she CONVINCED him to CHEAT!?

Question

ok, my mom and dad are getting a divorce. they split up about 2 weeks and he moved out. they split because my dad was having an affair with another girl. that girl CONVINCED my dad to move out.

what should i do the first time i meet her (probably next weekend since were all going to the mall)

Answer 1

You sound like a nice young lady who knows right from wrong. Just remember how you have been raised and be polite. If you cant say something nice...don't say anything at all *S* No one can Convince someone to do what they really do not want to do....unless she held a gun to his head. Perhaps you could just decline the offer for the trip to the mall....and you and your mom go do something for the day. You could just tell your Dad...nicely that you just don't feel right about meeting this "lady" right now.
*sigh* WHY do supposide ADULTS do this to there kids? Can someone tell me this!?

Answer 2

You gonna be piggy in the middle of a fly on the wall???
Rough deal. I feel sorry for your mother because it so hurts to be tossed aside for someone else, and I understand your position.
You have every right to resent the other woman, but what she has done is only to provide your dad with a means to an end, she is not responsible for your dad leaving, HE IS.
And it may well be a wise move because even if their relationship was hidden, the deception would have become a conflict and all sorts of bad things would have begun to happen at home.
My advice is to study your fathers new partner with an eye to view what extra benefits you can gain from this relationship, and also try to reason out where things went wrong in the first place.
Remember that she will be equally apprehensive about meeting you for the first time, so she will not show her true colours to you until some time has passed.
Its ok to be mannered and respectful.
That does not mean you are being disloyal to your mother or that you approve of what has happened. It means you are mature and in so being you become the anchor for your mom and a wise judge of life with all its woes.
WaI you I would put my thoughts on hold until some time has passed and then at the right moment I would ask her questions to help me understand more about why.
This may be a good time to focus on how to affirm your mothers self worth and model within yourself all the decency and gentleness that your mother has taught you.
It is not good to try to comfort your mother with words that condemn the other parties because your mother will be so busy trying to hold herself together that much of what is said she will take upon herself and think that she must be less than the other person.
Please try to show your warmth..I know it wont be easy, but I promise it will make you a better person and your parents proud.
Good Luck

Answer 3

That's really difficult to answer. Of course you're going to have negative feelings towards her and blame her for the break up (and hey she does deserve some blame). My father cheated on my mother too and remarried the woman that he cheated with. I like her, but then again I didn't find out that she was the one that my father cheated with until a couple of years ago, and by that time I had already established somewhat of a relationship with her. When I did find out, I developed some negative feelings for her, but it was too late to really hold it against her. I do sometimes have issues with my father though.

Basically every situation is different. I could advise you to give the woman a chance, or I could advise you to totally dismiss her and hate her for the rest of your life. In the end it's all up to you. It would be easy to let someone decide for you how you should act, but the truth is that it's going to awkward for a very long time. Your mother will probably have a lot to say on the subject too and that will make things a bit more difficult.

Go with your gut feelings. You probably won't know how to act around her for a very long time. It's a situation that is kinda suppose to be awkward, it's not the "normal" thing to happen.

Answer 4

Sweetheart first let me say this no one can convince someone else to do something they didnt already have a preconcieved idea of doing in the first place. Your father is being selfish if he hasn't sat down and explained this to you. People act according to what they feel is wrong or right. And if he truly felt it was wrong no amount of temptation would have changed that. Your father should not at this point be trying to get you to meet her for this could be damaging to your own mental capabilities as you get older. But if you have no choice in the matter don't go in there with the mentality that she is the enemy. Meet her be cordial and polite and if you hit it off great if not just be honest with your father and tell him you would prefer to see him alone and that you do not care for his new girlfriend and leave it at that and don't be swayed. Listen to your own feelings and follow them. ok On the off chance you do like her dont feel bad you won't be betraying your mother you will just be adding more love and another friendship to your life just be sure to include your mom in the things you do in life so she knows you still care ok I sincerely hope this helps hun.

Answer 5

I'm sorry you are going through something like this I know its hard. You don't say if you are a girl or boy but if you're a girl, Tell her in front of your dad that when you get married you hope your husband will find a nice girl like her to cheat on you with. And that since kids learn by the example of their parents you will be the same sorry doormat your mother has been. Then look him straight in his eyes and thank him for teaching you its okay for your husband to one day treat you like that. Tell him you are going to get married one day and how would he feel if some guy left you like that. Then look her straight in the eye and ask her if he could cheat on the mother of his children A woman he swore before god to honor what makes her think that he won't cheat on her.

If you are a boy tell him this is great he just taught you that If you get bored of one you could always go out and get another one. Tell him that she is way hot. And if you have the balls ask him if she is really great in bed.

Answer 6

Your father is an adult. At his age NOONE can convince him to do anything he doesn't already want to do. Afterall, you weren't able to convince him to stay were you?
It is unfortunate that he betrayed your mother but he is still your father and all you can do is love them both. Although you are not obligated to like his sl*t homewrecking girlfriend even a little bit. Go to the mall since you have to spend time with your dad and just ignore her completely.

Answer 7

Your father made his decision, even if the girl had a stron influence on the out come you dad is a grown man and made the finale decision regarding moving out. If this is the person your father has choosen to be with you don't have to like but being cordial and at least saying hello, seeing who she is before you condemn her is a good start. I don't blame you for being "mad as hell" because to be honest I would be too, but there is not a hole lot you can do here.. you can say you don't feel ready to meet her right now, be honest about how you feel, you are entitled to it. Best of wishes.

Answer 8

dear you the girl is not the guilty party
your dad should have out his priority right his family or a quickie
the only thing you have to say to the girl that if you were her you will never trust him because he might find the same to her as he did to your mom
but seriously, don't hate her feel sorry for her and ask your parents to be honest with you
expecially your mom ask her did the affair truly brook the marriage or was it the last straw
Good luck
& God Bless

Answer 9

If it were me id probably be very nasty. I would not go to the mall or meet her, if i met her and accepted her then it would be like sending the message to that woman and your dad that their behavior was okay. The lady is a homewrecker and I would not have one iota of respect for her. I would nicely tell my father that I do not want to go to the mall or anywhere at all with him and his new girlfriend. I would not accept her into my life. But that is me, and I cant stand homewreckers.

Answer 10

Your Dad is a grown man: she didn't convince him to do anything. He made his own decision. When you meet her, be respectful, non-judgmental and that is it. You don't have to like her but you do need to maintain your self respect and dignity. The relationship between your Dad and this woman will not last. Affairs that end marriages rarely if ever last.