A crow was sitting on a branch of a tree with a piece of cheese in her beak. A fox, who had been watching her, set his mind on getting the cheese through trickery. Standing under the tree, he looked up and said, "What a fine bird I see above me! Her beauty is without equal. If only her voice were as sweet as her looks are fair, she ought, without doubt to be Queen of the Birds." The crow was flattered by his words, and to show the Fox that she could sing, she gave a loud caw. Down came the cheese, and the fox, snatching it up, said, "You have a voice, madam, I see; what you want is wits." Just as Aesop's famous fable portrays the slyness of the fox, the Odyssey highlights craftiness, a trait eminently revered by the ancient Greeks. Odysseus, a “man of twists and turns” (1.1), is the epitome of this quality. Although Odysseus was legendary for his extraordinary strength, he relied much more on his quick mind than muscle, a tendency that his encounters proved.
Thanks 4 being patient!
2006-10-29 02:35:12 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
I think it's great...
You need to split it into two parragraphs in my opinion though...the story, and the history
2006-10-29 02:43:35 · answer #1 · answered by JACKiiE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very good. Don't capitalize Fox (... to show the Fox...) and the last sentence isn't quite right. I suggest:
... he relied much more on his quick mind than on his muscle.
(You don't need the "a tendency that his encounters proved." It's awkward and doesn't add anything.)
2006-10-29 02:44:01 · answer #2 · answered by Fall Down Laughing 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you quoting Aesop's Fable directly? If so, you need to add quotation marks, change the inside quotations to single marks, and possibly cite your source. If not, you are fine. But you need a topic sentence to tie this paragraph to the one before it- a transition. Good luck.
2006-10-29 03:00:59 · answer #3 · answered by Jen F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4th line - place comma after doubt (maybe place the word "to" after ought?)
5th line - remove capital from "Fox"
There are several run-on sentences - but overall well written.
I also agree that perhaps, beginning with "Just as Aesop's fable..." a second paragraph would be warranted.
2006-10-29 16:12:09 · answer #4 · answered by Dez 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋