i have a girlfiend that i love so much. We have been together for two years.She has a child from a previous relationship. We constantly fight over disiplinary issues when it comes to her child. I love her child but I feel like she spoils her child and she needs to put her foot down sometimes. She gets defensives and gives in to her child spoiled ways. What should i do? Im love with her. Can we work it out?
2006-10-28 20:45:33 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are in a difficult position. Do you live with her and the child? If this is something that you think will effect the relationship long term, you need to sit down and talk to her, tell her how you feel. You need to tell her that you feel that you should both be able to work together with discipling the child and that you are wanting to help her. Tell her you don't like to see her getting walked on by her child. And if she refuses to budge at all, then maybe things weren't meant to be for the two of you. When my husband and I were dating, I already had two boys from a previous marriage. I allowed him to discipline the boys, but we always talked about it and came to an agreement first and we still do today. I believe you could work it out if both parties are willing to. That is going to be up to you and her. Best of Luck!
2006-10-28 20:55:13 · answer #1 · answered by ddbach1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a tough situation... the harsh reality is: she is the child's mother and you are not the father... so your love for each other aside, you technically have no right to insist on any particular disciplinary method.
Generally speaking, I find that people in your situation often times try to make suggestions while the issue is ongoing - or at least may have just recently concluded. This is a tough time for any parent... especially a single mother who is facing the possibility of someday sharing parenting responsibilities with someone other than the other bioligical parent.
My suggestion: Have a talk with her about the future. If you don't intend to have a long and stable future with her, then she has no serious reason to take your opinions into consideration. In your discussion about the future... it is appropriate to discuss your views on discipline and how each of you would have to modify your positions on the issue in order to maintain a harmonious balance in the family you hope to someday form.
At that point... if discipline is such a hot button that it will cause a break in the relationship, you'd be better off knowing now than after a more serious committment has been made.
2006-10-28 20:56:52 · answer #2 · answered by Rev T L Clark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember the child came first and yes sometimes the mother will favor the child and spoil that child, so try to talk or work it out but its no easy.
2006-10-28 20:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by mafiaqueen1900 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A single child is often spoiled by a mother that doesnt mean they grow up bad .Ask your girlfriend how she will let you help her raise the child give her time to think about it explaining you just want to help her too.
2006-10-28 20:53:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may just have to accept that is how she going to raise her child. That is how she was raising her child before you and that is how she is going to raise her child after you. Talk to her again and let her know how you feel.
2006-10-28 20:50:03 · answer #5 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats her child, let her do what she wants.. but give her advice if shes not doing the right thing.
2006-10-28 21:06:43 · answer #6 · answered by detchie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple. It is her child and you are only her boyfriend. She is free to parent that child however she wishes.
2006-10-28 20:49:29 · answer #7 · answered by stlcardsgal86 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
teach her how to discipline her child or hire someone who can help discpline the child
2006-10-28 20:53:33 · answer #8 · answered by lovelyaquariusfairy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's her child. Yes, the child can't do whatever.... Does she ever watch "Supernanny"?
2006-10-28 20:48:32 · answer #9 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mother is mother all over the world,do not forget that world
2006-10-28 20:57:36 · answer #10 · answered by beauty girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋