My best friend got raped. I'm asking this here because you guys don't know me and you don't know her. It happened last December or January, so getting a rape kit is out of the question.
The guy said he didn't do it, but I know that it happened because her hymen broke and she was a virgin before this happened.
My friend doesn't want to testify in court, but this guy is stalking her at school and we know that he has raped other girls. I wish I could do something, if not for my friend, for the other girls he is hurting.
Is there anything that I could do in my position, without any evidence to bring him to court?
2006-10-29 04:29:52 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
I can relate but not fully. My best friend of 7 years got attacked last week and a man sexually assaulted her...I had just dropped her off and a couple hours earlier then she called me to tell the news. I told her to go to the police but she didn't want to. The best you can do is support her and tell her that you're always by her side for whatever she may need. Though if the man is stalking her, tell her that if she could gain enough courage for all the other girls out there who may be potential victims to that horrible man. Tell an official of your local police department or school counselor. Most rape suspects become more fierce and possibly could kill someone over time. Mention that to your friend and see if she would do the right thing by saving a young girls life.
2006-10-29 05:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by jacqueline6001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult situation because she/you waited so long to act -- now it is her words against his. People are merciless about this stuff. If this guy's family has money, your friend will be the slut and he will be the misled outstanding jock. And you will need to be there for your friend because it will not remain a hush-hush deal -- it will be all over the school and town/neighborhood. Perhaps all of his victims could band together and consult with an attorney/sheriff/school -- there is strength in numbers. Especially if none of these victims have stepped forward on their own -- very unusual for a small percentage not to take action.
Did your friend see a GYN? She needs to be seen, tested for HIV and STDs . . . especially if this guy is doing what you state he is doing.
I do not mean to sound cold, but I have been aware of these things happening as you stated and otherwise. I have known of situations where the girl screams rape (and correctly so) because she did not realize how hot and heavy things could get and was not able to stop him despite her repeated attempts (verbal and otherwise) to stop him. I have also known of cases where a girl gets angry because the guy refuses to make her his one and only or brags of his conquests and humiliates her so she says it was a rape.
Everything about the relationship will be viewed under a bright light -- every detail. Your friend will need to be strong and be able to stand up to all of this.
2006-10-29 04:45:10 · answer #2 · answered by joyann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the main reason why guys like that get away, because the poor victim feels guilty and NO is NO!!! Anyway she should have gone to the police straight away without washing at all, they would have been able to take various tests and all that and maybe she would have prevented the self made stud from performing on other victims. But that was your friends choice. Now all I can say is to be there for your friend, she will remain a victim, as this is the path she has chosen for herself and others who follow. If I was in her shoes I would not be thinking of myself only, but the others who he plans to attack not so? All you can do is to support your friend and get together a group of girls who will and are prepared to stand up together against this type of unacceptable action. When one is raped one should go immediatly to a police station and report it to the cops. A friend of mine did this and brought the purpretrators to court and this followed by them going to prison. This friend of mine became a public speaker against crime against women and children LOL!!! Immagine the amount of rapes she has helped prevent.
2006-10-29 04:39:59 · answer #3 · answered by tracey s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If no one has been told, you need to get off of the computer and go tell someone right now. This guy wont be stopped if you dont do something about it. All you need to do is start asking these other girls that you know of, if theyll join you and your friend in the fight to bring him down. It wont stop till you guys stop HIM.
You dont need semen proof, all you need is these other girls, and even some guys that know about it.
Tell someone NOW. Thats the best thing you can do. If youre really her friend, youll do this.
2006-10-29 06:10:31 · answer #4 · answered by ~~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg..im doing a report on this..unreported rapes are too high..i have a few friends that were raped...please stand by ur friend's side, and support her......i dont think there is anything legal you can do...but maybe for ur self..u can start a cmpaign or raise awarness in ur community about rapes...and give girls the courage to come forward to help other gurls from becoming victims
2006-10-29 05:20:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact your local rape crisis centre. THere are usually places that women can go for advice on sexual assault in most communities. You can take all the particulars to them (it's confidential and they don't force you to go in any direction) and from there you can make informed decisions. But don't force your friend to press charges or disclose her rape unless she gives you her blessing, she was forced to do something she didn't want to once and forcing her a second time might traumatize her. Get advice from people who know how to support her. And take it from there. You sound like a great friend.
2006-10-29 04:33:11 · answer #6 · answered by B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
encourage her to seek out an adult she trusts and pray for her.
As for legal action, you said you didn't want him to hurt anyone else which means steps need to be taken to stop him. A lawyer knows the ins and outs but he needs stopped. Remember power comes in numbers, find out what help the other girls will give you
2006-10-29 05:51:12 · answer #7 · answered by girliegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk to her, thry not to pressure her into doing anything she dosent want to do. You might not beable to take him to court without the rape test they do at the hospitail. when i was raped they cops didnt even believe, so your best bet is get someone to kick the living hell out of the prick who did this to your friend
2006-10-29 06:11:38 · answer #8 · answered by Linda H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh sweetie my heart goes out to you and to your friend.
firstly let me sa well done to you for being such a concerned friend and helping your mate through this.
secondly there is nothing you an do unless your friend makes a report to the police.
talk to your friend and the other
they maybe able to persuade your friend to testify.
either way this scum bag needs to be locked up before he does it to someone else and ruins there life too.
good luck to both of you.
2006-10-29 04:45:43 · answer #9 · answered by rosierotweiller 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing is for her to tell the police. If she won't do that, then nothing else can be done.
If you are sure it happened, at least do your best to make sure others (including you) don't find themselves at risk. Stay away from the guy.
2006-10-29 04:32:07 · answer #10 · answered by Coffeyvillian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋