i got preg. by mistake 1 yr ago. when i told my bf of 2yrs about this he was very calm and i was the one very upset.i was surprised he took it so well then i found out why.he had no plans on me keeping the baby.he asked me when i got home what i wanted to do about it and i told him i wanted to keep it.he then went into all the reasons he did not want this child all which were just excuses.i was really upset with this and took a few days to decide what i would do. all this time he keep asking what i was going to do and would not let up.when i told him i was going to terminate the preg. in tears he almost seemed happy and jumped up and said i'll take you.what makes this so hard is we are not poor teens or he is not some dead beat dad.he has a child from a prev. marrage that he loves to death and wants to be with every chance he gets.its so hard for me even a yr later to see him look at his son with so much love and joy and think he felt nothing about the child he made me terminate.
2006-10-28 17:41:52 · 31 answers · asked by debmorroy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your child. Please reconsider your relationship with this man. He is not worth your love or time.
2006-10-28 19:40:25 · answer #1 · answered by ragged 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
An honest answer here:
Please don't feel bad. You did not bring an unwanted child into this world (even if it was only his not wanting).
If you had chosen to have this child, you would have been faced with three options: stay with a man who didn't want to be a father to this child and try to raise it together (not a pretty picture, is it?); be a single mom and try to raise the child alone (at any age or income, not an easy task); place the child for adoption (the best option, in my opinion, but not something every woman can do).
Overall, I think this is a man you need to rethink your future with, because this is going to be a problem that continues to fester. See if he will go to counseling with you - obviously, he has some serious issues regarding fatherhood, and you apparently want to be a mother at some point. Please settle this before spending another year of your life with someone who may not be able to give you what you want in life.
2006-10-28 18:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by Johnna L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ABORTION is not at all the respond. It became a responsiblty of your's to hold the toddler to term and if he did no longer choose for the baby then you definately've will boost it on your person or gave it up for adoption. that's difficult to boost a baby as a single be certain. i be attentive to i'm elevating 4 beginning at 7 years to a 5month previous. yet you made the selection on account which you felt there have been no different selection and that's a difficult selection which would be with you mostly. merely bear in mind you do no longer might desire to hold it in component confer with him tell him the way you sense and confer with human beings come across a help team a chum or family contributors member which will pay attention. all of us make errors in life pray to god to help see you thru this it extremely is going to take time. good luck
2016-11-26 01:39:38 · answer #3 · answered by aundrea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an accidental pregnancy that ended in termination twice by the same man, it it was terrifying. I felt like I was utterly powerless, and you probably felt the same. I don't think men can fully understand the connection you may feel with your reproductive self, and believe you can simply abort without a second thought. My boyfriend was pretty callous about it, and yours is downright cruel. Really, men cannot understand what you're going through, and just want to get out of the situation as easily and quickly as possible. The male response seems to be, 'throw money at the problem and it will go away'.
2006-10-28 17:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all he didn't "make" you terminate the pregnancy. That's what he wanted, and you chose to do what he wanted. You chose him over your own child, and that is the reason why it's so hard for you now. How sad to think that a man can make a woman, any woman for that matter, terminate a little life that is growing inside her.
If he didn't want this baby, he should've been the one to get terminated.
2006-10-28 18:18:58 · answer #5 · answered by Das 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He didn’t make you terminate the pregnancy. He may have encouraged you to terminate the pregnancy, and you may have felt somewhat pressured into doing that, but still YOU made the final decision. Now I’m not implying that he handled the situation correctly, but you need to accept some responsibility here too.
Rather the decision was right or wrong, there’s no way to change it now. If you can’t move past it, then it’s probably best to end the relationship because there will always be a part of you that’s angry/resentful toward him over this.
2006-10-28 18:04:09 · answer #6 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
ummmmm......made???? Honey, it's your body and you make the decisions about it. I'm sorry that he pressured you into doing something that you didn't want to do. You should consider getting some counseling to help you deal with the sadness that you so obviously feel. If he or anyone else ever tries to pressure you into doing something again, just remember that you are an adult and you can say no, even if that person doesn't like it. If your man doesn't want more kids right now, then he should make sure precautions are taken! good luck, and I hope that someday you will have a beautiful child of your own!
2006-10-28 17:58:27 · answer #7 · answered by luvbabysky 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
i once had a similar experience, i was not a teen, and i did not want another child, the father wanted it terminated, i left him, after much soul searching i decided to have the baby,well my son is now 30, i never regretted having him, he in a sense saved my life. my son's dad also had other kids he adored, but he did not want mine. no one can force you to do anything. he is selfish, and didn't want another child to support. you should have set boundaries, you should have never comprimised your wants and beliefs just to keep this man. i know that it's too late now, and it's you who will think forever of this child.he was happy when you terminated the pregnacy, he did not have to pay for another child. never let someone make your decisions for you.i am so surprised you are still with this man.
2006-10-28 17:54:55 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He didn't make you it sounds like you consciously made that choice on your own and are now feeling bad about it. Just because he wanted you to doesn't mean you Had to do it. Besides children aren't mistakes as you so delicately put it they are surprises sometimes but never a mistake. Abortion is a woman's choice it is her body and a man can not make that choice for us. Face it Hun you chose to kill your child because that's what your man wanted and now you have to live with it. So maybe you should rephrase that question and refer to it as the child I terminated because he wanted me to.
2006-10-28 19:02:15 · answer #9 · answered by babygirl_k2001 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be with this guy and you should look into getting some therapy. I've had an abortion myself and even though I was the ultimate decision maker, it helps to talk to someone, it still hurts. I don't know how old you are or anything but if you want to talk, you can e-mail me by going to my Answers profile.
2006-10-28 18:09:55 · answer #10 · answered by Nicole 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably think it is too expensive to have another child right now. Or he may be scared that you guys will break up and that you may demand a ridiculous amount of child support. A friend of my felt that way.
Ultimately I just think your boyfriend isn't ready to take on a new responsibility. That still doesn't make it right though.
2006-10-28 17:53:30 · answer #11 · answered by Bu Tran 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋