MY 9 year old son is extremely jealous of the time I spend with my 11mth old, and no matter how much time I spend with him or explain why she needs the extra attention, he gives me a hard time
2006-10-29 07:54:49 · 5 answers · asked by halexjack 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It seems to be more of - "how do you help him cope" ..The question is troubling , because you say "extremely jealous".
It's somewhat difficult to answer without knowing particulars . Was older brother an only child ? Regardless -it's natural for the youngest child to be a bit jealous of a new sibling . At 11 mos. . major jealously should be over .I would stop giving explanations as to why baby needs you . Brother could be escalating demands for your attention ; and it does not matter "why" the baby needs your attention -the older brother should not be encouraged or allowed to "hold you accountable" for time with his sister . It may help if you include big brother more when attending to the baby's needs ( put on baby's socks ; etc ). Also have him teach & play games with baby. I wouldn't refer to it as needing "extra" attention ; but instead , say that these are the same things he needed when he was a baby . Talk about the days when he , himself was a baby and give him reassurance that he holds a special place in your heart . Also tell him of all the special things he'll get to do first -because he is the older brother . When he is included more , and given "important" roles to play with the baby , his jealously will fade away . If it escalates , he will need professional help to deal with it .
2006-10-29 08:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by missmayzie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he has had 8 years of being the centre of attention Its no surprise. Why not ask him to help you thank care of the little one. Play games with both of them but also play with them separately. And of course tell them both how much they mean to you. There is a 6 year gap between me and my sister and I had to help my parents by taking care of her but now we are very close.
2006-10-29 08:09:55 · answer #2 · answered by John T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
got the same age gap between my 2 kids - i pointed out to the older child how much luckier they were coz they had me all to themselves when they were little but that their younger sibling always has to share my attention - worked for me - my 2 are now as thick as thieves and have a real close relaionship despite the age gap
2006-10-29 08:01:53 · answer #3 · answered by silly billy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you love him, and that you love his little sister, and that he has to be the big brother, have him help you with things for the baby, engage him in doing things with you for the baby, Say,Now you have to learn to be a big brother, so when she get older, you have to teach her all of the things, that you know!
2006-10-29 08:00:41 · answer #4 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe he still wants to be the 'baby' and although your telling him to be the big brother maybe he 's not ready are you asking him to grow up before he's ready???
2006-10-29 08:05:02 · answer #5 · answered by danie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋