Someone commited fraud on my accounts 14 months ago, and caused me to suffer severe financial troubles and now my credit is ruined. About 2 months after this happened, I was a month behind on the mortgage and could not afford to pay it at that time. She has a good paying carreer. After 8 years of marriage and paying the mortgage, my wife flipped! She asked me to leave and why I am still there. She suffers from depression. Not a month later, she calls me to wish me a happy birthday. Her kids, which I raised since they were 7, still call me dad and still call 3 times a week to ask for help on stuff.
We used to dance together and after the first month, she started returning to the dances I attend. Over the year,I have brought her to dances, bought her flowers, taken her out after the dances. She calls me with all her problems. Last night, she said she wants to be good friends and we need to get the divorce done. I dont know what to do???
2006-10-29 03:32:42 · 9 answers · asked by Tomy B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you can prove the fraud then you can fix your credit,.and maybe fix your marriage if that's what you wish. However, if my wife married me for MY money I wouldn't really want to keep her. Your life sounds like a do-over. You may not have control again until you finally pick up the pieces. Your wife sounds like she is in control and to tell you the truth appears to be enjoying this a little too much. My advice... Give her the divorce, date really young gorgeous girls, and take them to the dances ALSO! Stop being the go to guy for her kids problems. You don't have to be mean just unavailable. Get a real job and after awhile your wife will be suggesting a reconciliation. Poof your back in control and can write me again and I will tell you what to do next.... Ha ha ha I'm a control freak too!
2006-10-29 03:46:31 · answer #1 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, for your own health, sanity and mental well being you need to move on. I'm saying this as a victim of getting caught in the trap myself. I seperated from my husband just over a year ago and for the next 10 months we continued to socialize and talk. But I found that I just continued to get worse and worse and it made the inevitable divorce even harder. You need to really sit down and think about what you truly want...not what you THINK you want. It's easy to stay stuck just because it's easy. No one likes the unknown, it's scary. But it's the only way you're going to be able to move on and have a fulfilling life. What will you gain by not granting the divorce? A dissatisfied ex-wife who will come to resent you. If you truly love her, you will let her go and if you are meant to be together then you will be when the time is right. And think of it this way...you deserve to be happy and you deserve to be with someone who WANTS to be with you. That's my opinion...take it from someone who's been down this road and good luck.
2006-10-29 03:43:48 · answer #2 · answered by Emmamart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife was doing this same nonsense to me. She was trying to maintain some kind of dual life - like we were half married. I think ladies call it being "hormonal" or something. Finally, I had enough of it and told her that I am not her husband and that she needed to solve her problems without my assistance. I recommended that she speak with a professional who could do a better job at helping her than I could. You just have to end the relationship and move on with your life. You must stop socializing with her: if you have kids, keep your relationship friendly but distant. Otherwise you will be messing around with her for a long time. Do you want to do that?
2006-10-29 04:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds complicated...
i think that for two people to get a divorce, they need to have exhausted all possible options for their marriage. it sounds like you guys have potential to be good friends, but it doesn't seem fair to give up the marriage if one party still wants to try.
i recommend marriage counseling. let her know that you don't want to make this harder for her and that you respect her feelings on getting a divorce, but that you feel it would be an injustice to not try to get extra help to sort through all the feeling that are involved in this relationship.
continue to let her know that you are there for her, and take it one step at a time. and let her file the papers--obviously!! actions speak louder than words, and she could be saying this to see how you will react... she hasn't actually filed for the papers, so there is a chance in my opinion.
2006-10-29 03:40:35 · answer #4 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for the diviorce it seems you both have realize that you are better off as friends and enjoys each other company expexially in dancing,the children will always be a part of your life set up visitations with them and move on with your life.its very rare that peoples in marriage can be friends.
2006-10-29 04:01:33 · answer #5 · answered by Ethel T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants a divorce...then that is what needs to happen. You cant change what she wants. You are probably still emotionally attached but it will get better. Just remember that you still have your life that it is also your choice if you want to remain friends. She isnt the one that gets to call all the shots.
2006-10-29 03:48:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but as hard as it must be for you, you have to let her GO!
If you have already tried to talk to her and suggest counseling, then there is nothing else you can do! Maybe later on sometime she might want to get back together, but it doesn't mean you should WAIT for her, either!
Allow yourself to move on if you don't have a future with her, ok? YOU CAN DO IT!
2006-10-29 03:38:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk with her. If she will go to marriage couseling go. If not you have to respect her decision and get a divorce. Good Luck
2006-10-29 03:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her go.
2006-10-29 03:42:35 · answer #9 · answered by McDreamy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋