my hubby gets 2 days off a week and he would rather spend it out with his mates for aleast 12 hours a day when i ring him and ask where he is he goes mad all i want is him to spend some time at home with his family am i so wrong to want to see himand spend some time on our own without kids around i got take drugs i dont drink i dont play behind his back im a good mum perhaps i should treat him the same way its the same every weekend i hate the weekends
2006-10-29 01:36:45 · 36 answers · asked by LISA T 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sumtimes u have 2 sit back & look at what u have is it love or just having sum1 there or not! 2 wrongs dont make a right but i think u should have sum time out go 2 a very very very nice sister 4 a while make time 4 u let them get on with it xxxxxxx
2006-10-29 19:36:56 · answer #1 · answered by hayley m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you don't have a problem. There is nothing wrong with wanting him to spend time with the family. You need to figure out a way where you's both get what you want. Maybe one day a weekend should be family day where your whole family spends time together doing something that you all enjoy. The let him go out with his friends the other day, or invite them over for a bbq or a get to gether. That way he is with his family but still gets time to have a social life. He has to understand that family is important as well as friend. Try to expalin this to him. Good Luck and hope it all works out for you.
2006-10-29 01:42:32 · answer #2 · answered by rach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has his priorities all wrong, yes everyone needs their own space sometimes, space to hang out, but when you get married and have kids your first priority is your family, and he's neglecting that fact.
Maybe you should sit down and talk to him when he's not out and not been drinking and explain how you feel and how the kids need his time too, and if that doesn't work with seak family counselling or issue him with an ultimatum. You work 24/7 with the children, he needs to bare some of that responsibility and he needs to give you time and attention too.
And no I don't think you should do the same, because it would be the kids that suffered, not him.
Hope things work out for you x
2006-10-29 01:41:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why are you married to him then? Was it like this in the beginning? You need to find other things to do while he is out with his friends. Maybe he needs time alone to decompress after the work week, even though 12 hours is excessive.
If he doesn't want to spend time with his wife and children, there is a problem. Either he needs to grow up or he isn't happy being at home.
2006-10-29 01:58:34 · answer #4 · answered by neinmom2one 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your not the one with the problem, your totally in the right for wanting to spend time with him, and I think it's wrong that he's being so selfish and not wanting to spend time with you. I can understand why you hate the weekends.
I think if you can get him to go, marriage counceling would be a huge step in the right direction. Because he needs to get his priorities in order, he needs to stop thinking so much of himself, and start thinking of you, your feelings and needs, and also about the kids. Because if he's treating you this way, when your kids grow up, they are going to think that it's ok to treat people the same way.
Hope that this helps.
Take care and God Bless.
2006-10-29 01:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what it tells me is that he is finding excuses to not to be there, when that happens it is a sign that things are not alright at home between you and him. something is driving him away from his family by his own choice. because he wants to be anywhere but home. my dad said that when a man was looking for reasons not to be home, that the marriage is nearing its end. he is just trying to find a way to do it without causing a lot of problems. this does not imply that he is fooling around. but means that the love that should be there may not be, and that it might be to late to rebuild it. sometimes its time and circumstances that destroy a relationship.
2006-10-29 01:48:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him: "Dear, I am off with my mates next weekend. Don't ask me with whom, nor the time I'll be back. And yes, the roast dinner will need doing, and the kids will need bathing etc. Enjoy". He'll soon think twice - if not - your marriage is doomed. If he loved and respected you, he would stay out with his mates for less time and spend more in with you. He married you, not his poxy mates.
2006-10-29 06:19:24 · answer #7 · answered by ribena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he has the problem and he doesn't want to be at home for some reason or other, try talking to him ask him y he doesn't spend time with u, was he always like that? if not something in your relationship has changed and he probably doesn't know how to handle it and the best way for him is to keep away.
2006-10-29 03:02:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make plans to go out. Leave before he does, that way he
has to make arrangements for the sitter. Stay out later than hubby, so he has to pay for the sitter. He just might
get the point. Whats good for the goose is good for the
gander !
2006-10-29 01:52:28 · answer #9 · answered by wHaT eVeR 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him a taste of his own medicine, when ge gets in from work on a friday nite just be ready to go. make arangements to go and visit a friend leave him with the kids!
He'll soon start to respect you
2006-10-29 05:20:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋