How do i attract a good guy in my life? that will commit, not cheat or hit me?
i want a good guy but they dont want me. why? im pretty, college degree'd, sweet, considerate, virgin. but only bad guys r attracted to me. i kinda hate the good guys too cuz they wont give me achance, ifeel like its their fault i end up with a guy that cheata and beats me. i had3 bf's do this to me and a brother who gave me a black eye, and punched me in the head unconscious, whe i was younger. i kind of hate men all together, can u blame me? a man killed my dad, a man tried to rape me a man always abuses and abandons me. its hard when your dating to look 4 signs about a guy esp cuz they r fake and out of the blue do 180. by that time its too late. how can i weed them out when they are phony nice?
2006-10-28 17:29:48 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I would say to take up ballroom dancing at a local college or other private organization. (Don't do Arthur Murray or any used car type of sales place like that!) Nice respectful guys are there.
2006-10-28 17:33:30 · answer #1 · answered by HomeSweetSiliconValley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you slow down and get to know the guy's better.Don't blame men for all your problems.Try to get a little therapy for the attempted rape and abuse you have suffered. Therapy isn't bad, it allows you the time to deal with the issues you are dealing with. You need a support system right now and you need to heal, so don't jump back into a relationship right now. You sound like a very educated young women with a lot to offer the right person. be more selective and don't settle for anything less then what you are, smart, educated and wise beyond your years...
2006-10-28 17:41:15 · answer #2 · answered by Katherine C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you could always email me at
z_o_r_r_o@yahoo.com
I am 38, by the way, just in case you have a problem with that age. I consider myself to be a nice, decent guy. I am not a hunk, by any means, but I believe in treating women right. I try to do nice, thoughtful things for women and I get a lot of pleasure if the things I do for them makes them happy. Unfortunately, I get taken advantage of a lot, so now I typically try to hold off on being "too nice too soon."
Anyways, I am rambling. Send me an email if you'd like.
2006-10-28 18:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by z_o_r_r_o 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First get some therapy. If you grew up seeing abuse in your household you have expectations in your subconscious mind that will set you up for bad relationships. So first you need to work on yourself. Find a good therapist. Read some self-help books on loving yourself.
There is a good book, which I have forgotten the name of. I think it is something about getting the Love you want. It explains that we are attracted to the people who remind us of our parent and the unresolved issues with that parent. It is much better to resolve these issues in therapy rather than in real life. Then you will find that you are attracted to nicer men and they to you.
Good luck.
2006-10-28 17:41:42 · answer #4 · answered by tonks_op 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, "It's hard when you're DATING to look for signs....."
Dating, as done in this country is a stupid way to find a spouse. A guy shaves, bathes, uses cologne, washes the car, shines his shoes, flosses, irons his shirt, and holds the door for you during a date..... and a girl puts on just as false a front. And THAT"S the way to try to get to really know each other???
Get involved in a group that does something you like. A GROUP. Don't go find people to "date". In a group setting, everyone is more free to be themselves. You can get to know people that way.
I teach the post HS men's group at my church. Here's what I tell them to do. Put you eyes on Jesus and run for all you're worth. Look to your left and look to your right. If there are any girls who are keeping up, those are the ones to be interested in.
My advise - go be one of those girls.
2006-10-28 17:43:56 · answer #5 · answered by teran_realtor 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ouch. honey, sounds like your having some major codependency issues. i would seek therapy. go talk to a therapist. get down to the reason you are attracted to this type of man. when you figure you out, you'll find your not dating the same type of man any longer. you'll smell a rat a mile away.
good luck!
2006-10-28 17:34:31 · answer #6 · answered by annie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, if I went through that I'd hate men too!
To answer your question:
A: just look for a friend.
or
B: Have your mother, or even better - your grandmother, hook you up, and don't question them.
2006-10-28 18:40:21 · answer #7 · answered by sincere12_26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ones you normally reject. The quiet shy ones. The boring ones might I say.
2006-10-28 17:31:17 · answer #8 · answered by S h ä r k G û m b ò 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need to talk to my foster dad. He has raised his kid by himself from a baby, because most girls he dated, turn out like his lazy cheating ex wife.
2006-10-28 17:37:26 · answer #9 · answered by crashvander 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋