We have known each other only for a few days, but I have made up my mind to ask her to marry me. Here's the plan: I have a house under construction and it's nearing completion. I haven't told her anything about the house. I am thinking of taking her to the house, have her open the front door, show her around, ask her if I can hold her hand and propose.
Ques:
1. It will be around the middle of December that I'll be taking her to the place. Is 2 months of knowing each other a little too early?
2. I went through a lot of difficulties during the process of house construction... loan approval, land acquisition, etc, and I didnt borrow a single penny from my Dad or my friends. I cut down on my personal expenses, lived on a strict budget, and it has finally paid off. I wish to share this with her when I am showing her around the house because I want her to know. Will it sound like I am bragging or is it alright?
3. Should I keep the ring box closed or open when giving it to her.
2006-10-28 17:42:05 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The first 2 times I asked this question, I got answers with respect to western lifestyles and practices. I am from Chennai, India, a very conservative society. Dating/Hanging out much is ruled out. I dont know how many of you are familiar with the concept of arranged marriages in India. I know it sucks, but thats the way it is. Divorces in India happen but are not common, maybe about 2-3% tops. You can google it if you dont believe me. Main reason is fear of society's remarks and limited scope of finding another life partner. Perhaps, its just the Indian way of learning to live with whatever you have and get.
2006-10-28 17:42:16 · update #1
With such a short acquaintance, will it be a little too early to propose? Especially if she also is an Indian from a conservative family? Dating & rejection are quite common in west but in India, people still hesitate for these. Unless her responses were all positive till this time, she may not fall over you for your "self-made" image. I apperciate your attitude to be firecely independent and your outlook on marriages. Since the lady psychology works differently from yours, dont be surprised if you dont get a favourable answer when you show her around and propose.But I like your boldness.....all the best!!!
2006-10-28 18:11:10 · answer #1 · answered by THE WORRIER 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of, sorry, but I am not an Indian girl. But I have a very close friend whom i also work with and she is a Hindu girl from Dubai. We helped her to meet a man, and introduced the man to her father. I'm not sure if it is the same in your culture, but maybe you should ask her if you have her permission to speak to her father. Certainly she will know what it's all about. And in this situation, where you really do not have the option of dating, no, two months is not too soon. The man we introduced my friend to spoke to her father after they had known each other for about a month, and before that they didn't see each other at all. They are getting married in December. At least now they are allowed to go out and do things together. First you should find out if she even wants you to speak with her dad. I think that you should explain about how you got the money for the house only if she asks, or somehow it comes up in conversation. She will know that you worked hard simply because you have a house at all, without you making yourself sound like you are looking for a "pat on the back". As for the ring box, you should open it as you hand it to her. Turn it towards her and hold it out as you open it. make sure the ring is tucked in well first. Good Luck!!
2006-10-28 18:12:18 · answer #2 · answered by pickigirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an Indian girl...and i know where you are coming from. From your question, I can tell that you are really eager! Maybe it a little too soon...you should get to know each other a little more and a little better before you decide that "SHE" is the one! Often when we date or are courting, we are always at our best. I would suggest you wait a little longer before you propose...maybe you could propose on Valentine's day instead!
About the house.....just tell her you own it....I think you should spare her the rest of the details. It doesn't concern her and really she shouldn't know....not at the time of proposing. Maybe once you two are comfortable in the relationship, you can blurt it all out!!!!!!
Ring in or out of the box, doesn't matter! It is the intention that does! GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-28 19:02:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do ask her to marry you if you're so sure and showing her the house is a perfect way to propose. Also take the ring out of the box and show it to her with your palm open instead of the old style of the box. Don't brag about budgeting but do tell her that you did this house all by yourself. You could also propose by saying that this is the house that you envision spending the rest of your life in...with your life partner and could that be her? Please? Also don't take it too hard if she rejects you because it might be too soon for her.
2006-10-28 18:00:59 · answer #4 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u love her is good ,house is a security , her parents will be more consurned than the girl , go ahead , u r a smart man but. if u love a girl give here a house to live is not enough u need to give her here space and freedom to express after marriage too. before marraige every boy will do any thing to get the girl ,but the life starts only after marraige ,the truth is u can build a house but only a lady makes it a home(sweethome). so best of luck
2006-10-28 19:03:02 · answer #5 · answered by rita 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi chennai boy your idea is good but when u r givin her da ring put it in her finger and u can tell her about how u got the house made but not during the special day after she has said yes n on cloud nine wait 4 a day or two n casually bring it in the conversation. all the best
2006-10-29 02:05:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi r u from Chennai , me too.
as 4 that girl tell her how much u love her,how much u need her, tell her what u feel 4 her,say her that u would do anything 4 her.as 4 the house, decorate it and show her ur house only in her birthday as a surprise.and tell her how much problems u have faced 4 this house.show her how much courageous and determined u her and tell her that u didn't went begging 4 money from ur parents or fens.
GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-10-28 19:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by cutey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other users have answered your question really well. I dont think i can add anything. I just want to wish you all the best.
2006-10-29 00:51:39 · answer #8 · answered by Revathy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be precise while asking for help
2006-10-29 06:16:00 · answer #9 · answered by satyen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋