I could go on forever, but lets just say that the last year has been an annus horriblis. I lost my home to foreclosure, had falling outs with several close ( I thought) friends, had an affair with a younger man who broke my heart even though he made me feel so good and made so many promises, started drinking to much and generally screwing up. I am a middle aged woman with a long suffering husband of 9 years. I am trying to hold it together, but it is getting harder and harder. I miss the friends I thought they were, but the rational part of me realizes that they were just partying buddies, not true friends.I feel so alone and betrayed, even though I have a husband who loves me, he is getting tired of the miserable me. I miss these people who obviously don't miss me.
2006-10-28 15:45:41 · 8 answers · asked by desertskieswoman 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am surprised that your husband is still with you after your affair! Either he is a gem to be held onto or he has no self-esteem.
I think it is time to put away childish things like drinking with drinking buddies. You know those people won't keep hanging out with you unless you're all drinking. Fair-weather friends are no use to anyone.
Do some volunteer work with people who are really doing it tough - beaten women, orphans, homeless people, and then make the decision to get happy about what you've got. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Hurry up and enjoy the simple things!
2006-10-28 19:04:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
desertski: My heart goes out to you ! You sound like you have been through 10 wars and lost them all ! You know; I find it rather, strange that when we trust others, particularly those who pose as our "friends", we are left out in the cold when they violate our trust. You have been through a tough learning experience, which life throws our way, every now and then. You want to "return to reality" and not back to the phoney world of opportunists and users, do you ? Well; I can offer you direction but you have to make the choice to go that way. I know that you are not going to like the answer to get you back on the road to reality but YOU ASKED and I will answer. Try seeking God's help . Ask Him to give you direction for a purpose in this life. Sounds too simplistic ? Try it and mean it ! You will be amazed at the results you will get ! Unless you want the world of pretence, phonies, and lies instead. I came from the same arena as you are in - I know how you feel.
2006-10-28 16:04:57 · answer #2 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*SHAKE* *SHAKE**SHAKE* It's all about your perspective. You need to set a goal and a plan to get there. You need to make this goal your focus. Do you have children? If so, they need to be in your plan. And, believe it or not, God can make your life so much better. If you have faith and trust Him to work in your life. Find you a church to go to. Any new church will feel weird at first, but if its' the right church for you, then it will feel like home after a couple of weeks. God helps those who have a pure heart. I believe you have a pure heart. Yes, you screwed up and made some bad decisions. We all do. That is why Jesus died on the cross. For our mistakes. If you are waiting until you are perfect to go to church, then you will never go. None of us are perfect. We just don't tell everyone what we do. Only God. I hope everything works out for you. You are in my prayers.
2006-10-28 15:55:35 · answer #3 · answered by jennifer c 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How about concentrating on the husband who loves you and neglecting your so called friends. Shh, we all think there's something exciting, new etc, etc, etc out there but what we're really missing is the exciting person we're with, if we give them a chance to be who they really are....question yourself, why are you going out with girlfriends who are looking for what you already have?????? Once they have found the husband you have are they going to go out partying with you???? I don't think so, more like they're happy and you're divorced looking for some other women to go out with..... Your husband still wants you????Wow how lucky are you, now it's his turn to be happy, step outside yourself and make that happen. He deserves that much for putting up with your affair and all the crap that proceeded your affair. How so terribly hard for him during your bull---t. How many women wish they have what you have......good luck, you'd be lucky to hang on to someone who is so dedicated you.
2006-10-28 16:00:59 · answer #4 · answered by crkristy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your looking for something and you don't even know what it is....This whole thing..ie life.. was designed for you to see something....someone...take a guess at where I am going....This is not some off the wall answer...If you want joy...peace..and a life worth talking about...Life can't be about you and your circumstances....Get up and stop sitting in self pity...no one ever got anywhere but lower from sitting there...I have your answer...but are you ready yet to receive it is the real question...
2006-10-28 15:55:54 · answer #5 · answered by bushidopupil 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
remember, life is full of troubles but u shall never give up.
on a paper - write down the negative points in ur life and +ve points ----- try harder to think of +ve ones.
think what can you do to eliminate the -ves.
try your best and if it still does not help - you tried your best. what can you do
be brave.
2006-10-28 15:52:31 · answer #6 · answered by i don know y 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like youre not married at all. I really wonder who is the one suffering...seems like it's your husband!! Please divorce the man cuz he cant do it, he's too nice for his own good and deserves better...dont you think? The life that you want and yearn for...you should be single for that. Good luck.
2006-10-28 15:53:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Get yourself into some counseling, ASAP. Take your husband with you.
2006-10-28 15:56:59 · answer #8 · answered by Jess H 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋