I have a friend who drinks a 12 pack of beer a day. No one likes her. She's gained a lot of weight. She feels that she's going to die. She lives in a crappy apartment and sleeps in trash because she never cleans it up. She has no friends and the friends that she did have she keeps at an arms length. She lies about everything all the time. She doesnt really take care of herself, and she's in debt up to her ears. Plus she lives in fear that people will find out about her.
I am one of those people that see's the good in her. I see potential, but I see that her laziness will do her in. She's funny, smart when she puts her mind to it, and she is a devoted freind when she feels safe enough to play wingman in someones life. I have tried to help her but she, for some reason shuns the help.
How can a person like this change into a healthy person? I've run out of options for her, but I don't want to abandon hope for her.
What can I do and How can she change if that's possible?
2006-10-28 18:50:09 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
First of all, she has to have a job to afford the 12 packs a day, so what kind of work does she do. If she is not working and gets other support, maybe you could inform the payer how she is spending the money and not paying bills,ie mom/dad/ex/,etc.
She is in a state of depression and really needs a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to her.
Talk with her and let her know that you care. She probially thinks you are going to turn your back on her since all the rest of the "friends" have done so. Make sure she knows you are going to be there.
Get her out of the house. Take her up town or just riding around. You would be suprised at how much better she would feel after being in the sunshine.
She is going to get worse before getting better and you are going to be her ROCK. These coming months are hard on anyone that has any kind of mental illiness. And that is exactly what it is. An illiness. The cold days and nights are hard on a healthy person, but those that are depressed, it is harder.
She is shunning the help because she doesn't think she needs any. Let her know that when she decides to get help, you will be there.
If you know any of her family, talk with them and tell them what is going on. They need to know too.
Watch her, if she starts talking about hurting herself, call for help. There is usually a number in the front of the phone book to call if a person talks about sucide. Most depressed people start thinking there is no help, but as long as there is a breath in a body, there is help.
Also, pray for her. Alot!!!!!!! and get the church to pray for her also. They don't have to know who you are requesting prayer for. Just say a friend needs it.
Her laziness is probially from her being over weight. Get her out to walk with you some time. That will help out alot too.
2006-10-28 19:26:15 · answer #1 · answered by Mary D 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could try taking her to an AA meeting. She could get some therapy there (which she is screaming for, by the way) and they could help her turn her life around - but only if she really wants that. As the saying goes: "You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."
2006-10-28 19:24:58 · answer #2 · answered by rascal 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I sounds like she is pretty severely depressed. If this is the case, she needs to see a therapist. The only problem though, is that this will only help her if she wants the help. You are obviously very caring person who wants to help, but understand that you cannot change her, only be there for her, that is, if she will let you.
2006-10-28 19:03:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
that's difficult in the journey that your age is over 22. although that's available. you won't be able to be "caught in" your self. attempt and get help from something you think. The bible, a psychologist , a chum, a e book or the rest. the optimal element is you ought to threat. save the main useful characters to your self and forget approximately the others. that's significant to not replace your individual self(the single you're proud to be) in the time of your attempt. only threat the modifications. do issues without questioning in the 2nd. of direction in case you think they are appropriate.
2016-10-16 12:34:58 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know if your a christian or what but whatever religion you are prayer and support are the two best things you can do. it sounds to me like she is depressed just dont stay on her case about it or she might push you away
2006-10-28 19:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by edward m 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She will only change if she wants to change. Nothing you do can make her change.
2006-10-28 18:58:12 · answer #6 · answered by z_o_r_r_o 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all SHE has to want to change............you can't change/help her if she doesn't want to.
2006-10-28 18:59:34 · answer #7 · answered by Mommy911 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋