I just turned 25 and for the first time my mom completly blew me off and didnt contact me in any way on my irthday. She doesnt like my boyfriend and I have just told her that we really love each other and we are happy and I wish she would support us. ANother thing is that I have rally realized how manipulative and negative she has always been so I have really cut her out of my life alot. I only contact her with good news now when I used to vent. She semmed to always only give me attention when I had bad things happining. Anyway, I would say that our relationship was toxic and I am a much beter person without her in it but man, I cant believe she didnt contact me on my birthday. I feel really unloved. Im not going to confront her on it as i feel its her responsibility to do so. In a positive light, its made me see how NOT to belike her though. Ive relaly grown up cause she didnt contact me. I feel hurt but like i can move on also.
2006-10-28 17:10:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
guess i should also mention i have a son and she doesnt even care to contact him!
2006-10-28 17:21:39 · update #1
How bad is it? Not bad at all. You're mother never has been much of a mother. You know that ... you knew that. Nothing new there. Despite all the marvelous things that have been written about loving mothers, not all mothers are loving. Shoot, not all mothers are 'liking'.
You made the decision to cut her out of your life. Very wise. Now, stick to your guns, raise your child in a loving atmosphere and don't read ANYTHING into non-support when you told her something good came into your life. She doesn't like 'nice'.
You can't change people!
2006-10-28 17:41:12 · answer #1 · answered by Stephen C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Happy Birthday! I guess you could say that this is a pivotal moment in your life. You are only 1 year older but today, you have really grown in a much bigger way.
Every parent wants their child to have a better life than they did. So for that your Mom should be happy.
You have also learned that your mom isn't the best confidant to turn to if she's manipulative because she will use the things that you vent on her more to her advantage, than yours.
I think you could say that you experienced an epiphany. So forget about the negatives that were exposed by this, & congratulate yourself on your growth spurt.
So call her up soon, & tell her what a great life you are having, how you had a Happy B'Day, & that even though you missed her call, all things considered it was a great day.
Cheers!
2006-10-28 17:24:55 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure the only reason she didn't contact you was b/c of the current tension between you two. Maybe she was worried that he call would do more harm than good. I'm not saying that what she did was right, but Mother's aren't perfect and they also exercise poor judgment. Maybe if you contacted her and told her how you felt this may provide you an opportunity to talk. If she's always called in the past, then I think there is more to her not calling than the fact that she's just a bad mom.
2006-10-28 17:34:11 · answer #3 · answered by ca belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you feel, I guess only somebody in your position can.
But I do know a lot about the suffering....my husband's mother has not called him in years. And I see how disappointed he gets year after year, hoping and waiting for that phone call.
Being a mother myself, I am unable to understand such behavior. What ever differences there are, that bond between a mother and her child is just so very special for me.
I can just hope and wish, your boyfriend can and will give you the strength to learn to deal with this. Let him give you all the love you deserve.
I wish you all the best!
2006-10-28 17:17:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom's don't forget when Their babies were born. Sounds like a Control Issue. Perhaps You have spoken to Her about difficult times between You and Your Boyfriend in the past. Mom's hold onto that stuff. Anyway I would like to wish You the Happiest of Birthday Wishes.....May God Bless Your Upcoming Year....and All Your Years to Come.................And May Your Son Know How Very Important, Cared For, and Loved He Is.
May God Bless You All
2006-10-28 17:43:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is soooooo sad:( It sounds like you both have some deep-rooted issues with each other. I hope that the two of you can get some counseling, either together or separate, and work things out. She's your mom and life is too short to hold grudges. Good luck and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
2006-10-28 17:21:49 · answer #6 · answered by luvbabysky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I feel bad for you. I wish you a very happy Birthday for her. I think it is sad that she didn't even call or send you a card or gift. God Bless you my dear. You are old enough to choose your boy friends with out her consent. She should be happy for you. I wish you all the happiness in the future.
2006-10-28 17:19:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes she definitely sounds a bit on the dysfunctional side. But I bet that comes from her upbringing also. Don't be too fast to push her away, she is your mom and I bet she would be there for you no matter what. I bet she is just dying because you did not contact her after you re birthday with no word from her. I hope this does not become a stand-off between the two of you because i did that with my over controlling father, we did not speak for 9 years, and He passed away before I got over myself enough and I regret not having him in my life for his last years, i miss him It is too late for me don't let pride rob you of the last years with your mom.
2006-10-28 17:18:41 · answer #8 · answered by sosueme534 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you get older your memory is not as good as it used to, may be she forgot, but that is not the end of the world, I bet you forget dates, names and stuff like that as well. Just give her a chance to explain herself, just call her and ask her why she didn't call, but don't judge her just for a missing Happy Birthday wish, who hasn't forgot a birthday?
2006-10-28 17:21:38 · answer #9 · answered by fun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whos the child here?it is disgusting that she didnt call but youve made the right choice and on the right path to healing. it takes time for these type of parents to grow up. you get good parents and you get sucky parents. and shes a sucky one. when i left to go inter state, i asked my so called mother to send some of my kids toys over for my child. i payed for it. and she sent it,when i opened up the box, on the bottom was a large brick wrapped up in material.which made it heavier. is that a sucky parent or what? but i forgive her and i have no contact with her at all. i have a very happy life without her but i do wish things wernt like that.
2006-10-28 17:23:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋