My boyfriend is such a sweet guy, but will his drinking problem get worse?

Question

One of my boyfriend's most favorite things to do is to get absolutely smashed. Sometimes he can take things too far though. One time we were sitting in his car and he insisted he drink straight out of a vodka bottle we just bought (which we were saving for a party on the weekend). It was just him & I..NO REASON TO GET DRUNK..(because I wasn't planning on getting drunk). When I told him to ease up, he became very angry. He told me to back away because "he might do something he would regret later". It made him a little emotional. I thought it was ridiculous. I ended up taking the bottle (which *I* paid for anyway) and hiding it. It made him even more furious. So I gave it back to him and he chucked it violently into the front seat. I ended up giving in and calming him down. He still took frequent sips and even insisted on drinking straight from the bottle while driving me home (real classy..). Is this a really serious thing or something I should just shrug off as a hissy fit?

This was only a one time situation. He is truly my everything, an amazing guy. He would never hurt me. I think he was just referring that he would get angry with me and explode at me. Never anything physical. He just drinks way too much. He's like a little kid in a toy store when it comes to alcohol.

Answer 1

Hello, your boyfriend has the disease of alcoholism and it is truly a dis-ease. I can understand how you say he is a good guy in every other way. It is when he is drinking or craving a drink that he changes. Not all alcoholics drink everyday. It is possible to separate the alcoholic from the person. First I would like to suggest that if you love him, you might want ot attend al anon. You are not defective for loving him, but you have been effected by his drinking. The people there will understand what you are going through, they too have dealt with the devastating effects of this disease. Please understand that you can not control his drinking and it is not about whether or not he loves you. It is possible for him to love you and still not be able to resist alcohol, he is addicted to it. you can get help for yourself though and learn how to make good decisions on your own behalf. He, on the other hand has to hit his own bottom to seek help. Remember you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. Take very good care of yourself and be careful in any dangerous situation. Al anon has information on their website. Also read the effects of alcoholism on the partner and you will understand why you feel the way you do. I wish you luck in your journey.

Answer 2

Get as far away from this guy as fast as you can.

He is an alcoholic, and a violent one at that.

If you stay, I guarantee you that there will come a day when you look in the mirror after he has used you for a punching bag and you will pray to God to turn back the clock so you can get out before your life and your looks are ruined.

"He would never hurt me." Yes honey, he would, and with both a drinking and an anger problem, it's guaranteed that one day he will. Every woman that this has ever happened to has at one time or another truly believed that their guy was really sweet and would never hurt her.

"even insisted on drinking straight from the bottle while driving me home" Great. He's a drunk driver too. You should have got out of the car and called the cops on him.

He's an alcoholic and you are in denial. Perfect combination for disaster.

What kind of people raised you that you would even think for one second that any of this is normal or ok?

Answer 3

If he doesn't quit drinking, you need to get out. I was able to give my husband an ultimatum. Me or the alcohol. He chose me. Ultimatums don't always work, though. The first thing you need to do is decide if you can handle living with alcoholism. I think you can't, or you wouldn't be posting the question. The next thing you need to do is go to an AL ANON meeting. People there are going, or have gone through the same thing. They know where you are coming from and where you will be headed. They can help you deal with issues and get past them.

Answer 4

my mother would get drunk all the time,my dad left cause of it but also he would drink all the time and they just didn't get along,if u get scared around when he is drinking then don't be around him get out 4 a little while,or may be if u love him u can see if he wants 2 go 2 AA those helped my mom out.do what u feel in your heart do what u think is right,i hope everything works out 4 u.i will pray 4 u.if u ever need any thing look up Sam.

Answer 5

Sounds like he has a drinking problem & anger control problem and that combination usually leads to violence. If you stay with him you are putting yourself in the real likelihood that you are going to get physically abused.

Honestly, I don't see how you can refer to him as a "sweet guy" when he basically threatened physical violence against you. It sounds like you are young and you don't have a lot of dating experience, so you haven't yet figured out that this is not "normal, sweet guy" behavior.

However, the real problem is with you. Because you chose this guy as your BF and you are still with him. It is impossible to change another person that doesn't want to change. But YOU can chose to change.

Answer 6

He's dependent on alcohol which makes him an alcoholic. It won't get better unless he gets sober and deals with the causes of the disease.
Got a clue for you. Your guy cannot be "a sweet guy" and also threaten to do "something he would regret later". You need to get a dose of reality and find a guy who'll respect you and not threaten you with bodily harm. You DO get the picture that your connected to a time bomb, right?

Answer 7

first drinking and driving is very serious, you should value your life more and no its not just a hissy fit,, if he drinks seriously now then it will not change, i know that you may love him but the best thing for you to do is leave, drinking leads to violence and things may happen that they can not remember, but drinking will not stop unless they want to and do you want to live with the constant pain of not knowing when he might snap and hurt you or if he will be driving you home one day while drinking and reck and seriously hurt you or someone else

Answer 8

hear lady u are interior the main poor circumstances a woman could be in 4real and ima tell u dis I had a maximum suitable pal who became in a abusive courting and particular hunny u are in a million and u could lose ur acquaintances and fam cuz of this its no longer worh it u are dropping ur time U can keep ur self And letme tell u this if he hit u now he will do it lower back and lower back do no longer enable this ensue to you and don't look ahead to yet another realitycheck cuz u could no longer stay or u in all probability will yet scarred So do no longer walk RUN RUN far flung from him nothin stable is going to come again out of this he's F_cking wack Oh and he desires professional help regardless of if u in basic terms have been given to verify this as quickly as the hits are gonna shop coming I garantee it

Answer 9

Thats something serious. I think you should try to tell him bout his problem when he is sane and ready to listen to reason.
If this doesnt work then i suggest u do an intervention.
Because i think from ur description he gets a bit crazy over alcohol.
Ths might pose as a major problem later...
Good Luck.

Answer 10

WOW! No, dont shrug this off! Sounds like to me he has a drinking problem already. He should seek help now before the problem worsens!