coming to terms with betrayal?

Question

married for 33 years then my husband left me for another woman.

Answer 1

I wrote this when mine did the same,,,

It doesn’t matter anymore.


I used to sit and wonder to myself,
what it was, I did so wrong.

Could I have treated you different?
or wrote you, a beautiful song.

I loved you with all of my heart,
and I believed, you truly loved me.

You used to say, I was your true love,
and there was no place, you’d rather be.

How could a love so wonderful and pure,
change, from the day we first met.

Was it I, who did you wrong,
or a friend, I will never forget.

But now, it truly doesn’t matter anymore,
why, you hurt and cheated on me.

Because I know, deep in my heart,
It wasn’t I, who cheated on thee.

So I just want you to know,
that if you ever, think of us two.

My life was truly changed, my dear,
and I deserve, a lot better than you.



By: Kenny P aka- Cobra

Answer 2

"Chris",

I have had it happen too before, although NOT as long as you....................................

If this helps, sort out the problems you had with your Husband all those years, IF ANY you can "put your finger on".

Maybe you 2 didn't have good communication between you for years, and ya know it's said that marriage takes work, well could be whatever wasn't working for him, sometimes people give up! Either it being the person can't come to terms with telling the Spouse the truth about his/her feelings, or they're afraid to hurt your feelings and end up straying and you find yourself alone!

Well, if possible, try not to take it personal-------just know that your EX had his problems with the marriage at the time and it was within himself! Have you ever asked him anyway??

That's the whole problem that I'm sensing, that you had communication problems to begin with!!!

But, aslo there are times when couples "outgrow" each other for whatever reasons. WE grow apart.

If you can, confide in a Friend or get some Counseling. You would feel alot better.

I sincerely hope you can come to terms with the problems soon so you can go on living!


Be good to yourself!

Answer 3

That's horrible. I'm sorry for your hurts. Remember, 50 is the new 30, so I'd concentrate on feeling & looking good and when you see your ex-husband, act happy. There are millions of men out there looking for a wonderful woman like you - and it's not your fault your husband left in such a dishonerable way. Don't try to make the ex pay for what he's done in any way EXCEPT in the way you move forward, live well, and being happy without him. The best revenge is living well.

Answer 4

Happened to me after 28yrs of marriage.
First 9mths were hell. It was 3mths before I even told anyone he'd left. For some reason I felt so humiliated and ashamed. Like a complete failure.
Cried constantly, lost almost 3 stone in weight and my kids began to lose patience with me.
What hurt most tho' was his total indifference to my hurt.
After the 1st year had passed I began to at least look like I was getting over it (in reality I wasn't and just wanted him back).
It was at this point that he began to realise what a mistake he'd made.
Did I take him back? Yes.
Have I forgiven him? No.
Will I ever forget what he did? No.
So how is it now? Well, to be honest OK I suppose, on the surface that is. At Least he thinks things are OK but I still hurt so much inside for what he did to me.
Yes I still love him, but I saw another side to him that I never knew existed.
By leaving he belittled everything we ever had together.
Something has changed for me and I'm still not sure what it is.
Maybe the realisation that I made a mistake ..............
not by taking him back but by marrying him in the 1st place.
But to admit that I've wasted most of my adult life is just too much to bear.
Good luck to you. I truly mean it.

Answer 5

Once a cheater always a cheater ! Dosent matter the length of the marriage or the relationship. Move on , your gonna find better love out there girl !

Answer 6

i really feel for you the same happened to me after 18 years of marriage at first i started drinking then playing all the sad songs but at the time i had 4 kids then something clicked i did myself up and try ed to get on with things in time we got back together now 2 more kids later he told me he saw me in the street looking happy and this out of everything hurt his pride to think i could get by without him so what ever you want think about yourself and start to live again your worth it big hug to you

Answer 7

Yes that is tough, especially if you didn't see it coming. Just take heart that there will be somebody else for you. Than laugh at the other woman because she got a cheating bastard who is probably going to leave her too.

Answer 8

After 33 years he is the one who has lost, you can be proud that you still have your dignaty and his balls so twist them till he screems, good luck and if ya looking for someone else all the best

Answer 9

I don't think you can worry yourself with that. Your husband will blame you, but we all know that if he left you, it's cos he's unable to keep to his side of the marriage vows (for better, for worse). If he feels inadequate, that's his fault - you did nothing wrong. Just don't take him back.

Answer 10

That is so very hard for you. But you can and will live again. You may even find it was a good thing in the end. In the meantime surround yourself with friends and activities. Learn to find your life for living. He was not you........you are you..........