I have been with my fiance for three years now. We have been living together for a year now. He has no interest in staying in the state that we live in. I can not move because I do not want to leave my two kids and I have shared custody with my EX. I have asked when we were going to get married and he said I will not marry you until we move out of this state. I did not know how to repond to this answer. I did not think it was fair because he knows marriage is important to me and he also knows that I can not move. Is he being fair? How should I have reponded to that answer?
2006-10-29 04:24:31 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, what i can make out is that, u have projected urself as the one needing the cover of marriage.YOu have ur kids to take care of and hence u r in a vulnerable state. this guy on the other had doesnt really have anything to loose. he doesnt even sound so committed else he wouldnt put conditions for marriage. Do a checkpoint, is he the right guy to marry? Also , whats that moving to a diifferent state to do with marriage!? Time for you to decide in your best interest and for ur children.Atleast here u still have ur ex to share the responsibility of kids. Think over it.
2006-10-29 04:37:39 · answer #1 · answered by whisper v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure it's not what you want to hear, but I think you will be better without him. If he is playing the game of blackmail and ultimatums now, he always will. I would take this as a sign of whats to come. If another 5 years when you are married who's to say what he'll make you choose. You kids are number one and no man should ever come between you and them. I don't care if he is Brad Pitt or Bill Gates. I wish you all the best. Do whats best for you and you kids.
2006-10-29 04:40:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously doen't love you like he should for marriage.
My response to an ultimatum like that would be....
Have a nice life! If he can't handle that I would just say...
Deal with it sunshine, I'm not moving out of state.
Your kids come first and if he can't understand that then he is not the man you should be marrying.
2006-10-29 04:35:29 · answer #3 · answered by unknown friend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello,
well every one has to make sacrafices and if he really loves you then he would be with you no matter what...stop worring about what he wants and worry about your kids.....because if he is telling you that he hates the state how does he make your kids feel about their self and the other question is does he respect your children???you need to take a time out and look at all sides and ask your self is he worth marring if he wants me to move without my children????your children are there no matter what where he could only be temporary....and if you do leave do you think your kids would ever for give you for choosing some man over them???i still can't for give my parents for giving me to my grandmother.....so you really need to think hard about the decision your going to make and if your going to choose some man over your children....personaly i couldn't m children will always be there weather i like it or not....where some man can walk in and right back out of my life.....and your children will take care of you when your older....so i please choose your children over him....because no one should have to between their children and the one they love.....if you love each other then they should except every decision that you make and the same goes for you and you excepting his decisions.....i can see argueing over a point but not choosing between your family and children....if they say you have to then they are not worth the air or time your wasting on them....good luck i hope you find your answer....:)
2006-10-29 07:28:18 · answer #4 · answered by wendy p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should respond with a kick in his ***! No, seriously, this man is not in love with you if he expects you to leave your children behind. Find yourself someone who puts your interests first. Someone who would love your children. I think your fiance is jealous of your ex, that's why he want you to move to another state. But he's very selfish to expect something like this from you.
2006-10-29 06:39:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no he is not being fair. he knew about it before, so no he is just trying to control it and give you an ultimatum. tell him okay see you later cause i aint leaving my kids.
2006-10-29 04:35:30 · answer #6 · answered by hamhead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shoulda responded by saying "BYE" and find someone who loves you and your kids!!
2006-10-29 04:43:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋