My husband and I are always fighting about his friends. They are at our house about two nights a week until three in the morning. He doesn't even ask me if it is alright or if I wanted to go do something. They are loud and drink and it really gets on my nerves. I hate it on Fridays bc I have to work on Sat. and I can't get any sleep. I feel like he needs to grow up and not party every Fri and Sat night. Oh he plays poker on Wed and doesn't come home until two and I lose sleep. It really p***** me off. He says at least I am home drinking. What should I do? We can't even go anywhere and of course I am the only female out of 10 people.
2006-10-28 16:46:16 · 9 answers · asked by monicaandchris2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're not wrong! But don't try to make him choose between you and his friends cause even though he should choose you, he doesn't want to make that choice. Don't make him give up his friends, but make some comprimises that you can both agree on. Don't always make his friends your friends. Find some friends of your own and that will make him a little jealous and want to spend more time with you. I have a feeling you can be a little clingy and he just wants some space. Give him a little space and he will respect you for it.
2006-10-28 16:51:37 · answer #1 · answered by lilwalker02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't respect you ! he knows you need your rest in order to get up early and go to work !! So you have to Demand that he respects you and that he puts you First before his own enjoyment!! He is inmuture to do this too ! Don't let him run the house llike he is cause he is then running all over you !! tell him what days of the week he can have his friends over and what days he can't !! Like when you have to get up early and stuff ! Set him down and tell him his has to make a PLan with you !! You live there to and he must respect you and he has to give a little just like you are giving to him, when you allow him to have friends over on a certain day of the week !!! So get with him and pick those days they can come !!! Don't allow him to keep doing this, you will not be happy and you will end of having to leave him!! Let him pick you or his friends if you have to tell him that and mean what you say , so if he picks his friends then be ready to leave his AS_ !!
2006-10-28 16:59:23 · answer #2 · answered by sports_runner_racing 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
umm...some people would advice talking, but seems the situation is worse. I don't know about this much, but I am a guy myself (though unmarried, 20 yrs) but if I had a wife, I would be worried if she were to adopt drinking habits and stay away till 5 or 6, 7, 8 ,9 ... in the morning (no point in staying away till 2 or 3 am...that's when husband gets home, so he won't 'miss' you)....um do you have friends whose house you can stay over at and come back at 8/9am the next day? This way you could assert that you miss him and tell him you feel the same way he feels for you when you go missing till late hours (in the morning). Sometimes men can be hardheaded...they need a whack on their head to understand the situation and discomfort they cause people around them. (I like being a man, don't get me wrong, but I hate associating with those who ruin our name, lol). The only problem I can think of in this is if u have children...um...who will watch them,...or if u take them with you..I don't know, but you need to be aggressive and straighten the situation out before it goes into his head too much that it is ok for him to do things like those you said.
sorry if i wasn't of much help. good luck :)
2006-10-28 16:56:13 · answer #3 · answered by Red X 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marriage counseling is the obvious answer. If he won't go, then you go. Your behavior is enabling this. He is wrong, but you are helping be wrong.
He keeps you up - don't work the next day. Financial pressure.
Wednesday - set a reasonable hour, communicate it clearly, then leave his pillow and a blanket on the sofa.
Can't go anywhere - presumably $ - can't stay home either, take away tv/internet/stop cooking.
These are fairly sophisticated steps requiring great communication so be sure to get counseling first.
2006-10-28 16:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell him no parties on nights before work and leave it at that. If he doesn't get the message, leave the house and just tell him you are going "out." Don't say more. Do this a few times and he should get the message.
Some guys just don't get it until you they get a brick to the head. Use a soft brick.
2006-10-28 17:11:01 · answer #5 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Uh how old are the both of you? And honey I am sorry to say but you married him and I hope you did not think that you could change him into being something he already was after the fact, but now you have to deal with it because it was your choice to marry such an immature person.
2006-10-28 16:51:13 · answer #6 · answered by proud of it 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
at least he ain't running around with his friends an then comes in @ 3 a.m.! i would be more concerned with the 2 a.m. wed nights! which is a lil' rude there. and all your explaining won't help because i am sure you have already done that. so i would go more along the lines of him being out until 2 a.m. an get upset over that with him.
2006-10-28 16:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you should get a sitter one night while he is out and get some of your girlfriends and got out till 4 am then see how he likes it. Hell its your house to when his friends come over tell them to leave at a reasonalble time they should respect you in your home
2006-10-28 17:27:44 · answer #8 · answered by *Heather* 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all he really needs to take your feeling in consideration.
if he loves you he will respect you.ask him to tone it down. if he is not willing to go half way,well there are plenty of men who will take you in a heart beat.
2006-10-28 16:51:47 · answer #9 · answered by wndy_soto 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋