our son and girlfriend planned a pregnancy. She is pregnant,and now says she doesn,t care for him. what we do?

Question

Our 18 year old son and his 24 year old girlfriend planned a pregnancy. She is now pregnant . She now tells him that she does not care for him. He is of course devastated, and We as grandparents are concerned that she may leave the state. She has relative in another state and has mentioned going there to work. She has not had contaact with our son or my wife and I. What can we do to make sure we have parental and grandparents rights to the child. This will be our first grandchild and we do not what to miss out on any of that childs life.

Answer 1

First of all, there is no child yet. When (or if) there is why would you want to be involved in the child's life when he will not be related by marriage, common law or actual? What is the joy in that? That would not be a healthy relationship for you or for the child, or anyone else involved. I would forget it and wait for the next one.

I have a very similar situation in my family and I can tell you that no one is missing out on anything good by staying out of it. Just relax and find something to do with your time. You raised your son and you have to trust that he will make good decisions in the future.

Answer 2

from since the beginning of this situation -until you take her to court, keep a record of everything, her words, phonecalls, behaviour and dates, courts favour the mom usually, its not that you wanna get the dirt on her - its just that you need to back up your facts with a record and have a clear mind in what you are talking about - maybe go for joint custody and try to fight clean - remember the child is the most important things to protect and nurture and shelter from any emotional damage.
your son is the father, unfortunatley the mother sounds selfish and irresponsible to cause such unrest and frustration in the life of a man she chose/planned to have a baby with.
the best you can do is stick together,
the worst the court can do is give you weekends only access -
there are also a lot of law that can prevent the mother from leaving the state or country and denying the father visitation rights.
maybe at this stage try talking to her rationally, she has a high level or hormones buzzing through her body she may be making decisions based on heightened emotion

and in the meantime seek advice from a family lawyer.

Answer 3

Most women, after they get pregnant do very much the same thing, we did not see it in the last generation as we seem to see it in this one. It is a case of delayed stress. syndrome, and can, and might stay as long as two years after the baby is born. Basically, she is mad about being pregnant, and the changes in her body...next time "if" there is one choose your partner more carefully, my opinion is; 18 and 24?...babies having babies. On the legal aspect of the situation, if you really are concerned with the child, you would consider what is best for mother and child, not what you are going to miss out on, you will have in any custody proceeding "reasonable visitation" but what that means is as little as 30min a month and or what is really reasonable to her. Bottom line...the nicer you are to her, the more you see the kid...your in a tough spot, with individuals that lack wisdom .

Answer 4

Your son has the right first and foremost because he is the baby's father. As parents you can help him retain a lawyer who deals specifically with custody cases. He has just as much of a right to the baby as she does, but he will have to fight for his rights unfortunately. That's the best advice I can give. An attorney would also be able to tell you the rights of grandparents in your state. Good Luck !

Answer 5

Unfortunately, it seems a lengthy custody battle could be at hand. I feel so bad for your son...it must be so hard to be treated this way, and to be pushed out of the life of your child. I'd say try talking to the girl a couple times, and if nothing comes of it, and she still behaves in this childish manner...then you'll have to take it to court and get a court order put in place that your son has rights to see the child.
You'll be in my prayers...
Melissa

Answer 6

as soon as the baby is born have a lawyer start preceedings to ensure that you can receive grandparent and parental visiting rights. i know that paternity will have to be determined before they can really do anything. your son has just as much right to the baby as the girlfriend. schedule a consultation with a lawyer that specializes in child custody to discuss options. most first visits are free.
good luck

Answer 7

Take her to court that is and have an order put on her so she will have to stay in the state until the baby is born and your son gets sole custody or shear custody of the child. That is only way

Answer 8

Talk with an attorney NOW!
Sounds like she set this poor boy up to get pregnant, with no intention of ever letting him be in the babies life!
If she leaves the state and does not put his name on the birth certificate it will be much harder and more expensive for him to get any paternity rights!

Answer 9

There is nothing you can do. This is what happens when unmarried people have a child. The father can demand visitation which will keep her in the area.
Maybe you could send her a nice letter and see if you can win her over. But legally, there's not much you can do.

Answer 10

If you have specific questions concerning rights in your state, contact:
www.grandparentsforchildren.org
G.R.O.: Grandparent's Rights Organization, [phone].
The National Coalition of Grandparents at [phone]
www. grandparentchildconnect.org
They'll give you up to date information concerning the laws in your state.