as some of you may know i am 7 weeks pregnant. I finally plucked up the courage to the the father yesterday (we were only ever friends), but before i could get a word in, he announces that he's now seeing someone else and we should have some time apart. I didn't want to tell him after that because it would seem as if i was trying to 'trap' him.
I have decided to have an abortion (before all of this) as this isn't the right time for either of us to be contemplating starting a family.
Should i tell him, or just go ahead without him?
P.s, jesus won't save me,
I have made my decsion and no amount of guilt tripping is going to change my mind.
2006-10-29 01:52:41 · 40 answers · asked by spikycacti 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do whatever makes you happy hun.xxx
2006-10-29 01:55:18 · answer #1 · answered by Kate 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no guilt trips here - i promise - its the last thing you need anyways
this truly is a difficult time in your life and a hard hard decision to make - i know, believe me.....
sounds like whatever decsion you decide to take, you would have been on your own anyway. if you became a mother then he'd not be there for you and if he was then it wouldnt be to his full capacity as a father i.e. he might only be a part-time dad as he has a new g/f to spend time/money on, horrible to say but men are like that at times......
either way, if you do or dont tell him, you have to never ever see or speak to him again after the abortion asit is VERY VERY difficult to do 'small talk' after being through that and you certainly wouldnt want to hear about his new g/f or have him round yours if he has a fight with her.......
gather the support of close friends pref female and make your decision around that support. You've probably got a support network around you and they will club together for you no matter what you decide.
Having a baby or choosing not to is NEVER easy but your life will change after it all. Have faith that you will get through it.......
hope you are ok xxx
2006-10-29 01:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by clairejoolz78 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didnt see your previous question, but if you have made up your mind, with advice, to have an abortion then i think you should go for it without delay. I hope you have been able to talk to a professional about your possible feelings afterwards.
I can't see what good it would do to tellthe father. You are going to have the abortion anyway.
I personally dont like the idea of abortion, but i have never been in your position and therefore do not have the right to judge.
Whatever you do or don't do, there is no need to turn your back on Jesus/God. He knows and understands all.
I hope it works out for you, whatever your ultimate decision.Take care of yourself.
2006-10-29 01:05:17 · answer #3 · answered by Caroline 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have made the right decision based upon what is best for you. Value yourself and your life.
You don't have to tell anybody.
Specially trained educators at women's health clinics can talk with you in private. You may bring someone with you. You will discuss your options — adoption, parenting, and abortion. You may be asked if someone is pressuring you to have an abortion.
You can get abortion information and assistance at Planned Parenthood and other family planning centers, women's health centers, youth centers, and departments of health or social services. Or you can call the National Abortion Federation hotline: 1-800-772-9100.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-29 01:20:29 · answer #4 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor Spiky. I don't know how close you are/were with your friend but I think he has the right to know and you shouldn't be the only one suffering. If you don't tell him and he finds out, he might make a scene and that will only make it harder for you. Call him or text him and tell him you need to talk to him and assure him you are not trying to get him back. Tell him what happened and what you decided to do. He's not likely to try to talk you out of it but he will for sure be careful not to let this happen again.
I don't know what your financial situation is or how much this is going to cost you but he should pay his share no matter what.
I am in no way judging you and I know you will be more careful in the future. This can happen to anyone and no one has the right to judge you.
2006-10-29 01:10:02 · answer #5 · answered by IC 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should do whatever is best for you - but I think he ought to be told what's happening. He should realise you're not telling him to hold onto him; if he finds out later it could cause trouble.
And don't worry, you aren't 'lost' - you simply found yourself in an unfortunate situation and have to deal with it in your own way; just be absolutely sure before you go ahead. I've read that some women bitterly regret having an abortion later in life, but am sure there must be many who didn't have one and their lives have been ruined.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
2006-10-29 01:08:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your choice my dear,and you are right, Jesus was a long time ago and different social circumstances, don't let him influence you. It would make sense to inform your now ex, if only to let him know that a) you were not lying and b) the consequences of your actions , maybe (and it is a maybe) he will be more careful with whoever else he has relationships with. For yourself, make sure you take care of yourself and I hope you have some good friends with you to help you in what must be a traumatic period in your life. Good luck
2006-10-29 01:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by wolfie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you I really do. having made your decision for all the right reasons I hope. The only thing I think you need to ask is "can you live with not telling him". People will tell you he has a right to know and some will say ***k him. The moral thing to do is to tell him, explain your decision and hope he will understand why. But then you ask yourself "what if he wants to keep the baby". These are all questions you need to take into consideration and just remember, whatever you do ,you have got to live with it. Its not much I know but I hope it helps.xxxxx
2006-10-29 01:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by moo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As Katie said, the important thing is that you do what you feel is best for you. As long as you have someone you can talk to and confide in about what you're going through - whether a good friend or a professional counsellor - no one else needs to know, not even the father (and I say that as a man myself),
2006-10-29 01:57:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a terrible dilemma you poor thing! i believe life is precious and abortions should only ever be considered under extremely exceptional circumstances, have you thought maybe it was meant to be and maybe a chance for you to make a go of it with him,i think you might regret it afterwards if you go ahead with the abortion without telling him.
2006-10-29 01:24:46 · answer #10 · answered by Amber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you want.
Youi have made your mind up to have an abortion as you feel you aren't ready to have a family.
Ignore the father, and most of all, ignore all the over the top christians on here who want you to have this baby, its not up to them, its your body and you decide what happens with it..not "god" or "jesus"
Good luck with everything :)
2006-10-29 01:16:54 · answer #11 · answered by Rosa M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋