Is it strange to be in a very healthy, happy marriage and still think of someone you knew years ago?

Question

I dated this guy 14 years ago, we had a very intense relationship, but we had to break up because we were both in the Army and he had to go to Germany and I had to come back to the states. I think about him alot and I even have pics of him, that I look at often. Is there something wrong with me? My husband is a great guy and gives me whatever I want. I also have a 10 year old son. My life is great. Except I can't get this guy out of my mind. Do I need couseling?

Answer 1

I think that you think about this guy because the relationship was not finalized by choice. You got along great with this guy and you are wondering what might it have been. I think if you were to ever see this guy again..it would resolve the curiosity

Answer 2

Ok, what is going on in your life that makes you think about the past so much? It's not unusual to think about people you have cared about in the past but if you are obsessing about him and looking at his pictures you need to get some kind of help understanding why this is happening. What was it about him that made him so special and what is it that you dont feel you are getting now in your present relationship? Constantly thinking about another man is not healthy for you or the relationship with your husband. being married and committed to someone means that each morning you wake up and recomit yourself to loving that person and choosing them above all others...even when they are sometimes boring or not as loving as we might like. Are you able to share your needs with your husband? Unless you choose to risk loosing what you have now then you need to put away the pix and start focusing less time on the ex and more time on the man who seems to love you. The choice is yours. See a counsleor if this is really troubling you. It can help tremendously to have someone listen and help you resolve your feelings.

Answer 3

if someone was part of your life how do dismiss them from your mind , its what you do about it ,I think its more to do with your youth and wondering what might have been ? its not healthy to have photos and be looking at them ,if you say you have a happy marriage and family then put the pictures away and concentrate on what you have, that person was not for you or you would not have parted company , no matter what part of the world you both ended up in .are you feeling a bit bored or down when you look at those pictures . how would you feel if your partner had photos of ex'x that he took down and looked at , think about that the next time .

Answer 4

I don't think you have a problem at all. Maybe due to your past army duties..you never really got any type of closure with this guy. Your probably thinking of what might "could" of happened with him. If you want your marriage to last your gonna have to get him out of your mind..get rid of the pictures. If you don't wanna throw them out..tuck them away somewhere so you don't have easy access to them.

Answer 5

i thinkt that you love your husband but thats not where you want to be. you love your husband and probaly dont want to hurt him but you mind is set on the other love of your life. i dont thinky uo should give every thing up because what if he's married come on its been 14 years. But try to get in connet with hima nd see if you guys feel the same way but for now i think yuo should tel yoi usband and do get consuling if you still want to be with your family and save your marrige.

Answer 6

yes if u love ur husband y would u be thinking of another guy? orjust throw out the pictures and tr not thnking about him anymore! get jiggy with it w ur husband! =D

Answer 7

yes and maybe you need to call this guy to see where he is in his life.

Answer 8

You definitely have a problem...
Perhaps counseling would help...