i year ago i had affair husband decided to stay and work things .i came home from work and found a condom wrapper the dog had probly found in the trash or laundry we dont use condomes and the ones we have used say expires in2005 and this on says exp in2010.now what would youn think.at first he says it must be yours.then he was acting real weird nice.then the next day brought up the dates he got angry and said he wished he had so i could hurt the way he had so we got in an arguement left him home wqith kids took off for 1 week as soon as i left he called everyone we new said he has only been hear for the kids the last yr and has been living a lie whole year he had been hurt to bad.why one year later was he guilty ?is this a test to see how far he can push mabe thinks i will cheat again?told everyone so he does not have to come back?now he says he does not want divorce right now.i took of wrng he hasnt had his on sience i cheated.sex btr then evr now but as soon as over he leaves watz up
2006-10-29 08:54:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he's still angry and hurt, think he is cheating on you now.he doesn't want a divorce right now because he isn't sure of this new person yet, he is keeping you just incase it doesn't work out between him and the other woman. he never got over it that you cheated on him, no he isn't testing you,he has found someone else. unfortunatly one never gets past being cheated on,there is always a consequence, a year, two years, ten years, the hurt is still there, no one ever forgets the hurt.
2006-10-29 09:07:46 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dunno-
I think he may have cheated, but the question is this, do you have any teen aged kids?
If you do it could be theirs, I have 3 sons.
And my husband went on a trip out of the country, and i found one in his pocket.
he says he didn't but I don't know for sure, so I just let it go to see what happens.
He might have someone else and has justified it becasue of what happened between the 2 of you.
My suggestion is this, Call him and meet him some where nice, eat lunch together, and try to eat near a nice hotel, something not to cheap.
try to enjoy a 3 day weekend together and sex him up an down left and right, whatever you would not try before try it now.
this is your last chance and , I hate to say this but its your fault and you have no right to expect anything, you have to kiss his A $$
and find out what you can do diffrently and if that means letting him act like the KGB then you gotta do it.
And You need to remember what you did and said to him when he realized what you did. You quite probably said some irreversible things.
But if its gonna work out at all, then you'll need some counseling.
But what they're gonna do is help you to recognize , admit and repair the true issues.
And I'll almost guarantee you already know what they are.
good luck
meg
kovasmomma@yahoo.com
2006-10-29 09:34:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anytime infidelity is introduced into a relationship, that relationship is rocked to its very foundation. It may never be the same between the two of you again. Distrust, suspicion and tension will have a way of working into the fabric of what is left of your relationship. If he did actually cheat on you, i'm sure he could have used your past infidelities to justify his actions in his own mind. The sex is often better after two people have gone through a period of thinking they will never be with each other again. My advice would be to stop trying to interpret his actions and be honest with him. Total honesty from this day forwards. It won't gurantee happiness for the two of you, but it is your only chance.
2006-10-29 09:11:27 · answer #3 · answered by valium_summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You hurt this mans pride and all he wants is to make you pay for what you have done to him.He loves you and hates you at the same time.He is fighting with himself should I stay or should I go. This man is being torn apart by your selfish actions.You destroyed your marriage when you decided to open your legs for another man.YOUR MARRIAGE IS OVER!
2006-10-29 09:28:44 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... Have you'll tried counselling? It sounds as if he is still angry and (PERHAPS) saught revenge or indulged his own curiousity. Sadly but if I were you husband and I acted like that. It would be I cheated and possibly found someone to replace you with... Hope this helps!
2006-10-29 09:00:32 · answer #5 · answered by beau0021 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your both cheaters.
And neither one of you is really going to take any blame for your actions.
Go seek counseling. May be you both can learn how to build a more steady bridge for your family.
2006-10-29 08:59:20 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's the type of man that does not want you but does not want anyone else to have you. cut him off girl if you cheated before something was wrong. maybe you need to try being alone and have no sex. with him or anyone else and really focus on what you need in your life
2006-10-29 09:44:32 · answer #7 · answered by jojo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, i have the same problem, I go home and found lots of god-dam bloody condoms in my faithful husband's jacket - he had sex with bloody prostitutes before he come to pick me up from work - you are lucky than me - I am faithful with my husband but he still cheat on me - I found vibrator sex toys in his pocket hidden under my beb
2006-10-29 09:32:29 · answer #8 · answered by Carnation 54 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'll make this short for you... you cheated first, so he did second because you did first, now he lies and says it was you to take the blame off of him
2006-10-29 08:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by Btieti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hurt don't it....what goes round come's round hunni
2006-10-29 09:16:56 · answer #10 · answered by d j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋