I'm on my 50ths and what I enjoy the most in life is my own company. When I go out or meet other people they seem to be so empty, so imature that I can't wait to go back home. I enjoy riding my bike, listening to music, playing with my dog, writing, I guess I am more an introspective person rather than extroverted, even though I love dancing and having a good time with a friend. But it seems the world find it strange a person to be like me. It seems I have to go with the flow and I feel completely alone when I am among people that have nothing to do with me. Like yesterday I went to a dancing party and even though I danced and talked, I felt so lonely there because it seemed the people there had nothing to do with me. Maybe it is a state of mind, or maybe it is just the way I am and I have to accept it. I have always believed that I'd rather be by myself than with someone who is disrespectful or does not understand my soul. I want the least out of a relationship, that's respect.
2006-10-29 03:55:57 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
No I don't think there is anything wrong with you.
I think you are a loner and a little introverted. I am as well!!
I think enjoying your own company and doing things alone is just as healthy as a personn who loves the company of others and being the limelight of the party.
The fact that you are able to get out and socialise is a wonderful thing and I am wondering if you are looking for someone special to share your life with.
There may be a part of you that is scared because of past hurts and you are looking for someone who will give you the respect that you so deserve.
It seems to me that you are really doing a lot of soul searching.
If you are happy with yourself and the way things are, I would say, try not to worry too much about anything being wrong with you.
I think you enjoy your own company but then enjoy being with others when you so desire. That's perfectly normal and healthy.
I am the same,perhaps that's why I agree with you.
Some people think it's strange but that is our personality and our make-up. That's what makes us special and the fact that we look for respect is because we are a people who give respect and kindness : )
Your fine....just the way you are...
2006-10-29 04:07:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm let's have a look at what you wrote together
'I enjoy riding my bike, listening to music, playing with my dog, writing, ... I love dancing and having a good time with a friend.'
Sooo what's the problem? Hey I'm pretty sure the emptiness you sense in many people is actually just ... emptiness. They would love to be as content as you are so that's why they go around looking for others to fill that space. When they encounter someone like you who needs nothing it makes them feel strange.
2006-10-29 04:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understood every single word in your question. I have felt lonely in a room full of people. I have often felt alone because of my unique view of reality, it just seems like others do not understand me. I have always felt I was the person hearing the beat of the "different drummer." From the time I was a small child.
When I was about 30 years old I took the most amazing test. Called the Meyers/Briggs personality test and lo and behold I found that I was indeed a member of one of the smallest personality groups.
I found a book called "Please Understand Me" (I believe the authors name is Kiersey) and the book is available in most book stores or libraries. (There is a new book that they are pushing which is "Please Understand Me II and I do NOT recommend this book)
After I read the section on my personality type I finally, for perhaps the first time in my life, felt validated. Before I always felt MY thinking was askew. I always felt like I didn't fit in. Now I KNOW that is just the way I think and there are many good things about my group, I am an INTJ. "The Scientist."
You can take the test on-line, I believe, enter Meyers/Briggs or "Please Understand Me" in your browser window.
Peace.
Let me know if you like, on what type you are. Good luck.
2006-10-29 04:16:25 · answer #3 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great answer from above....here is also another book...HSP the hyper sensitive person. I am a professional performer..you know Broadway singing, dancing acting etc. Well we are VERY extroverted people when it comes to Socializing...HOWEVER...I don't look at it or feel emptiness persay, but I too would rather be a "hermit" I am content with it too. I go out once and a while but its fun in an infatuated way. You prob live your life on a deep emotional level (Aries) like me. I get more fullfilment from more meaningful situations. Even though you lke to dance....maybe you should feel content that you're doing it for yourself...and if you want to get more fulfillment out of gatherings pick a different setting like...small talk groups..AA, Bible study, wine parties...whatever you get fulfilment out of...there are TONZ of socialization groups out there! Then maybe you'll meet more people with not only similar likings, but obviously if its a small group then they too prob like to talk "deep" and get to know others "souls".
Just keep in mind that if you dont give people a chance and if you don't give them a chance then there will be no depth diving. Also...you may be looking for all that but respect that others who seem empty and immature may just be on a different plain than you because they have such serious "deep" stressful work lives or family lives that they just don't want to think or "be real" or emotional...etc. Maybe they need to have fun by being "shallow" (not the mean kind..the non commited to deep conversation kind)..(which can come off as mean to the person looking to get deep with them).
I get nothing out of "partying" either. I look around and feel disconnected unless I decide to Be in the moment instead of "making" a moment. If you enjoyed dancing...then be content with just that! Dont feel like in order for you to be Happy you have to get deep with every social situation. At least you know yourself! There is nothing Wrong with you. There are a lot of people like you. (and me)
once you find other more intimate social settings with similar likings you will prob find yourself not just enjoying your own company but looking forward to others as well.
Not everybody WANTS the same things you do and at the same times. But don't stop trying ...sooner or later you'll find people like the people you met here. (This is Fullfilling you right?) (Me too...so this is PROOF that there are people like you)
"The moment we question ourselves is the moment we let insecurities decide for us" You are who you are...and that in itself is well...perfect!
Embrace! Embrace! Embrace!
Good luck
2006-10-29 05:00:50 · answer #4 · answered by Al 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually a feeling of loneliness is an indication that you're feeling a life of "emptiness". You need to explore new interests. Find out what interests you and join groups or clubs of similar interests. The enjoyment of feeling alone differs with actually feeling lonely. You might also want to explore professional help.
2006-10-29 04:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A small fraction of people are what Jung would call introverted. Although not considered the norm to other humans, we are of course a social species, Jung actually favored it as the more emotionally mature group.
I am a loner myself. NO- nobody is mean to me and get invited to plenty of places. I just prefer quiet me-time. I have no need for constant bombardment of the senses.
2006-10-29 04:00:00 · answer #6 · answered by E R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nothing wrong with you. sometimes in life you need to be alone other times you need company of someone you enjoy being with. you sound like someone who needs passion not someone just to take up space
2006-10-29 04:00:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if it doesnt distress you to be the way your are then you dont have a problem. if it does and its been lifelong, pro help is in order.
2006-10-29 03:59:08 · answer #8 · answered by David B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋