2006-10-29 00:58:05 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good question.
Never ever marry someone that loves you but that you do not love. I got married to a man who adored me and treated me well, and I liked and respected him, and loved in a way but I was never 'in love' with him. There's a big difference. I married him because I had been through a lot of hurt in the past and had been treated very badly by someone that I had totally worshipped. I thought that being in love could only ever lead to more pain because it clouded my judgement and I had loved someone that was not at all right for me. I thought that a relationship with a good stable person would work out and I would eventually fall in love.
Anyway, my husband and I were happy in a sense for a while but then I fell head over heels for someone else, who felt the same about me, and I knew then that my marriage was a mistake and I would never be happy. I tried to make it work but I started to resent my husband and felt trapped, and he could see that I was unhappy and it tore him apart. I had to leave him for my own purely selfish reasons, and also because I don't think he would have been happy once he knew that I could never love him the way I had fallen for this other person. What I did to him was horrible because he did not deserve it, he deserved to marry someone who truly loved him.
On the other hand, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who I loved that did not return my feelings. I could never trust them, especially after my own experience. I think the only way a marriage can work is if the two people love and respect each other equally.
2006-10-29 02:33:34 · answer #1 · answered by Sophie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great question!
If you marry the one you love and the feeling is not completely mutual, you will turn untrustworthy. Wondering if she is naturally out looking for what you have.
If you marry one who loves you but the feeling is not completely mutual, you will do well for a long time , that is till the one you've been waiting for comes along. Then your heart is toast!
Listen, if you have to choose between the worst of these two evils, I would go for being with the one who loves me. Reason is that after awhile you will learn to respect her, that respect turns to like, like turns to love. Sounds like a movie I once watched. People have been doing this for years. It's called an arranged marriage.
We both know the ideal love is one between two people that love each other equally, right?
2006-10-29 01:16:04 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never be happy if you marry someone just because they love you. You will wake up every morning regretting them. On the other hand, it depends on who the person is that you love and want to marry. They may not always be the best choice either. The best thing is to be independent so that you can pick and choose.
2006-10-29 01:09:16 · answer #3 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer's simple - BOTH!! One way relationships are NEVER going to work out. Would you marry someone you don't love purely on the fact they love you or someone you love who doesn't feel the same way? Course not - if you have any sense at least.
2006-10-29 01:01:01 · answer #4 · answered by mancunian_nick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is supposed to be equal. If one is in love, and the other is not, you will be truely unhappy. There is no reason to rush and get married. When you find someone you love, and that person loves you the same, and you BOTH want to get married, it is meant to be. NEVER marry someone you do not want to marry. Its foolish.
2006-10-29 01:07:15 · answer #5 · answered by Brown Beauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should only marry some one you love and some one that loves you in the same way. dont have second best
2006-10-29 01:02:05 · answer #6 · answered by debbie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry someone that can return the feelings you have for them. You can't marry someone that loves you if when don't love them, and you can't marry someone that you love when they don't love you back...
2006-10-29 01:02:34 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love should come from both sides. However in the longrun when you are both old, wrinkly, and can no longer perform sexually all you have is friendship. Make sure that there is both of that present and you should be good just remember every marriage has hard times its how you deal with those hard times that wil either make you or break you.
2006-10-29 01:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by Tanya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should only marry if you are both in love with each other and it's something you both want.
2006-10-29 01:01:25 · answer #9 · answered by ~*~frankie~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should marry someone you love, he would just have to love you more. I am divorced, I made the mistake of loving my ex more than I loved myself. I loved him more than he was ever capable of loving anyone, except himself. When they love you more they give more of themselves. At least I did. Hopefully the 2nd time around I will find that someone.
2006-10-29 01:07:31 · answer #10 · answered by mari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋