lately, he has an attitude like if we don't like it then screw us all. He said if he wants to do something then he will do it and he does not need to consult anyone. I feel like this is not partnership. Am I wrong to want to be considered in things, even if it seems small?? I feel like I always try to do what is best for the whole family. What is going on here?
2006-10-28 15:35:17 · 15 answers · asked by Smilingcheek 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Married for 9 years, in our early 30s, and we have 3 children under 7.
2006-10-28 15:41:18 · update #1
So normally I'd say you have to talk to him about this but seems that you've all ready tried that. My advice to you would be to try to find out what's bothering him without badgering him with a million questions. Life with little ones is hard on everyone at times. I have three kids as well 8,5 and 14months. life is not easy all the time and when you're a working parent life is stressfull. He could just feel like his whole world is being runned by kids and he feels he needs to asert himself and make some decisions. it's not rigth, i agree but alot of men go thru that. Could be a midlife crisis also. No he's not to young my husband got his at 29 !This is a hard stage you need to get a babysitter one night ever two weeks minimum. go out just the two of you insist on it. You need time together to reconnect . If he feels like he's also your friend not just your hubby again maybe he'll open up to you. Woman have no problem sharing feelings. Men on the other hand well... Try communicating while you're alone and stress free at nite. If that doesn't work let him know in a calm cool and collected way that this is your marriage and your family as well and that although you respect his opinions you don't feel that he is giving you the same respect. Marriage is a two way street your both equals. You'll work it out he's probably stuck in a rut. If this continues though for more than a month there are deeper routed issues. Maybe he's looking for an out becuase he doesn't think he can handle it anymore. If you need to chat feel free to email me. montreatlhottie@yahoo.ca
Good Luck
2006-10-28 15:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the two of you are not in the same wave lenghth. You need to find out the deep reasons for him to act this way, his job, health, personal goals in life etc.. On the other hand, maybe he feels that you are trying to control him too much?? eg. why do you insist on consulting even if small things (which may have no effect on you or the family)?. If he is a good husband, a good father, he would have taken you and the kids into his decisions on things already and so there is no need to consult you?? In any case, you and him need to sit down and resolve the communication issue so that there is no mis-undertsanding between the two of you.
2006-10-28 16:08:33 · answer #2 · answered by Peter_F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if he has no respect for you anymore, and that you don't come first in his life, and he doesn't care if your hurt. sounds like he is cheating on you, keep your eyes open, try and communicate with him about what he is feeling and why, this is the time when someone else can get into your marriage and sway your husbands feeling's away from you. you are not wrong to expect to be treated fairly in a marriage.you have to set boundaries with him if he is treating you unfair, people don't confront because they fear abandonment, but chances are if you don't confront bad behavior now, you will become resentful and respond in the wrong way to him and make matters worse. tell him this hurts you. if he is putting emotional distance between you than maybe the marriage is in trouble. communicate now, before its too late.
2006-10-28 15:47:49 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just people. My mom gets really ditzy when she's around her sisters and my best friend just gets weird around a lot of people. He probably doesn't realize he's doing it, it's just how he is with his brother. In fact, he might be putting up a charade to be the guy he thinks his brother wants him to be. If you've asked him and he just gets defensive, I would just ignore the behaviour and understand (or at least tell yourself!) that he doesn't do it on purpose. As long as he still treats you good when you're alone that's all you need!
2016-05-22 04:27:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is one of those questions that only HE can answer.
If you want a marraige to work communication is key, you can be honest about your emotions and ask him if there is anything you can do to create a better situation.. that way you are not attacking him but asking for support to strengthen your marriage.
P.S. act now and don't listen to the little voices in your head that can make it a big deal or look it over. If it matters, do something about it. I'm guessing your marraige definitely matters.
2006-10-28 15:41:11 · answer #5 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if your husband is feeling OVER stressed and feeling like he can't measure up to anyone's expectations.
No, it's not wrong for you to want to be considered. That being said, a man has to have something of his own where he doesn't have to ask.
2006-10-28 18:44:39 · answer #6 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gather from what you had wrote, that your husband and you are having communication problems. One counselor once said Men need to listen to their wife's needs. However, this is done best when the wife does not nag. Vice Versa - Women need to stop nagging. This is done best when men listen(and not try to fix the problem) women's needs. When this happens, your values and goals will be more balanced. I hope this helps. If it doesn't, I'm sorry.
2006-10-29 01:27:19 · answer #7 · answered by SAHM/Part Time Tutor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could just be stressed talk with him get a babysitter and have quiet night on the town and get down to some serious discussion
before you are looking at divorce proceedings.
2006-10-28 15:48:19 · answer #8 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband took on that attitude 2 years ago and he's still that way, actually worse. Good Luck!
2006-10-28 15:41:57 · answer #9 · answered by monkeymadness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be he having problem with his work or there may be some1 else thats coming in to his life. Just take care n keep watching him, dont argue or say nothing cause this will make things worst.
2006-10-28 15:39:31 · answer #10 · answered by harry d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋