My husband is in charge of my home. He's a minor hoarder and loves to bring anything home that's free. He's not physically abusive but I feel emotionally abused when he doesn't care what I want. He feels bad and gets affectionate but nothing changes. I can't fight about it anymore. I just want to live alone, but how can I do that when I'm all he has? What's wrong with me when I let his life be more important than mine? That's how it's always been. We've been together almost 30 years, and I'm so torn. What can I do?
2006-10-29 08:32:33 · 7 answers · asked by nobackbone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you can always set boundaries, and boundaries are enforceable.don't take responsibility for his life, let him do it.communicate your needs to him,not dealing with it can end a marriage, when all you needed to do was to set boundaries. not setting them or communicating them will cause you to loose faith and become resentful.
2006-10-29 09:00:28 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What u gonna do after u leave him, u will feel so bored & after 30 years of marriage, do u really think somebody may be inteerested ?
sorry for being rough but its very true,
u better b happy with a nice guy even if u r not 100 % compatible with him
r u saying u r torn? after 30 years?i can not comprehend this.
u need o talk to dr laura.(radio talk )
2006-10-29 08:42:24 · answer #2 · answered by drinda_house 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand where you are coming from. You need to be frank with him, Tell him you gave him the best years of your life, and now you feel as if it is time, for you, that you need to try and make your self happy, and that you want to get your own apartment, and try and see if you can make it. Say, Life is too short, and tomorrow is not promised! I hope all works out for you!
2006-10-29 08:46:42 · answer #3 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing to do here is set yourself up in your own apartment don't let him know until you are out of the house.When he is at work take a little at a time so he won't notice anything is missing.When you are at your apartment call him and tell him what you have done tell him it's not a final thing you just need time to yourself to think thing through.make sure you let him know that you still love him and their isn't any one else in your life but him.GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-29 09:01:45 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he can't help himself there, you said he's affectionate and feels bad about what he does. I think that after 30 years, and considering the offense, it's worth a shot at counseling.
2006-10-29 08:45:13 · answer #5 · answered by calliope320 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To difficult to answer here. I really suggest therapy for both of you.
The Syko Ward
2006-10-29 08:34:56 · answer #6 · answered by The Syko Ward 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need out when he goses out looking for more chunk pack your stuff and do a runner good luck
2006-10-29 08:40:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋