8 answers · asked by Waverly Pascale 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am ready to have sex with her, I had straight sex with my ex before I came out. Its sort of how I realized i was gay in the first place.
2006-10-29 10:48:21 · update #1
Maybe you should talk to her on what she is looking for? Then if you don't feel comfortable with it just say that you aren't comfortable yet.
I think that you will learn as you go. The first time I had sex with my partner I had not a clue what I was doing. I let her go inside of me first and learnt from that. Then I went inside of her and felt my way around and she was none the wiser. It was like it was a natural instinct and that it was so normal.
I know what you mean about the boyfriend. I was in much the similar situation as you but I never actually had sex with him. I learnt all the hetro ways and again it didn't feel right. I would have died having hetro sex I think. For me lesbian sex was easier.
2006-10-29 16:24:58 · answer #1 · answered by gretphemelger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time if you don't feel ready.
If you're ready for sex, make sure she knows that you aren't at all or at least as experienced as she is. Don't try to pretend that you are, just let her know, and she can somewhat be your mentor into the world of lesbian sex.
Otherwise, prepare by reading up on it, to give you some idea- books like Pat Califia's "Sapphistry", etc.. But don't put too much stock into that, it being the first time. Instead, just be loving, gentle, touch and kiss a lot, and follow her lead. Nothing fancy first time around. Learn what each other likes. Tickle, laugh, have fun, rather than it being a serious deal of having to get the other one off, you know?
Good luck, whether you choose to or not!
2006-10-29 18:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's one of our basic instincts. When the time comes, I'm sure you'll know what to do. Here are some basic tips though. Focus on the spot. You do know what I mean right? And be creative when focusing on this spot. Oh, short nails do come in very handy. You wouldn't wanna hurt your girl the first time around. G'luck!
2006-10-29 19:28:36 · answer #3 · answered by - iceman - 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With a question like this, its obvious that you don't need to be having sex. WAIT.
Okay, I'm editting this in light of your additional details. I wasn't trying to insult you, I just assumed you were very young. I suggest reading books. Try Katherine V. Forrest's "Curious Wine." Its a little dated, but its SO good....I probably read it 20 times as a teenager.
2006-10-29 18:35:13 · answer #4 · answered by BoardingJD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're asking about what to do in the bedroom, get to know your own body first. Experiment with different sensations in all sorts of areas and find what feels good. Odds are she's injoy being touched in many of those same places. Also, pay attention to her reactions. Pay attention to what she likes and doesn't like.
2006-10-30 06:31:32 · answer #5 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with the flow, love her just as you loved the straight man. You don't need a book to make love male/female it will come natural. Just relax, the first time you will be a little nervous.
Good Luck!
2006-10-29 19:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by Vanity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know what she is looking for then you aren't ready.
2006-10-29 18:52:04 · answer #7 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have questions, then your not ready.. tell her that you need sometime and your not sure if your ready..
sorry if that was no help at all.
2006-10-29 18:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by ocfan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋