Should I feel threatened?

Question

I'm getting ready to graduate and become a spcial needs/elementary teacher. I want to teach in the county next to me, but there are a couple people there that hate my guts and they are parents too. When I first attended college I went my first year to a community college there (county next to me.) One girl hates my guts beause she heard I called her a racial slur kind of name(which I didn't) One girl hates me because She was harassing my boyfriend (stalking him) and I told her about it. She then started stuff with me at a ballgame (fight) This is high school stuff I know, but these people are still holding a grudge. Thishas been 4 years ago, but I seen the both of them about 2 years ago and they tried to start trouble with me again. Can they as parents prevent me from working here? If they start stuff should I press charges? How can I take care of this problem?

Answer 1

You have had so many responses, but I wanted to have a look in too, so hope you don't mind?.

I was appalled to read that people in your community are resorting to bullying behaviours that seem to have gone on for some time now. It is an extremely horrid experience to go through and I know what that feels like because I had been bullied growing up and once as an adult in a job I recently left.

There is clearly a lot of resentment at the fact that you have come to make something of yourself and this means that you have moved on with your life wherease others haven't and they are continuing to bully you because they themselves feel inadequate and want you to be brought down to their level.

Well don't be and you have every right to be in your community as they do so don't allow them to push you out. They have no right to make you feel this way and nothing you have done, has deserved this kind of treatment. They are projecting onto you what they themselves are feeling inadequate and is their problem - not yours.

Well done for the hard work you have put into getting your degree and for wanting to do a job that is both demanding as it will be rewarding. Your confidence has gotten you through this very rough ride, but am sure that it has affected some of your self-esteem too. Get that back and by asserting to yourself that you have the right to do with your life as you want and if you want to teach in this community, then do it, as no one else has the right to take that away. They have no powers over you even though it seems that they do, they do not.

It is a projection only, and these people in their own misery and suffering need compassion. See them for who they really are, as broken objects that need fixing and that you are prepared to feel compassion for them, but that you are not going to accept the abuse they are throwing out. It isn't easy to ignore people like this and I myself have gone through it, but if they see that you are aloof to it, they will tire sooner rather than later.

If a child is thrashing it's legs and arms about, you ignore it - it wants attention and you are not going to give it any attention. This is how you can see these people and what they are doing is exactley as a two year old would do. If you stop and give them your time and attention, they will think that they are succeeding over you and will do it some more. Walk away - ignore.

They will stop once they get the message that you are not going to have any of it and if anyone assaults you, inform the police right away.

I know that this isn't the kind of answer you may want, but it is the most effective way you can take your powers back and show to them that you are not going to be treated in this way by anyone. They are projecting their stuff onto you because they are unhappy themselves and the only way you can solve the problem is to steer clear of them as much as possible and that means acting aloof from it all.

They will tire of it once they know that you are not listening, you are not responding to any of it because that is what they want and makes them do it even more. If the problem continues, then standing up them may be the only other way, but I don't recommend this unless it is absoloutley necessary. What these people want, is for you to take on board their baggage and you are not going to.

I would certainly talk to your college counsellor about the problem and see if there are any self-esteem courses you can take in the meantime to get your confidence back and any excercises you can do to help you reinforce the fantastic qualities you know about yourself to be. You are truly courageous and are not going to let these irresponsible people continue to do what they do. It is a cycle of abuse some communities thrive, but that is there issue, not yours.

Perhaps living outside of the area will help and just working itself in the community if you drive?. But you shouldn't be forced by anyone to leave your community because of their abusive behaviour. Don't let their grudge become your grudge as they will pick up on it and try and use it against you. Feel compassion that they are so bended in this way and that they are the way they are because they are very unhappy and thwarted people. But try not to engage or react to their behaviours.

Bullying.org will give you some useful tips and advice. Hope I have been able to help, but they will stop once they realize you are not going to participate in any of it. Remain aloof and professional and go for that job because you deserve it.

Answer 2

Hi there ... Some people never do grow up whether they are in highschool or parents . I have noticed that grudges seem to be a thing of the future.
Might it be possible to get in touch with these people to try to straighten out the problem as it stands right now.
You might start with an invitation to a coffee shop or somewhere public. Maybe one person at a time and talk about what the misinterpretation of what occurred was.
Your future does depend upon the way they react as they can cause difficulties for you. Whether you press charges or not the unwanted publicity will harm your possible employment as a special needs /elementary teacher.
You may wish to contact them via phone or possibly an invitation by mail.
I wish you luck and hope that they have compassion
that they will listen to what you have to say to them.
Good luck
I hope it all works for the best
SunShineAries

Answer 3

A special needs/elementary teacher is an adult. I would not allow them to interfere in your decision as to where to apply for employment. Your job and helping needy children should be your top priority, and this should be the top consideration. Be strong, be an adult, and be a role model for them.

Should they say anything to you concerning this issue, be an adult, and set them straight. Tell them that you refuse to let their childishness from years ago and from things that didn't even happen stand in your way in your career.

Again, tell the girl you never made a racial slur, and if she still chooses to believe it, then that is her problem.

Tell the girl who was stalking your old boyfriend, that that incident happened years ago, and it has no importance to you any longer. Tell her the sooner she gets that out of her mind and gets along with her life, the better she will be for it.

Good luck to you!

Answer 4

If the county you want to work in really needs a special ed teacher, then they are gonna have to come up with some pretty damning evidence against you. What you have described is childish. I doubt it can/would be taken seriously.
If in the event that you do start to work there then they come to you causing problems, go to the police. The more that is reported against them, the better. It will seem more like they are the instigators (which they are) in this mess.

Answer 5

The ruling Sadducees noticed their vigour, revenue, and authority threatened by means of Jesus. Their allies the Pharisees might must withstand the empty hypocrisy they'd cultivated. In the dominion of God, the devout rulers might be demoted to humble servants. There used to be obviously a satisfaction and stubbornness component in rejecting the Christ and conspiring to position him to demise. Most desired their worldly vigour and admiration greater than they desired a well dating with God (exceptions incorporated Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea, mystery Christians a few of the elite). Cheers, Bruce

Answer 6

Unless they are in the school system (i.e., teach, superintendent, etc.) they can't keep you out. If they try to keep you out, you can contact a lawyer and sue them for slander or restraint of trade. Also, if you are so worried about them, why not find a job in another county and not worry about them at all.

Answer 7

Behave professionally. These people are now married with kids. Mention your concern to the principal, though. Maybe he can have you guys all sit and talk about how important it is to be good examples for the kids. The principal will be happy you are mentioning this to him/her. When it comes to problems like this- they normally hear about it last.... they hear about it when it's too late.

Answer 8

They arent the ones HIRING you !! Your resume will show your ability to perform the job and the career you are applying for.
Your work performance will show how well you do your job. Concentrate on your job...not on childish statements,and rumors. "IF" is a huge word for being 2 letters long.

Answer 9

Too much trouble for the present.
Start your future over someplace else fresh.
Without all that bad history you will do better than
always looking over your shoulder.
With time under your belt,then you come back.

Answer 10

Nope. You should not be frightened but you should face them and talk to them on what you are feeling and resolve the problem as soon as possible.