my girlfriend and i want to have a baby she already has two from a previous marriage i have never had a child i am a woman i want to use a sperm bank to have one but she doesnt because she thinks it will be mine and someone elses not hers so she wants to adopt i dont have a problem with that i would love to adopt but i still want to have at least one from my belly how can i make her see this?it would be our baby both of ours just like the two we already have please some advice
2006-10-28 15:53:32 · 15 answers · asked by getcuriouswithgeorge 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
as a product of an anonymous donor, i beg of you to not create a child who won't know their father or their siblings. it is hell to live a life of mystery, wondering if every man you pass on the street is "him" or if every person u date might be a sibling, and having to embarrassingly ask them what their fathers did when they were younger. the eldest of us that i know is in their 60s, and we are still being created. i know that the majority of us would rather have been created in ways other than this. it's not to say that we despise our parents, as we love them very much. but their inconsiderate decisions have created a good deal of pain for us, and it is their responsibilities too. most of us will never know who "he" is, or our siblings, despite all the efforts we make to find out. please, i ask you, look further into the situation of the offspring. and please message me back with whatever questions you may have, or if you want to know my story or the stories of others of us. there is so much i don't think is considered before creating a child who will never know half of themselves. remember, if you have that much love to give to a child...there are alternatives...and your girlfriend has those alternatives in mind...
2006-10-30 18:28:52 · answer #1 · answered by luckyturtle788 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If you adopt, the baby would we "someone else's" and "someone else's".
If you use a sperm bank, the baby would at least have your genes.
I don't have a SO in my life right now, but want to have a baby, and would consider a sperm bank before adoption.
Your girlfriend, having already had two children, should understand what it's like to carry one in her womb and wanting that experience. However, it's difficult to change someone's mind when it's already made up.
I wish you luck in whatever you two will decide.
2006-10-28 17:53:40 · answer #2 · answered by Sexy Eyes 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I say that if you want to experience the joys of childbirth then you and your girlfriend should sit and talk. Let her know that you really want to experience it. If you need to both of you can talk with a consoular on the matter. Visit a sperm bank and see what your options are. Let her know that you will think of the baby as both of yours. Not someones elses. tell her you love her and that it will be a special 9 months for the both of you.
2006-10-28 16:07:51 · answer #3 · answered by trey_holbrook 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What some couples have done in the past is invitro fertilization. What they do is mix both your eggs with donor sperm, then implant the woman who wants to carry the child. The women don't know if it was their egg (or eggs) that ultimately made the baby, so they both feel it is theirs.
Of course, if a DNA test is ever required, for medical reasons or whatever, the truth would be found out.
Or you could deliberately have one of her eggs implanted in you - so it's her egg but you carry the baby.
2006-10-28 19:39:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How will you determine and/or find out the genetic make-up of the biological father of the child you want to conceive for future medical purposes? How will your child feel being born out-of-wedlock? How will you explain to your child what you've done to it by coming from a sperm bank? Think first about your child's/adult's emotions and about your selfish decision, for the child's sake.
2006-10-28 19:39:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her either way that it will not be hers biologically. You wont even know the sperm donor. it is the same as adoption. I think that being able to have a baby is great, but adoption is great too. tell her how you feel and I suggest that you get waht you want, this way youdon't regret missing out.
2006-10-28 15:59:23 · answer #6 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should make a point of wining this one
she has 2 children that she carried why would she wants to take away that pleasure from you
you should not take let someone take that from you
since this child will be father by a sperm donnor that mean she will definitly be the other parent
you truly need to explain to her that you want to experience carring a child
her reasoning is not base on love but selfishness
Good luck
2006-10-29 01:14:36 · answer #7 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She doesn't want to have one that way because then, the baby will be related to you, but not her at all. She won't feel like the baby is hers at all. That is why she wants to adopt one. So she can feel like that is is both of yours, and not just one of yours.
2006-10-28 15:58:04 · answer #8 · answered by George 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
would you take that from a man...why let her contradict your happiness. Tell her her kids aren't yours...she has two....why can't you have one....PLUS....why do you want to be with some one so stubborn...and selfish. Maybe you can ask her ...."Why is it that you have to except and love her children...when she can't do the same for you."....she's worst than a jealous man....you can also say....that her kids are not yours....so whats the problem.
2006-10-28 21:20:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
just explain to her how important it is to you to go through the child birth expierence and if she cant support your decision then does she really love that much any way?
2006-10-28 16:33:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋