Husband left, divorced me when I had a breakdown. How to see recover and son?

Question

I had a breakdown 3 days after my father died. ex says I was just making excuses; I was in 3 hospitals. I was served divorce papers while in the psych unit. He knew I had a illness before we dated, married. That is why this is so very painful. I stood by him when he was ill.
It has been heartbreaking for me to get over. He did not stand beside me, just shut me out, now will not talk to me. I has been 10 months since the divorce was final. But, 20 months since this started.


The main issue now is that he has custody of my son. I have no visitation, due to not being able to afford a lawyer or be present in court. The judge gave him everything.

The bad side is I still love him.
Although, now I see he is liar, thief, user, mean, cruel idiot.
I have not been in counseling yet. I have hard days.
I know I need a lawyer too.

How do I get over him?
How do I regain my independence?
How do I get to see my son without dealing with ex?
Any suggestion

Answer 1

the first step is getting a good support system. friends, family, church, face up to your fears,there isn't any growth without risk.stop expecting something from the man who hurt you, he isn't sorry, and never will be.this is his character, he hurt you because he did not want to be there for you or deal with the responsibility, he was selfish. u get over him by facing reality and seeing him as he really is.yes u stood by him but that doesn't guarantee that he would do the same for you. let go of this person who hurt you, he will never be there for you,he isn't able to repay you for the misery he caused you. we need to open up to new things.

Answer 2

It is heartbreaking to know you have gone through this singlehanded, I wonder how you did it, you are really courageous. It can be disheartening to be treated this way by your ex. What is your idea of love? How can you love someone who has been so nasty to you? In love we grow, he never loved you at any point, and you have been reduced to nothing in his company. He used you, he lied to you, and stole from you, and it is a good realization. Atleast you know him better. Your love for him is pure, and you stood beside him when he was ill, it shows you are a better person than him. You are a giving person, while he is selfish. Instead of spending time feeling sad for yourself, and getting angry for not having what you wanted it is good to use that energy more constructively. Chanel it for the right use. Get legal help contact the free legal aid services, and start your battle. this battle is not to win but to get your son back if thats what you want. talk to your lawyer and get visitation rights, you are his mother and you have every right to see your son. Keep all your documents as proof for your situation.
Love is giving and you have a lot of it, there is surely someone out there who will understand your love. Inspite of your mental health conditions you could still give. Your ex has no idea what he has lost. Life has something better to offer to you, look ahead and move on. These experiences only make us tougher, You are stronger now, plan your move and find happiness from within. No one can make us sad, we allow things to happen to us. You are not going to make the same mistake anymore. Take my luck!

Answer 3

it sound like you have your hand full.what i would do if i were you is to worry about one thing at a time which is you and your health
sound like you are in pretty bad shape mentally and physically
then after you get your self better then i would look in to getting a job and a good church to go to and meet new people get a new out look on life because right know you are very depress and it sound like you have a great deal of anxiety build up in you to.then ounce you get this done you well have your independence back and you well have a new life.then i would look in finding a lawyer who would work on a sliding fee scale.there are lawyer out there
that does this.your husband is not a nice person and the only reason why. you still love him it sound like you have never been with a other man and you feel so insecure right know. you need to snap out of this state of mind you are in.and do some thing with your life. if you want your son back and have a new life.
good luck art

Answer 4

You can have access to your son-I know cos I have to take my sweet,kind and beautiful baby to see my violent ex at a contact center this month-
You do not still love him-You are just low and if things were better you wouldn't give him a second thought.

Honey I have been there-I was once bleeding to death and my hubby said I couldn't go to hospital cos he had to go to work and I had to plead for over an hour for him to help me.
I got as close to dying as you can get.

Now you are at rock bottom there is only one way and that is up-
The first thing you need to do is look at your home.Do you have somewhere you can stay that is permanant.cos if you are going to get a permanant state of mind-The home is the first thing.
I assume that you aren't working-which if not you should get legal aid-If you are working then it's probably not a good idea that you do until you are stable.

Finally do something that you have always wanted to do that will boost your mood-I am learning to drive-

And get counselling I had six months of it and it helped me-I had 20 years of violence to unravel.

You can do it and if you ever fancy a chat Then you are more than welcome to e-mail me.

Answer 5

I suggest that u cry let it all out.Start looking 4 u a job that if u don't have1.get some kind temporary help.Work on getting yourself right .Then start working on getting ya son back.

Answer 6

try to get a legal aid lawyer,they are appointed by the court and doesnt cost you anything.

Answer 7

First things first.......get into therapy. Your therapist will help guide you where you need to start.