how can i stop the child support agency?

Question

after having a private arrangement for paying maintenance for 3 years,my expartner has got the csa involved,and she has stopped me from seeing the children,and the amount they are asking for each month would put me into debt,after already paying debts from when i was still with the ex,is there anything i can do as it is putting severe pressure on my new relationship?and putting me under more stress.

Answer 1

There are an awful lot of different opinions in the answers you have. Unfortunately, (and this isn't from someone malicious or up yours type of person- I have 6 children all by my ex husband and I was with him for 15 years, no need to go into why or whats, and I worked though out having the kids to support),, I personally only put my ex husband through the CSA because I agreed to £55 for 6 kids ages between 7 months (at time of seperation) to 13 years of age. He didn't keep to that and for 18 months didn't pay a penny). Even now I only get £71 a week for them and yes I do work to keep them-I am not on income support!

U see 2/3/5 minute wonder, it doesn;t matter, they are your children and if you have a dispute with that then ask the CSA for reduced DNA tests....

I have my own reasons for my divorce and I'm sure you have yours, mine were not flippant and if I had the choice I would still be loving the husband who I had my kids by and I married... but sometimes life is not that simple.

There are 4 very simple steps in this procedure:

a) You either accept or you get proof that the kids are yours

b) When u have the proof, you then take the responsibility for what is yours

c) U deal with it what ever the outcome and if it is not quite what you expected then you still deal with it in what ever is appropriate!

d) If you have been a good father in the past and your ex will not let you see the kids- then if that is really important to you, you see a solicitor.

Anything whether you are on income support or not will cost you in the end....legal aid or not, nothing is free anymore....

And as for your other partner, well I am really sorry to say this to someone who is moving on.....I would suggest she doesn't live with you on paper if you know what I mean?? I think 3 nights a week is considered safe...thats from someone who has moved on, but not to the point of letting my partner of nearly 5 years move in, he rents a couple of streets away!!

Good Luck...but remember if they are your kids, then you can not beat that, cos even with my magic partner , the kids are everything-1 who is now 20 and has a good job, my second is 18 doing an intense 3 month course in personal trainer and sports massage and the others are still at school fulltime. What ever happens mate, look in the kids eyes, watch them succeed and do not use what is happening with your ex against them. At the end of the day, u might hate her and she probably hates you but that has nothing to do with those little eyes and independent brains that you have created. Partners can come and go, your own flesh and blood doesn't!!

Answer 2

See a lawyer armed with all your bank statements and credit card statements over the last 3-4 years. This will prove your earnings/spendings are not what your ex clearly believes them to be, so asking for so much support money that it leaves you penniless isn't going to work. Not unless she wants to see you file for bankruptcy. If you go to court, the judge will not simply take your word for it that you can't afford to pay x-amount, you will have to prove it. If you prove it to his/her satisfaction, then it will be up to your ex to spend less on the kids or contribute more herself.

Now, having said that...
If, however, you've been wasting money on Prada accessories and luxury trips to Barbados you can't afford, then showing your bank statements will put an end to all that! It's a bitter pill, but you weren't forced to make the babies, so it's up to you to pay for them. And how could you complain that paying your kids' bills is putting the mockers on your new relationship?? Youre lucky that debt is your only worry. What about the mother of your children and any potential new relationship she might want to have? Not only is she broke but she has to look after your children for you 24-7 as well. Sounds to me like it is she, not you, who has the sh*t end of the stick.

Answer 3

You can go back to court and ask for a reduction in the amount of child support payments. You have to pay child support though. The children are not just her responsibility but yours as well until they are 18. You can not get out of helping to support them. She is wrong by denying your right to visitation she cant do that either. Stop fighting and work together because the kids are the ones who wind up paying the most in the end.

Answer 4

go to the citizens advice bureau but ask when the specific lawyer for your type of case is on duty. nothing minus nothing equals nothing, if you give up your job nobody benefits, does your ex wife not get it. if you have nothing, she gets nothing!!!!
also don't involve your new partner her earnings may be taken in to account , to all intense and purposes you must be single!
next bit of advice never get married again! my dads been stung twice, and my partner of 25 years who has always paid maintenance at a 1000.00 a month for peace is just getting divorced and after a 25 year judicial seperation, despite what we have made since she is still entitled to half,!!! be single and be happy!!!! and i am not a man! women still hold the upperhand on divorce and settlement- totally wrong, especially for the honest men that want to care for their families, the only people who make money are the lawyers, also collect all your debts together and take then to the CAB too, you may come out feeling a whole lot better,,,, good luck, and never go to one of those put your debts into one and pay monthly, thats a rip off, rely initially on the citizens advice, it's free. informative and can solve problems that you may be burying" LIKE MAIL" been there and they sorted me.

Answer 5

Iagree with your partner, too many guys swaning off just thinking about your bellies and what hangs from it and that she will bring up the kids,my daughter in a situation similar left with no roof over the kids and her head he left her with a few thou. to stump to debt collectors as he was abroad working never paid me a grand he got a loan of, He was told to keep in touch with his kids by phone to phone them at least twice a week this he did not do when he came home he did not see them he would sometimes pay a meagre amount into the bank for them but not every month is this a father that deserves to get off with what he has done I only hope that this new CSA system catches up with him and hit him hard this guy has been living it up with a girl booking into the Hilton in London buying expensive jewellery and my wife and I have to kit the boys out in school uniform.this will do but there is a lot worse.my heart bleeds for you.

Answer 6

Nope...Nothing you can do now that she's involved them.. The courts don't care how many relationships you've got now or even if you have anymore children after these. Their concern is the children at hand and they'll make you pay.. Your EX sounds very bitter...

Answer 7

you will would desire to have the CSA, discharge the quantity that they declare which you owed, i.e. the quantity it relatively is wrongfully claimed via the corporate. after which bypass on that discharge of debt to the bill creditors. relatively you could desire to touch CSA and tell them that the "debt" replaced into in certainty a e book keeping/workers failure(remember the guy which you will handle won't understand the small print of your case, so tell them each thing), and have them launch you from the load of that debt, get it in writing!!!! then you take the launch style(remember each state has its very own criminal mumbo jumbo) to the corporate and to that end tutor that there is not any relatively/lawful collectible debt between you and them. you additionally can bypass the: "i'm no longer a contracting social gathering to this debt and to that end am no longer in charge for the contractual affiliation which you and CSA have between you" path, yet it relatively is confusing and gets genuine bushy. attempt the 1st concept first, and in case you come to a style to bypass the 2d study and understand the U.C.C's. desire this facilitates you.

Answer 8

get a lawyer and go back to court, let the judge rule on it. You can call a family law attorney tomorrow and they can file a motion to suspend the new amount until the court rules. You should still pay the old amount on time though, good faith counts for a lot in family court.

Answer 9

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/BK6eP

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 10

There's no smoke without fire sonny! Why would she go three years happily letting you pay, and then go to the CSA? You've obviously tried to cut her money to pay for night's out with your new girlfriend, and now she's turned nasty....good on her!

They work out all your incoming's and outgoing's, and if I'm totally honest, they will make you pay a far more reasonable amount that I would expect if I was your ex! So don't lie and say you can't afford it, because you can....you're just annoyed that you're not going to have spare money like you had before, because somehow you'd obviously got her to agree to you giving her much less than she was entitled to for 3 years!

As for your new relationship, what the hell is more important, providing food and clothes for your kids, or keeping your new girl happy?? If your new girl doesn't like it, she can get lost, cos your kids came first, and your kids come first...simple!

Your question actually means "how can I stop paying so much for my kids" - low life!