Shakespeare is full of fun and entertaining ways to insult
a person, all with Elizabethan English.
For instance (from https://czarism.com/flame/ultimate02 ):
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say
in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour p!ss out of a boot with instructions on
the heel.
You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer
than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a
spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are
a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench,
a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly
with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world.
An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling,
giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of
what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to
the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at
the very thought of you.
You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless,
less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did
I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before
attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop
will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more
rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its
beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly
before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble
blood.
May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish
beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid,
nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus.
Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you.
You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that
reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important
statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy
do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have
more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle,
waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious.
You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless
void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed,
slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind
me of drool.
You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of
wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are
the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you
go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock.
You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking
twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You
churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You
craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed
coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise
everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
2006-10-28 15:36:20
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answer #1
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answered by Elana 7
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. dumber than a stick for intelligence
or bovine fecal matter for hogwash or misinformed
shoot for sh*t
idiot illegitimate son with the B*****d substituted
shove it ..... cut short
take a long walk on a short pier
why don't you hang yourself
and all the slang names for race or sexual persuasion
get a life
read a book
nothing seems to sub for cussing though there are thousands of
bad expressions the most lame are sometimes the most impacting
you could compile a tome
peace out and enjoy
2006-10-28 15:56:56
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answer #2
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answered by dogpatch USA 7
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David Cameron Nick Clegg Jeremy Clarkson Joe felt Cameronised/Cleggorific/Clarksonified in his new town xD
2016-05-22 04:27:38
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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Wow. No way can I match Elana, but the worst insult I know is that someone has cranial-rectal syndrome. Think about it...
2006-10-28 16:09:41
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answer #4
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answered by perelandra 4
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bastard
adjective
Born to parents who are not married to each other: baseborn, illegitimate, misbegotten, natural, spurious, unlawful. See kin, law
You mama is so ugly that we had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her!!! -Chirs Rock
2006-10-28 15:39:02
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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You gobbet of pus. You vile putrescent stillbirth. You puddled remnant of a crackhouse toilet. You spastic foreskin. You sticky dribbling mass on the well-worn thigh of Paris Hilton. You make mirrors vomit. You horrible deformity of a running sore.
lol that felt good, actually. Thanks!
2006-10-28 15:52:27
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answer #6
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answered by Random Task 2
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*asshole [someone being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, or just a total d i c k h e a d....]
*d i c k h e a d [a person who is an idiot and shows it all too well]
*********** [1:A person that makes your life as hard as possible.
2:A person that will stand in your way, and mess anything up you do.
3:A person that only cares for them self, and no one else!
4:A person that is looking to give one trouble.]
2006-10-28 15:41:34
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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son of ten thousand maggots. You smell like the garbage from outside of a chicken killing factory. Your mother appears to have been descended from dogs and your father from gorillas.(that do it for you? or I could go on)
2006-10-28 15:37:22
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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Elana has a lot of good ones.
Perelandra, I think you mean 'recticranial inversion'.
Another good one is " Did your mother have any children that lived?"
2006-10-28 17:15:09
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answer #9
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answered by Traveler 3
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Lowlife, boor, imbecile, cretin, ignoramus, moron, idiot, buffoon, etc.
There are wonderful insults if you have a good vocabulary and they are far more effective than the usual obscenities.
2006-10-28 15:47:27
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answer #10
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answered by notyou311 7
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