Am i too young to have a baby?

Question

I'm 19 and my fiancee is 24. We have been together 11 months. Since being with him, I have wanted to have a baby, but put it to the back of my mind as i thought i was too young and plus we are still living at home with our parents. Recently we got engaged and a couple of weeks after, he started talking about having a baby. He really wants it and is not putting any pressure on me. I really want to tell him I want a baby too, but i feel as though people will think i'm too young, altough im very mature for my age.I know it shouldnt matter what people think, but to me it does. Is it irresponsible of us to plan a baby if we are still living at home? Although we have started a savings account and will move out as soon as we have enough money. We both really want this and dont want to wait any longer. any advice?

Answer 1

yes you're too young

Answer 2

No personally I don't think that you are to young if you feel that you have fully thought it out then I say go for it. I would however say wait until you move out just to experience living on your own without the stress of being a new parent. Get your priorities straight as far as managing bills and dealing with money and things like that and especially the relationship between you and your fiance that's the most important. If you want a baby I think you should tell him just so that you both know that you share a common goal and since it's no pressure then that will make it even easier for you to plan and prepare for a future with your soon to be husband and soon to come baby. Don't let the yahoo audience depress you with some of negative answers they will provide only you know what's right for you.

Answer 3

My daughters all had babies at that age and each tried to talk the other out of it. My youngest is 20 and she has two. It's not that she and her husband didn't want any they were just like you guys and in the same situation and were thrilled when they got the news they were expecting. Her husband has a good job and she's home with the kids which is what she wanted but it's very stressful to young people to have a baby and your lives change the minute it's born. When your baby cries it's sometimes for no reason and lasts for hours. The diapers the colds,and throwing up and all of things that come along with it can really wear you out. My grandkids are a joy but I can tell their parents could have used anouther year or two of just being together and enjoying each others company before they were into kids, jobs, bills and one of them is always tired. Take your time and be married for awhile and enjoy each others company before you add children. Get the house and the great job and go on a fun vacation so you have those days to build on and add a baby to.
Offer to babysit a small baby one whole day and an entire night before you decide. And remember it's true what they say. Your baby will be just like you were when you were little. I can't tell you how many times my girls have said" Oh, not my baby! Mine will be an angel.

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel. I was 17 at the time that i got married to my husband, who was 23 at the time. We had our first baby when i was 18, and he was 24. Everyone thought that we were too young, but that is just their opinion.

Honestly, it is not the age that matters when it comes to having children. Its the responsibility. There are women out there who are 30 years old, but too imature for a baby. Yet, there are young women who are very mature for their age. If you feel that you are both mature enough, then go for it!

I am going to be honest with you though. Having a baby in the first year of marriage is very difficult. You go from just the 2 of you, to 3. If you feel that you are ready to become a 3 and not just a 2, then go for it, and good luck!

My husband and i have been married for 5 years now, own our home, and have had a second child.

Answer 5

No not yet. Parenting is hard but very rewarding but you should make sure your life is in order in as many aspects as you can. Once a baby is born there is no going back. I've seen lots of young couples split up just after a baby has been born because of the unexpected stresses it can put on a relationship. No more nights out just when you feel like it, the extra expenses etc. Although you are going to move out when you have enough money the diffrence will be are looking for somwhere for two or three. If money is tight it's easier to skimp on food or heating etc to keep costs own but if you've got a little one you need to keep it fed and warm and comfortable. It is up to you in the end but please don't be rash.

Answer 6

Look, in your question you didn't once mention another option so, that tells me you want and will have and keep this baby. Millions of babies are born each year to 14 yr. olds who don't have a clue. So what about your age. I was 20 and felt young but, it was the best time of my life. We didn't have much. We spent time with my mom and we had to get some help from the Govt. in the beginning. So, don't worry about 9other people and just do what you have to do. If he is with you then you are out to a great start and that's what counts the most.
a lot of girls have to do this on their own and you have him. so, go for it. Be happy and enjoy it. Just use double protection until you are settled and know for sure about any future children? That means being more responsible the second time and you can do that together. Good Luck. Congratulations!

Answer 7

Wait until you have your own place. Then make sure you have enough finance to keep a roof over your head before planning a baby. You have only been together 11 months and you too have not lived together yet, then when you do finally move in together, you have the lovey dovey honeymoon period, then once the novelty of living together then think hard about the child, who will be responsible for what in the home etc...

Answer 8

You are not only too young, but you a re with the wrong guy. The statistics are loaded against you, and are full of horror stories of young women caught up in the fantasy of being a "lovely little mother with a cute little baby and a devoted husband" and they walk down the road together with the stroller and people come up and the look at baby and go "Awwwwwwwww" Lady, this is part of the "big lie" the Fantasy that we are swamped with on television, in magazine articles, in the big stores. Now for the harsh reality. You end up in some cheesy apartment, with little money, and the guy can't get a job, or if he h as one, he can't keep up with the constant demands for diapers, baby formula, clothing, supplies, trips to t he obstetrician to check up on the child's progress.. How does the immature new daddy (and oh yes, this'n IS immature) deal with the pressure? He goes out with the boys one night... . or regularly... . and they run into some gals . YOU have been very occupied lately taking care of junior, so you are not so ready to fulfil his "needs" Hey, he's got a few beers in him, and he's out there laughing with his buddies and there's this good lookin chick giving him the wink wink. And the rest, as they say, needs no spelling out.
Girl, this is NOT about what you and your boyfriend want. It's about your planning to bring a new human being into this world at a time when ya don't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. A child that will be needy and demanding, and for whom YOU will be responsible for the next eighteen years. My bet is that the very moment you got pregnant, that 24 year old boyfriend of yours will take off like a bat out of hell and possibly even deny the child is his till you nab him with a paternity test and get a paternity order against h im for a hundred bucks a week. Good luck with that if he leaves the State.

I'm being a "wet blanket" and painting a gloomy picture of something that "wont happen to YOU" right?
Well, if it was a horse, would you bet on it?

Answer 9

You may very well be old enough to have a baby but I wouldn't make it a priority at the minute.

Buy a house, make sure both of you have good jobs and then try for a baby, marriage can wait but it is nice to be able to fit into your wedding dress and to be able to go off on your honeymoon without having to worry about how you baby is doing with your parents.

Don't rush into anything yet, give yourselves a few years to settle into your new home and make sure you are financially stable.

For one thing you want to make sure that YOU have done everything YOU want to do with your life before you start a family, you will be tied down, even with the help of your family but in time you may not feel its fair to rely on your family to look after your child because you want to go out or have a holiday with just you and your fiance.

Don't mean to sound rude here but just make sure you get your priorites right, you don't want to be getting pregnant now when you don't have enough to get a house together yet, having a baby now will take up all your savings and more....you have plenty of years to have children...give yourself a time frame of when you want to start, like maybe 5 years from now. By that time you both should have your own house and both be in a good stable job.

Answer 10

It's your life...or should I say the baby's....so providing it's got a roof over it's head, food in it's belly, clothes on it's back and can have a good and fulfilled childhood...then there's no reason not to. But there's a lot more to think about than just this.

I was 21 when I fell pregnant with my first child, and the "dream" of it is so different from the reality. I put on 4.5 stone during my pregnancy, I had chronic sciatica and couldn't walk from 7 months, I felt low, depressed and unattractive...me and my partner argued constantly, and nearly split up several times. We had the stress of just moving in together whilst I was pregnant, which is the worst time to move, and we were finding out things about each other, which we hadn't known before when we wasn't living together. It was a hard time, my son was born and 3 months later the strain of everything just got too much and we split up. We got back together 3 months later and are together now 4 years on, with another son....but we had stress through that pregnancy too. It's not an easy ride, it's tiring, stressful and upsetting. Your hormones will knock you for six, and you haven't even known each other long enough for your relationship to automatically be strong enough to stay together.

Do you both work? You'll need to if you're going to have enough money to live and provide. Do you not want to enjoy holidays/night's out together without having to worry about babysitters? Believe me, they'll be few and far between once you've got a baby! Are you prepared for the fact that if you don't find somewhere to live, you'll have to start your life as a family living with parents?? Are you prepared for moving whilst you're pregnant, which is likely to put so much stress on your relationship that you might argue and break up? 11 months is no time at all, you're still young...not too young to have a baby, but why rush it? Isn't it better to wait and enjoy life, rather than tying yourself down with someone you don't really know? Once your baby is born and your relationship breaks down, you'll be the one carrying the majority of the responsibility.

Ultimately it's your choice, but you asked, and I answered truthfully. As I said, I was 21, and it's been HARD work. I love my boys, but sometimes I wish we'd had more times as a couple on our own. Babies ruined my body, and I'm now more insecure than I used to be. Being a mum is everything I thought it would be, and more...it's rewarding, fun and I enjoy it more than anything else....but our relationship has suffered, we've been through times of financial stress...and it's important you get through any problems with as little impact on the children as possible....that's the hard bit.

Answer 11

I have to agree with the marrage part first! And then see how things go its not what you wnna here belive me Ive been there but I am soooo glad I waited cause I was a lot better off that way having a really good support system is very very important when having kids I have 2 one of each and Im now a single mom but thats besides the point, If you think you are ready no one knows you like you do. But marrage first! I think is the best advice you can get. Be settled first in a home and such they are a great responsibility!