I have been married and faithful to my hubby since I was 16!I'm now 20 and am probably the most sexually repressed person of that age I know!I never got it very often...and when I did,it wasn't 4 very long ,but I didn't mind as long as I got it.Which in the first few months(literally) was at least once a night.After that,it gradually descended to about twice a week..........to sometimes once every week and a half to 2! In only 3 years!..I look better than I did(my appearance has actually improved in the last 6months).The more it goes down the less Iask 'cause Iknow I'll get pushed away or turned down.On top of being only 20,I'm a very sensual person.I find myself Mentally leaning towards other men(fantasizing,infatuation,almost to the point of self pleasure)..I've actually become emotionally invested in someone else the past year.All they did was act like theywere attracted to me(sexually and emotionally),open a few doors and pull out a few chairs andI fell hard 'cause I don't get
2006-10-28 22:00:05 · 6 answers · asked by Direktor 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've never been traeyed that way y him(in fact I dont ever remember any chivalry as far as opend doors or pulled out chairs from him).I don't want to cheat and I've thought on it but I'm not even sure if I'd go thru with it(I think I'd be 2 scared)..but I think I'm getting there.This person makes me feel beautiful and smart and treats me like a lady.....I've opened up several times to huby and my honest open words fall on deaf ears.What to do?
2006-10-28 22:05:46 · update #1
I've never been traeyed that way y him(in fact I dont ever remember any chivalry as far as opend doors or pulled out chairs from him).I don't want to cheat and I've thought on it but I'm not even sure if I'd go thru with it(I think I'd be 2 scared)..but I think I'm getting there.This person makes me feel beautiful and smart and treats me like a lady.....I've opened up several times to huby and my honest open words fall on deaf ears.What to do?
2006-10-28 22:06:33 · update #2
When you marry too young and for the wrong reasons...this is what happens. You're focusing on sex too much and you have to consider that decrease in the sex drive happens after marriage. Just because you think that you can go out and bang every guy that you feel like, just because you feel like it...doesn't make it a good thing. You don't have to talk to your husband...you have to communicate with him. These are two different things. Ask him why he's not that interested in sex as you are, is the work disturbing him, does he not find you attractive, is something you're doing putting him off? Do indulge in more foreplay, try to get him in the mood by initiating it yourself..don't wait for him (it doesn't matter who initiates it really) Try new positions, sexy lingerie, harmless sex toys, light bondage etc. Ask him what he likes, don't just lie back and expect him to make all the effort. If you want more sex, you have to be willing to make the effort of making it more fun for him so that he'll indulge you more. As for this other man, what kind of 'good' man is he that goes after a married woman? Doesn't that tell you about his principles and that's he's really only going to use you. As for chivarly, what does it matter if your husband loves you and looks after you. Don't have an affair, it will be the last thing that you do to kill your marriage and its never a good idea...no matter how sex starved you feel you are. Why not focus all this energy on your husband instead and if nothing works, pleasure yourself...women generally find that they turn themselves on better than their spouses make love to them!
2006-10-28 22:50:06 · answer #1 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you got married too young. Regardless, you should seek marriage counseling if you want this marriage to last. Maybe there is more to the story than you are providing. Where is he these other night? It is unnatural for a guy that age to drop off in activity desire so soon.
2006-10-29 05:19:37 · answer #2 · answered by Mirus Era 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As time goes on lovemaking seems to slow a bit,but not stop.If he doesn't care enough to hear you and try to make things better,I think he may be falling out of love with you.I know this is a hard time for you and I wish you the best.
2006-10-29 05:32:06 · answer #3 · answered by want2wild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My math isnt that good but here goes:
youth+marriage= 85%divorce rate.
experience+marriage in the modern world=66%divorce rate.
You need out of this one. The 20s are the best times that you will have. I apologize to your man but...Run wild.Leave him and run wild.
2006-10-29 06:03:59 · answer #4 · answered by James S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree that you have got to find out first what's up with your husband. your own feelings and frustrations are quite natural, and they will only get worse and end up ruining your marriage if you don't find an answer. confront your husband and don't back down, make him talk. be prepared for the worst, but if you really want the marriage to work, don't give up hope that it can be worked out.
2006-10-29 05:25:44 · answer #5 · answered by domangelo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard that men that use that kind of old fashioned chivery are very controlling. That may be while you feel cornered.
Get a seperation first.
2006-10-29 05:18:05 · answer #6 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋