From the begining of my pregnancy I've had to deal with this, from family,friends and aquaintences.I'm not ashamed of being pregnant.I'm not a slut.I loved a man ,it's over.I still love him and I miss him so much,but I can't tell anyone.Yes I'm stupid.My family is ashamed of me.
2006-10-29 06:37:06 · 22 answers · asked by Jazz 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Your family and you are not what matter here. You need to consider your baby in this. You need to look into giving your child up for adoption. It does not need to grow up in a broken home. Give the poor kid a chance with a nice loving couple.
I think its so funny that sooo many people are giving this answer the thumbs down when really, its the best answer there is...any other answer is selfish. CHILDREN are our future...a child needs a MOM and a DAD. I sure wish that someone had told me everything I am saying now 8 years ago when I had my daughter at age 18 out of wedlock because now, my daughter has a bigger chance of becoming pregnant like I did and even being killed if I were to live with any other adults such as room mates or even if I get married...these are facts people...wish I still had the link to the article....You can all down me all you want, but I made mistakes and now its not just me paying for them, its my sweet daughter. If I can help another girl before its too late, then thats what I will do.
2006-10-29 06:42:02 · answer #1 · answered by divinephi 3 · 1⤊ 7⤋
You aren't stupid and your family should not be ashamed of you. They should be supportive in your time of need. If your friends are being the same, you should find new friends. There are plenty of other young women in your situation who will be supportive. You can't avoid your family, but you can certainly change your friends.
As difficult as it may be right now, just try to concentrate on staying healthy for your baby and think of the joy you will feel when the baby arrives. That should give you some degree of comfort. Time passes quickly, and one day soon, this despair will be replaced with happiness.
You sound like you will be a wonderful mom! Good luck.
2006-10-29 06:48:51 · answer #2 · answered by MyPreshus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, it's so sad that people can't just be happy for you-it's too late to turn back time, your going to have a baby-you are NOT stupid..and I bet your family will have a big change of heart around your last month..when the shopping starts, and the showers begin..and they realize a new life is going to be brought into this world.
Don't expect them to be excited just yet, they are still mourning the fact that you are pregnant, and your whole life WILL change..try and understand their point! Imagine your daughter coming home and telling you she is expecting...and know that if it does happen you will be much more understanding!
Just try and be yourself, don't talk about the pregnancy too much around those who aren't supportive..keep up with your studies, or job as long as you are able, and show them that you are not tossing away your life...it will be work, but you CAN do it!
Get with a single mom's support group in your area, and vent your fears/feelings there. Try and surround yourself with girls who have been in your situation that have made it work!
Good luck, and what your doing takes guts...you had a choice to make, and you chose life- that's something to be proud of!
2006-10-29 06:47:18 · answer #3 · answered by kat k 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry. I know just how mean people can be. In a way, those that make rude and hurtful comments are hypocrites. What are they trying to prove...that you made a mistake...ok, so, you did, you know that...you don't need them telling you that...so what is their point? Returning hurt for hurt never helped anybody. Try not to let it get you down. I know it makes it worse that you are missing the man you love...that can almost be worse. Be strong in courage and know that no matter how people treat you now, when that baby comes...it will love you as it's mother unconditionally. If you are giving up for adoption, the family will love you and praise you for allowing them the priceless joy of a baby. So either way, love is coming to you. Let the other people squak at you, and know that you are loved by this little being inside you and by God. Good Luck and best wishes and congratulations on your baby!
2006-10-29 07:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by jamiasl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all your not stupid for loving a man who didn't stick around. And while being pregnant, woman can be a bit more emtional now and take things the wrong way (I did when I was pregnant). However, your family should be supportive of you right now. If not start talking to the women in the waiting room of your obgyn. Strike up a freindship with a few of them. I am sure they will be supportive of you, and that is what you need. People who understand what you are going through and will be there for you. I am sure at least one of them will be in the same situation as you. Good luck, and congrats on the baby.
2006-10-29 06:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by victoria E. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sucks but comments from family hurt the most cos you think they know you the most - the real you..
sounds like they don't though..
sounds like they are a grumpy bunch. and really inconsiderate.
sorry you dont have that support system that feels even more vital when you are pregnant.
i think at this time you should find a way to emotionally distance yourself from your family if they are not willing to lay off on the insults or put downs.
and join a mother's group, so you can spend time with other mothers who are excited about their babies, you will learn so much and all the happiness and anticipation you are around will really rub off on you.
work on one thing at a time, couples break up and get back together all the time, work on being a happy healthy expectant mom, and don't let mean people take the focus off caring for yourself and the baby inside you.
turn it around, be happy, happiness is attractive. I don't know anything about your past relationship with the father but I hope it goes well and it turns out just how you would love it to be.
2006-10-29 07:14:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she has done a lot of research into child care. Maybe she wants a baby of her own, and is just bitter and jealous of you guys. And her clock is ticking you know lol. I would make comments back about how easy raising kids are on your budget, and how kids are the best thing in the world. Just counter every negative comment with a positive comment she'll get really annoyed I bet, and you gotta have a little fun at work lol.
2016-05-22 05:39:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made the decision to keep this baby and came forward to tell everyone... that took an immense amount of strength on your part and you should be proud of yourself for it. I know it doesn't seem like it but eventually it'll stop for now either shrug it off or let it out. Don't pay any mind to their mean comments or throw those comments back in their face. Next time they say something offensive to you I would just fire back and say "I'm your daughter, this isn't easy for me either but as my parent you're suppose to help me through tough times not make it harder. Would you want me to make my child feel worse about themselves everytime they make a mistake because I don't want to be the kind of parent that you are teaching me to be." That should sink in and strike a nerve with them and if it doesn't make sure they know that you don't want your child raised around them. How will it look to your child if everyone around you that "loves" you treats you bad? That's not the right environment for them and states have programs where you can be placed if you're not in a sfae household for you.
2006-10-29 06:55:11 · answer #8 · answered by IceyFlame 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold you head up high.
It is tough to ignore the comments, I wish I could help you. I get enough nasty comments about my pregnancy/birth/and parenting choices and I am 25 and married.
Just know in your heart that you are being true to yourself and acknowledge that pregnancy makes you much more emotional and easily effected. Ask family and friends to respect that you are pregnant and do not need to be upset, but need love and support. If they can not respect your need for support and not abuse you then limit your contact with them.
Find a group of women who will give you the love and respect you need. If you can't find them IRL try Yahoo! Groups, like this one:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/empoweredchildbirth/
Also meditation and books like "Birthing from Within" might help you find your strength.
2006-10-29 06:43:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well things like this happen. I am sure that as soon as your family looks at your beautiful baby they will regret being ugly to you. Don't beat your self up. Be confident who knows maybe you will meet some one who would be good to you and be a daddy for your child. You are not stupid and this is not the end of your life. I'll pray for you. Good luck!!!
2006-10-29 10:43:41 · answer #10 · answered by gaillee9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone wishes that they had done something to have certain things in their life turn out differently. but as they say everything happens for a reason. you are meant to have this baby. continue to be proud of it. being pregnant is an amazing experience you will never forget. i think your family will get over it with time. once they see the precious baby it will all be forgot. try not to let them bring you down. as long as you want the baby that is all that matters.
god bless you and your baby.
good luck
2006-10-29 06:47:46 · answer #11 · answered by Maddie and Jacobs mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋