Back in elementry school I had this great friend(we'll call her B). We always hung out and we were a lot alike and we had a ton of fun. We stayed best friends until about the middle of 7th grade when she became friends with a different girl (we'll call her M). So I stayed friends with B even though her and M became close. Now that were older M has totally changed B. B used to be careless and fun and wasnt obsessed with guys. Now shes dating a guy with a lot of problems and shes all concerned with how she looks and she swears every 5 seconds. M has made her this way. I HATE M with everything that I am so just hanging out with both of them is NOT an option. Is my friend worth keeping? Shes just so different now I feel like I dont even know her...
2006-10-29 01:53:44 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Friends split up from time to time. I have a friend that I grew up with since I was five years old. We were friends through elementary, junior high, and high school. We were friends even after high school until he met this trashy girl. She kept hitting on me and I told him about it. He ended up marrying her and he stopped being my friend. He is now going through a divorce and having a lot of problems. But I am still his friend. We have talked a little bit and I let him know that I am still here for him. He was and still is like a brother to me. No matter how many years it has been and no matter what we have been through we are still friends. If you can't do that for your friend then you aren't a friend. You know who you are, so don't change. You sound like you have it together. If you don't like what or who you friend is becoming then get away and wait till she comes to her senses. But if they don't change just chalk it up to experience. It happens. friends come and go. True friends are always there.
2006-10-29 02:03:09 · answer #1 · answered by RIDLEY 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had a few friends that ended up getting into the wrong crowd in high school.
Some were worth keeping, some were not.
The main friend I remember is the one that I had been friends with since 5th grade. I am still friends with her today--20+ years later.
I distanced myself from her during a time when she had a bad-boy boyfriend and a crazy group of friends. I would talk to her once in a while. I hung out with different friends with which I had more in common at that time.
When she straightened herself out, we started hanging out again.
People change, sometimes not for the better, and it is sad. But some people go through phases, get over it, and come back stronger than ever. She might too.
I don't think it is worth ending a friendship over, but focus on the friends you feel more comfortable with for now and see what happens.
2006-10-29 02:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww that is so sad and yet we have to accept the fact that friends, people in general change as time goes on. B. makes up her own mind what she wishes to become and who she wishes to emmulate. I don't believe that M is totally responsible for the manner in which B has changed.
Sometimes we just need to branch out and make new friends.It may be difficult at first. B is not the person that you may wish to spend time with or you may wish to spend separate time with her instead of when she is with M. It might be that she is trying to find her place in life. Have you talked to B about the ways that she has changed from what she was like before.
Have you noticed if she is the same B that she used to be if she is not around M.
I don't know if you can throw away friendship like that.
I think sometimes friends that we have had in the past fade away and new friends are made. Sometimes making that decision may be difficult.
If she wants to be friends with you on a one to one that might be better than having the three of you together.
I do hope that all things will work out as well as making new found friends too.
2006-10-29 02:07:22 · answer #3 · answered by Spirit_Rain_3-SunShineAries 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi lady,
i know, it really hurts a lot, when someone does like that to anyone. believe me, i've experienced it all my life. but now, i've learnt to live with it. because, that's the way, people are now-a-days. they don't care about other's feelings. and trust me, that is how u survive in this big, bad world. ok , now, i'll get to the solution.
see, now, it's finished. don't worry about it. 'cos u r not getting a penny out of worrying about it. isn't it ? r u ? u want to go ahead in ur life or not ? i believe, the answer is a YES. then, please follow my words. the method goes somewhat like this:
you don't look at her. just don't care. whenever she comes in front of you, you just look somewhere else. one point, i don't ask u to completely neglect her. i say that, U don't initiate a conversation. if SHE approaches u or talks to u or says hello to u, u should and must respond to her in ur normal way.
then, if she starts feeling bad, she WILL SURELY approach you and ask u about ur behaviour. then, u tell her, how u felt, all these days. and believe me, ur relationship will be fine from then onwards. but, till then, u don't tell her how, u feel. as she however doesn't care about u, it will be of no use. and for such people, such feelings hold no importance. believe me, i've experienced it.
if she doesn't feel bad, WE DON'T NEED SUCH A FRIEND, WHO HAS NO PLACE FOR OUR FEELINGS. see, she doesn't need u, she is not interested in u. then, why should we need her ? there r millions of other people, who need u and understand u. this time just don't make friends so easily. just don't involve yourself so much into any friendship within a small period. give them plenty of time. if , after sometime, you feel, they r worthy of a good friendship, then , u go ahead. and please make some new friends.
and if this matter starts bothering u and u can't get it out of ur mind, just do something else. watch a movie ( best thing. 'cos while watching a movie, we don't get anything to our mind, except the movie). or play a game, either alone or with ur friends.(computer game or a field game, anything)
u follow these points, and i bet, u will surely improve and learn how to survive.
WITH BEST WISHES
- AP
2006-10-29 02:38:29 · answer #4 · answered by ashwin p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a best-friend since I was 6 when she came to the same high school as I was she all of a sudden was just like B. I dropped her ***. I was a tomboy I did not have time for that. She later came around to talk to me because all the other girls left her and I guess she forgot that I did to but being the friend I was I still gave her small communication but she is not my best-friend any more. Trust me you either leave her or join her!
2006-10-29 02:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Moore 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to your friend B. Tell her how you feel, and tell her that you think M has changed her a lot. B needs to know how you feel about her new friend M, and she needs to know how much she has changed. I wouldn't give up on B just yet, because she will realize sooner or later that M is changing her, and when she does she will feel awful, so you will need to be around to comfort her. Just give it some time, and talk it through with B. Good guys always win in the end!
2006-10-29 02:13:14 · answer #6 · answered by Becca M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may act that way whenever shes around anyone else, but when you 2 are alone, doesnt she still act like this? If so, she has made such a change that she may never go back. Unless there are still some good qualities in her that you once found appealing, maybe letting her go would be a good idea.
2006-10-29 01:56:52 · answer #7 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new friend. Tell "B" that you think that she has changed tell her what's changed about her. Then find a new friend. Hang out with new people. Be nice to "M" and show her that you don't really care that she took your friend away. (But you really do) Maybe "B" wants to see you that way. SO don't fulfill her dream so that she can be happy and you can be sad. Tell both of them and find someone else to hang out with. Good Luck :)
2006-10-29 02:17:05 · answer #8 · answered by SuWizzle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you are a true friend then you should tell her how her changes are affecting your friendship. M can't make B do anything she doesn't want to. B has to make mistakes for herself. If you don't want to hang with them both, then just don't. Maybe just call your friend or invite her over sometimes.
2006-10-29 02:00:04 · answer #9 · answered by freeme529 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a friend who cheated with my husband it took me almost13 years to forgove her and him but you knwo what when you have a best friend and now they are reall not matter the leanght of time you can still reconncet so give it some time. I love my girlfriend her and i raised her our children toghether and we just talked about a month ago and the conection isstill there. good luck. remeber you have to decided if it is what you want and how much youre friendsship means.
2006-10-29 02:02:39 · answer #10 · answered by furby_lost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋