I can't share him much longer.?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months now - yes still early days but it has moved quite fast and we have fallen in love.
The problem I have is that his ex wife continually calls him to see where he is or what he is doing. He answers the calls as he thinks she is calling about the children but it never is and it is now getting very tiring. He has told her to stop mithering him but she just won't get off his case. He says she didn't used to do this when he was single but now she knows he is with me she just won't give in. Any advice how we can deal with this?

Answer 1

my hubby's ex wife did that in the beginning (but there were no kids) and he changed his # & blocked it when he had to get in contact with her (she had a car that was in both thier names) but now its & so is she. Its still new & she will eventually get over it. Be patient and this 2 will pass. Ex's can be a pain but if you love him you will suffer through ;) she is just jealous. if there werent kids involved it would be MUCH easier. but there is still that issue where she will always be around its something your going to have to learn to deal with. Its hard but if you love him it will be worth it! :) GOOD Luck!

Answer 2

Time, if they broke up recently it will just take time. She needs to see you two are staying together and happy. In a way it may be her effort to stay in his life on a personal level and possibly control him. It's hard to let go, we all know that and unfortunately when you have kids with your ex- they get an advantage an average ex wouldn't - the excuse that they have to communicate for the kids (not that this isn't necessary but some USE it in ways they shouldn't). You need to decide if you can deal, and also how is he dealing with it - why doesn't he let voicemail get it then call her back if it is pertaining to the kids, or he can request email contact with her for less pertinent things regarding the kids. Stay strong, the last thing you want to do is seem jealous - as that will destroy your relationship. Do not let her get the best of you. Stay strong!

Answer 3

Well this can be a black and white question If black they think that more than one woman or man is the way things are the more the better.Whites tend to be a one woman person or man.Black woman sometimes have 6 to7 kids and none have the same father black men are the same.Whites seems to have a better record on that.So sharing is a way of life with some people.The X may be a good sex partner and that could all that it is.

Answer 4

That's tough, but she does really need to stop calling him like that. There has to be some other way for him to get the message if something is wrong with the kids. Try to find a family member or friend that she could call and then that person could call him and let him know. Good luck and I hope she stops doing this to you guys.

Answer 5

His children have to be the concern here. Its tough dealing with an ex, especially when young children are involved. I have seen children used to punish one party or as pawns between both. Unfortunately, you probably cannot do anything about this situation and continuing to worry over it will make you miserable. He is going to have to tell her no calls unless its only about the children. He has no responsibility to tell her what he is doing or where he is and if it were me I just would not answer those kind of questions.

Answer 6

it makes it tough for him not to answer with the kids , that makes him seem like a good dad...HOWEVER...this is his battle, he obviously has not made it clear to her to not call unless it is important. He could not answer the phone and tell her that he won't anymore and if it is an emergency she can leave a message and he'll get right back to her...jeese, i dunno, it sounds like a situation that i wouldn't want to get sucked into. The "competition" isn't going to stop here, it will only get worse. I think dating guys with kids is just too much of a pain...unless the mother is dead or something!!! I know you think you are in love but best to be very very sure that he is worth all the crap you will undoubtably have to endure, he needs more cahunas and they usually don't grow much after they are like 17!!!!! good luck to you ...it is a tough one.

Answer 7

i know what you mean maybe the ex wife want him back and why cant he change hes phone number pls take this advised talk to him make him understand how you feel about an ex keep calling do you think he will be happy if it wasyou taking the calls of your ex if it makes youunhappy leave him better early than late

Answer 8

Sounds like, although she doesn't want him, she can't bear the thought of him being with someone else. Can he let her calls go to the answerphone? Then he could leave calling back later and later, or not bother at all. She should get the message eventually.

Try not to let it get you down - you're the one with the 'prize' and it sounds as if she's the sorry one. Good luck, I hope it all works out well for you.

Answer 9

It's understandable that you don't want her to have this control over him. It is early days and if you explain to him and he still doesn't want to understand what you mean... and I mean explain clearly. That it's none of her business any more and his business is you and that you like privacy especially when it comes ot ex's. Your lives are seperate from her now and she shouldn't be involved.

If he doesn't want to understand it's possible he likes this contact and whether he does or not because it is early days I would have a very long think about whether you want to commit to this relationship. It's much easier to end it now than later. You don't want to be stuck in this kind of a situation.

Answer 10

first of all she is always going 2 be in his life cause they have kids together.second he could tell her to back off all he wants and she still going to do what she has to in order to talk to him cause she still loves him. tell him to talk to her really serious and tell her whats on his mind and explain to her that he has a life with you and understands that they have kids together but she has to let him go and be friends for the kids and start making her own life with someone else. tell him to be straight with her. but you dont get involed cause it will cause more problems okay. be strong and let him deal with the situation and if he doesnt then u know there is a problem and he not much in love with u like u think he is.