like i said above my husband cheateda year ago...well the people he cheated with called(it waas his cousins wife) to come upi for his b-day tonight and have a beer, i'm tring to trust him again but i dunno what i was thinking. do you think him being in the same situation he was ayear ago he will do it again?
2006-10-28 15:31:09 · 23 answers · asked by trblmmmy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk to him about it and maybe go with him.
2006-10-28 15:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"once a cheater always a cheater" this saying keeps a lot of people thinking that if you turn your back on your spouse it'll happen again, not always the case. one can change to become what he/ she was prior (a trusting, loving, and honest person). if you trust him then let it be, if this is something that you just can't deal with for the fear of the past then you haven't gotten over the past and you really need to talk with him for this fear of "cheating" will be hanging over everything he does. when someone does nothing to empower the other to accuse them of such a deed this will start them thinking of why should i be faithful when I'm being accused of or treated like I'm cheating. don't open this door for him. trust him until he shows you that you can't. and try working on getting to know him again, after such an thing you both have changed and time and your harts are the only things that can help with the healing process. hang onto you love for it'll take time but keep working on it with him and you'll see (feel) the changes in time.
2006-10-28 23:09:39 · answer #2 · answered by brian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband's issue is a foundational principle problem. He has no respect or real love for you. You need both to indicate true love. If you aren't comfortable with trusting him, he has not accomplished this task. You would not feel mistrust if he was totally reliable. You would be comfortable in knowing that he is not going to cheat on you. He would give you control and authority over him, voluntarily. He doesn't, or you wouldn't be asking this question at this time. The question is not that you have the patience and forgiveness for him. The real question is does he have the respect and love for you.
Sorry, I've been there most of my life. Don't compromise. You will be far more happy if you find one that really loves YOU!
2006-10-28 23:04:37 · answer #3 · answered by navigate100 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends. Does her husband know about it and how does he feel about the situation/ If you want to trust, you have to let the past go. If you are in fear that he will do again, keep the situation from getting to the same point aka, nix the beer and the cousins wife. explain to HIM that you dont feel comfortable with her around and would rather enjoy the evening with him. If you dont feel that you can let the past go or if he doesnt see a "problem" with it, you should seek counseling.
2006-10-28 22:34:48 · answer #4 · answered by Beans 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason the saying goes, "once a cheater always a cheater." but that is not the only reason...if you are having doubts and looking to others to tell you what to do...you are just looking for confirmation. You already know what to do. Don't put yourself through the stress and heartache of being with someone that does not care or respect you by cheating. There is always going to be doubt and you can't be in a relationship or a trusting one when there is always doubt. You already know what to do, you don't need us to tell you what to do. Go with your heart...and what is going to be best in the long run. You are trusting your heart and your body (possibly std's or AID's) to this man...is it worth it?
2006-10-28 22:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by cocoa198517 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of this as an opportunity to see if you can trust him... This is his test, just don't tell him that.
On another note...his cousin's wife?? I don't know if I would trust anyone who would mess around with a family member's spouse. Good Luck.
2006-10-28 22:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by monkeymadness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the very large problem with being a victim of someone who cheats. To regain trust is next to impossible. If you do NOT trust him, that's the prob. Because even if he does nothing, it will be hard for you to believe.
2006-10-28 22:39:32 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I suggest you seek marriage counseling. But in all honesty, getting rid of him is probably the best way to go.
2006-10-28 22:33:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
was he remorseful, did you all talk about the hurt you were feeling, did he agree it was wrong? or have you not worked through it yet?the hurt takes time to heal,are there any unresolved issues? no one knows if he will do it again, but in my experience with others, they have always cheated again. it's just in their nature, it's about who they are, and their belief system. communicate with him, spell out the consequences if he does it again, and than you have to be ready to back it up with some action.
2006-10-28 22:39:13 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the thought of the two of them getting together makes you uncomfortable, tell your husband. Out of respect for you, he should stay away from her if you want him to. He crossed the line w/ her- and he should respect your feelings about her.
2006-10-28 23:35:02 · answer #10 · answered by JustMyOpinion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on hows yall relationship been since then...has he promised and been faithful to you since then???
give him the chance to say NO to the gurl but if he messes up expalin to him how you feel and then leave him beacuse you already gave him a second chance and even if you give him another chance;.....sometimes you have to run out of chances
2006-10-28 22:34:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋